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How do you deal with him always being "too busy"

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    #1

    How do you deal with him always being "too busy"

    I'm in college and therefore have been on winter break for the past few weeks and I'm kinda going crazy. I can't wait to go back to school, then again dreading it cause it's not something I like.
    Well lately it seems as if he's been too busy for me. Can't call/FaceTime/text whenever I want to like we used to. I know we really want to talk about it, but he just doesn't want it. It's driving me crazy!
    I text him...hour later...no response...text again...still no response...it doesn't help my anxiety at all...
    Basically where I am getting at is how do you guys keep from going crazy when your SO doesn't text you back?
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    #2
    Stay busy! I think in life in general, if you are bored and are not staying busy with school/work/hobbies/whatever, you will drive yourself crazy. In LDRs especially, you need to find a way to stay busy. Try not to take your SOs lack of responses too personally, he's probably keeping busy with life, too

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      #3
      Focus on other things. Other people in here have a huge time zone difference to deal with too.

      I'm back to work tomorrow after a 2 week break and SO will be back to working 50-60 hours a week. He finishes work at 5pm which is 11pm my time and I have to be up by 6am the next day. It's TOUGH. We will be be like ships passing in the night. It's very rare that we get to FaceTime or talk at all during the week, and sometimes he has to work weekend too. The only time we can really have a text conversation is if either of us wake up in the middle of the night.

      It's vital to keep busy, get out, see friends, go for a walk, anything. Sitting around at home waiting for him to text you back will drive you insane. It will make you needy and insecure and no body wants that in a partner.

      We all have our moments when the distance is unbearable, God knows I'm going through hell right now but you just have to pull up your big girl pants and deal with it. I'm a single parent, I have no choice but to be stuck inside every evening and I would do anything to have the option to get out of an evening, to go to the gym or go and see a friend. It's really important in relationships (LD especially) to rely on yourself for your happiness. The key is to keep busy and keep your local friendships alive.

      I appreciate where you're coming from that it doesn't help your anxiety, I have anxiety too and I had the biggest anxiety attack I've ever had last night. My SO was asleep at the time, it was a time we had scheduled for FaceTime and we had a fight a couple of days ago. I fought it but it got me. i think its because we have had a fair bit of communication over the holidays and we are about to go back into communication blackout and with no date set for our next visit, it's too much.

      You need to focus on the positive things. You see each other regularly, money is no issue with flights, you are in a very fortunate position. Don't lose sight of that, celebrate it and keep upbeat, otherwise you risk pushing your SO away.

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        #4
        I guess i'm in that position too when he tells me he'll call/FaceTime me later that night and then just doesn't... I know he's not bringing another girl around but it still just freaks me out and I blow up his phone. Our time difference is only 2 hours so it's not that bad... It's just frustrating when he tells me he'll text/call/FaceTime later but just ends up not doing it...

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          #5
          What's the reason that he doesn't do it? Is he working or catching up on sleep? It must be hard on his internal clock being a FA, he may be having to deal with irregular sleeping hours.

          Communication is key, it would be a good idea to express your needs and expectations, try not to jump to conclusions. I know my SO would never cheat on me, but he's a bartender and cute as hell, so when he is late texting me after his shift has finished (like this morning, it was 5am his time before I heard from him and he finishes at 3am) of course anxiety can bite and things run through my mind. But, I have to remember how he is with me and how he was when we were together.

          LDR are really hard work and you must have trust in each other otherwise it will fail. Blowing up his phone is never good, it will only push him away. Try not to be so available, do things on your own and keep busy. You be so much more attractive to him if you show confidence and independence.

          I'm not being harsh here, I know how hard it is, I have been there. Anxiety is a horrible thing to deal with in LDR and it can really ruin relationships if it's not kept in check. Hopefully once you're back at school you will have your studies to focus on and things won't seem so bad.

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            #6
            He's just "too busy"...hasn't worked in a while due to many issues (all legitimate), but it just bothers me that it's constant. We're supposed to talk soon about our so called "issues" so definitely something I will bring up.

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              #7
              Yes. There's no such thing as too busy. He should let you know if it's going to be difficult to talk, it only takes a second to send a text.

              When my SO is working the day shift he sends me a daily "from the sh*tter" text which is not at all romantic lol! But it's the only time he can get to check in and he always keeps in touch. He needs to make you more of a priority. There is always a way.

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                #8
                That's what i'm saying!!!!! LOL

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