Tired of being hidden.

[Telephone]

Well, we're seeing each other tomorrow. Wish us luck!

[kittyxuchiha11]

Well, we're seeing each other tomorrow. Wish us luck!

Good luck! I hope it turns out okay :3

[Elizabeth123]

Well that's good news! Enjoy your visit!

[C.C.]

Congrats. Hopefully the visit will be a good one~

[Telephone]

He is here and it feels really right I am the happiest I've been in a long time and he says the feeling is mutual. We still have two weeks together and the first day has been amazing. Talking non stop, cuddling a lot, doing silly random stuff.

Keeping fingers crossed for the rest of our time together! Thank you all for all the support ♡

[Elizabeth123]

Glad the visit is off to a great start!!!

[Telephone]

Two weeks are almost behind us - he's leaving tomorrow and I am just SO, SO sad. It's been great so far! We managed to spend a good chunk of that time at home, chilling together, joking around and basically being happy together. We also managed to squeeze in a nice, albeit short, trip around my country :-)

Now off to see him very soon (if everything works out) for another two weeks!

[Telephone]

Quick update (to share my happiness and a bit of my sadness, too!) :-)

After spending two weeks with him at my place, everything got very chaotic. At first we were supposed to wait around extra two weeks and see each other around the second part of August (well.. now), but in a matter of a day or two we've decided not to stall. All that ended with us spending a solid month together (two weeks Poland, two weeks US). It's been amazing. Everything between us worked out, we are sure the emotions we felt online are identical (if not much stronger ;-)) to the ones we felt upon seeing each other and being together. These four weeks just flew by and we got to spend every waking moment together - and did not grow tired of each other at all. We shared a lot of new experiences, we set up new goals (both as a couple but also as individual people - which is crazy important for us) and now, more than ever, we are sure we WILL work out and the distance WILL be closed some time in the future. We're opting to close it in two years, more less, but no promises. We still need to work on our lives, jobs, take care of unfinished businesses. That is fine. As long as we don't ignore the issue altogether, it is fine.

And today, I'm leaving.

When he left Poland I was a bit down, but knew I would be seeing him in a few days. I had lots of stuff to prepare for the journey, so my days were busy and filled with other people. I didn't have time to be "properly" crushed about him not being next to me. These few days passed and voila, there he was again, next to me, another two amazing weeks. But this time I'm leaving and he's staying alone in his room while I'm going back to my (now empty) apartment. Plan is to see each other December/January, and on one hand I'm like: "Pff, four/five months? EASY", but on the other, well, it's worse. I guess when you finally meet your SO and most of your doubts are not there anymore, your relationship becomes stronger, right? This is how I feel, partially. Because on the other hand going back to living alone feels like taking a huge step back.

I know we'll be fine (what other choice do we have? :-)), but it still pains me to go. I already know what I need to do: focus on myself, have a life on my own, too, in PL, and stop worrying too much. Well, easier said than done.

Here's to not bawling my eyes out at the airport! Once again, I want to thank all of you for the support.

[Teacherfairy]

I really enjoyed reading your last post. It's so nice to hear a success story. Try to stay positive. It sounds like you're both heading in the right direction and the time you've spent together has helped you to become closer. I hope it continues 😃

[C.C.]

Wheee such a great news, glad everything worked out so well

It made me excited for my own first meeting next year
I am super afraid myself that when I finally get to meet my SO, going back to distance will be much worse than it is now. But you are right about not having any other choice and also, it's so worth it, right?~

Best of luck in upcoming life and relationship challenges, stay strong :3

[Katy_G]

Happy to hear how well it worked out. Best of luck!

[Elizabeth123]

It's wonderful to know you and your SO are doing well! Best wishes to you both

[Telephone]

So I feel like I'm coming here on a rollercoaster. One time it's all good and nice, and the other? Well.

The visit has ended months ago and right away, we've started planning another one - we were on a roll, after all! - for him to come to me for Christmas. It's an important time for me, seeing as all my celebrations are on Christmas (nameday, birthday, and, well.. Christmas! ), plus it just felt amazing to think he'd be here with me/us (meaning my family, and they liked him a lot so far), and it'll be a lovely way to make this relationship grow stronger..

Well, he isn't coming.

Christmas is right around the corner and I couldn't feel worse. I'm trying my best to enjoy myself, but I am so bitter it's impossible - or at least feels that way right now.

I only learned about him not coming less than two weeks ago, I think. Earlier than that, he'd say he's coming and that he's waiting to buy the tickets for a better price (I suppose part of me already knew he wasn't coming then - I've heard that "waiting to buy the tickets" in 2015 already). I kinda decided not to push the matter, also because I never thought he'd pull this one again.. Yet he did. The reason he's not coming is simple: he had a thing that needed to be taken care of, but he's known about it for ages. Due to anxiety and fear of rejection, he kept procrastinating. I didn't push too hard, either (my mistake, perhaps). Long story short, December comes and he realizes he simply doesn't have time to come to me, because he needs to work on that project which's been bugging him for ages (and by ages I mean months, if not a full year). Due date is early into 2017 and it's a lot of work.

And I want(ed) to be supportive. I really, really do. I managed to play it off for a few days and hopefully got him a boost he needed. Things seem to be going well with the project (at least I hope so, but I'm not going to go out of my way to check it - he should care about this more than I should, right now). But right now, things are horrible. I am so insanely bitter and hurt and angry I can't talk to him normally anymore. Yet, I miss him when we don't talk. I can't stand him tell me he loves me or that he wants to be with me. I find it ridiculous right now. And, frankly, hard to believe.

When I flew to him, I had to battle a ton of my own anxiety - 90% of the stuff that I did, including travelling alone on a plane (with certain fears that kept me terrified throughout), wasn't easy. But I did it. Never in a million years had I thought I ever would do these things, but they happened because I wanted to be with him. He, being fully aware we had plans for four months, let his fears keep him away. And I know - trust me - how crippling anxiety can be.. But somehow, it doesn't make anything better right now.

I have no idea what to do. I struggle so much with self-worth and this has been a crushing experience. The end of the year is always a bit heavier on me, mentally-wise, and this was supposed to be the fun part. My mistake for putting it all onto one event, but that's how I roll - hopefully I will get rid of that some day. Either way, I have no idea how to feel and approach all of this. Or what to do next. I find it laughable when he tells me that "once he's done with the project, we'll sit down and make concrete plans about the future". I don't feel like making ANY plans with him right now, let alone ones about moving half across the world to live with him in a new country (FYI, we've been having this plan to move in together in late 2018/early 2019). I don't want to do anything like that if I can't be, at leats at the time, 100% sure he won't up and leave due to something (and not talking about some critical situations).\

I simply wish 2016 would be over.

[Chris516]

So I feel like I'm coming here on a rollercoaster. One time it's all good and nice, and the other? Well.

The visit has ended months ago and right away, we've started planning another one - we were on a roll, after all! - for him to come to me for Christmas. It's an important time for me, seeing as all my celebrations are on Christmas (nameday, birthday, and, well.. Christmas! ), plus it just felt amazing to think he'd be here with me/us (meaning my family, and they liked him a lot so far), and it'll be a lovely way to make this relationship grow stronger..

Well, he isn't coming.

Christmas is right around the corner and I couldn't feel worse. I'm trying my best to enjoy myself, but I am so bitter it's impossible - or at least feels that way right now.

I only learned about him not coming less than two weeks ago, I think. Earlier than that, he'd say he's coming and that he's waiting to buy the tickets for a better price (I suppose part of me already knew he wasn't coming then - I've heard that "waiting to buy the tickets" in 2015 already). I kinda decided not to push the matter, also because I never thought he'd pull this one again.. Yet he did. The reason he's not coming is simple: he had a thing that needed to be taken care of, but he's known about it for ages. Due to anxiety and fear of rejection, he kept procrastinating. I didn't push too hard, either (my mistake, perhaps). Long story short, December comes and he realizes he simply doesn't have time to come to me, because he needs to work on that project which's been bugging him for ages (and by ages I mean months, if not a full year). Due date is early into 2017 and it's a lot of work.

And I want(ed) to be supportive. I really, really do. I managed to play it off for a few days and hopefully got him a boost he needed. Things seem to be going well with the project (at least I hope so, but I'm not going to go out of my way to check it - he should care about this more than I should, right now). But right now, things are horrible. I am so insanely bitter and hurt and angry I can't talk to him normally anymore. Yet, I miss him when we don't talk. I can't stand him tell me he loves me or that he wants to be with me. I find it ridiculous right now. And, frankly, hard to believe.

When I flew to him, I had to battle a ton of my own anxiety - 90% of the stuff that I did, including travelling alone on a plane (with certain fears that kept me terrified throughout), wasn't easy. But I did it. Never in a million years had I thought I ever would do these things, but they happened because I wanted to be with him. He, being fully aware we had plans for four months, let his fears keep him away. And I know - trust me - how crippling anxiety can be.. But somehow, it doesn't make anything better right now.

I have no idea what to do. I struggle so much with self-worth and this has been a crushing experience. The end of the year is always a bit heavier on me, mentally-wise, and this was supposed to be the fun part. My mistake for putting it all onto one event, but that's how I roll - hopefully I will get rid of that some day. Either way, I have no idea how to feel and approach all of this. Or what to do next. I find it laughable when he tells me that "once he's done with the project, we'll sit down and make concrete plans about the future". I don't feel like making ANY plans with him right now, let alone ones about moving half across the world to live with him in a new country (FYI, we've been having this plan to move in together in late 2018/early 2019). I don't want to do anything like that if I can't be, at leats at the time, 100% sure he won't up and leave due to something (and not talking about some critical situations).\

I simply wish 2016 would be over.

I browsed all your posts in this thread. Your s/o, sounds a lot like, my (ex)s/o. My (ex)s/o who has OCD. Kept coming up with reasons why she would not open the Christmas or birthday gifts I sent her. Her reason was that she wanted to open them in front of me. Then I would get there, and she would come up with another excuse for not opening them. In 2012, there was a medical conference in the county I live in. She said she would come out here for the medical conference, she never came out here.

[Honour]

I browsed all your posts in this thread. Your s/o, sounds a lot like, my (ex)s/o. My (ex)s/o who has OCD. Kept coming up with reasons why she would not open the Christmas or birthday gifts I sent her. Her reason was that she wanted to open them in front of me. Then I would get there, and she would come up with another excuse for not opening them. In 2012, there was a medical conference in the county I live in. She said she would come out here for the medical conference, she never came out here.

Chris, why is it nearly every. single. one of your posts is about your exes? Your exes aren't everywhere you know!! Time to stop seeing them everywhere for your own sake I think...

To Telephone: I'm sorry you've experienced such disappointment. My SO and I were supposed to meet earlier in the year, but couldn't because of RL circumstances. We're planning for him to come over next June/July, around the time I graduate, but I can't help but worry something will get in the way again, out of no faults of our own or something else entirely. Wishing you the best of luck for the new year.