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    Trusting

    Hello everyone, I'm new to this site. I decided to check it out because I'm in need of some support. I've met a man nearly 7 months ago now and we have been in an LDR since. He lives in Scotland and I'm in Washington.

    It has been rough going and at first I took all his words for truth. But as time passed and he didn't make it here like he said he would 3 times the trip has been put off. And I caught him in 3 lies to which he only admitted one when I broke it off.

    I'm so in love with this man and feel like my world is stuck in limbo. When he is not around I don't know what to do with myself. I need to know the truth but not sure how to get it. Not sure I can trust what he says is true anymore. Could really use some support.

    #2
    If he lies to you, it sounds wise to not trust him.
    I made love to him only twice, she thought and looked at the man laying asleep beside her. And yet still it is as if we have been together forever, as if he has always known my life, my soul, my body, my light, my pain
    - Paulo Coelho, "Eleven minutes"



    "Bız yüzyılın aşkı vardır" - We have dated since Sept. 2013. To see our full story, click here https://members.lovingfromadistance....and-our-visits

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      #3
      He didn't show up 3 times and you've caught him in multiple lies.

      You need to get your self respect back on track and realize you deserve honesty. Walk away. He is not the only man in the world and certainly not one worth wasting your time and heart on.
      To those who dream, nothing is ever far away.

      ​Distance is to love as wind is to fire. It blows out the little ones and fans the big ones.

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        #4
        But doesn't everybody lie sometimes? I'm not perfect and not sure a few small lies out weighs the good in our relationship

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          #5
          Originally posted by Enamorado610 View Post
          But doesn't everybody lie sometimes? I'm not perfect and not sure a few small lies out weighs the good in our relationship
          No, they don't. Especially not about such big things. There is a big difference if someone lies to say, hide a surprise party they have planned for you as compared to something that was apparently big enough for you to break it off.

          You are 34 years old. At this point, it's plain willful blindness to the situation and that makes it very hard to feel badly about your situation. That may sound harsh but you're an adult and should know better.
          To those who dream, nothing is ever far away.

          ​Distance is to love as wind is to fire. It blows out the little ones and fans the big ones.

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            #6
            I guess I sorta thought love conquers all. Took that to mean fight for it. Maybe I am a blind fool for thinking that.

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              #7
              Love conquers all in the movies. In real life, that's not true.

              Let me ask you this - why would you want to be with someone who lies to you? Someone who promises to come visit you but never shows? Someone who obviously is just leading you on? Someone who truly doesn't care about you? Are you not worth more than that?
              To those who dream, nothing is ever far away.

              ​Distance is to love as wind is to fire. It blows out the little ones and fans the big ones.

              Comment


                #8
                Relationships aren't just built on love alone! Communication and trust are both essential parts of it. If you're building purely on love you're building a house out of straw. I had to learn the hard way too, so don't feel bad.

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                  #9
                  My question to you is: can you trust a man who continually lies to you? It is extremely hard to have a relationship CD if you don't have much trust, but almost impossible to sustain a healthy relationship LD if you don't trust your partner.

                  Love does sometimes conquer all, but only if both people are truly committed to making it work no matter what. It sounds like it's only you in this, which would mean that it's pretty hard for love to conquer all in this situation.

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                    #10
                    Because I can't imagine not being with him. Sad but true. I love him

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                      #11
                      Also sad but true......how can you even be sure what love is with him if you have never even met in real life? Hate to say this, but sometimes you just don't click when you get together.
                      And who exactly are you in love with? A man that lies to you? How do you know who he really is? What is likes and dislikes really are? This person lies. Are you in love with a fantasy person?

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                        #12
                        I'm committed not sure about him because of the trust. I trust him but guess we can say depends on what with. He has been bending over backwards as well as I have to make sure we have time together everyday. We video chat anywhere from 30 mins to 4 hours a day depending on day. We text through out entire day. He goes to university and works and I'm a single mom and work full time. Just seems wrong to throw it all away because he couldn't come up with money to come out.

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                          #13
                          As for the lie maybe it was to keep from hurting my feels. I'm just trying to approach this from every angle instead of losing the one I'm absolutely sure is the one for me.

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                            #14
                            And thanks all for your input. It really does help and I'm sure I'll make the right choice at the end.

                            Comment


                              #15
                              Originally posted by Enamorado610 View Post
                              As for the lie maybe it was to keep from hurting my feels. I'm just trying to approach this from every angle instead of losing the one I'm absolutely sure is the one for me.
                              You said you caught him in 3 lies but he only admitted to one when his hand was forced. What was he lying about?
                              To those who dream, nothing is ever far away.

                              ​Distance is to love as wind is to fire. It blows out the little ones and fans the big ones.

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