Support From A Distance
Hi all,
I want to support my boyfriend better. His mother is sick, but unfortunately they don't have the money to take her to a specialist because no one seems to know what's wrong. His mother, who I have met, has been sick now since August. I always ask after his family as he does for me, but the only answer I get when I ask about his Mum is, yes she's still sick, yes he's spoken to her but no she still can't go to hospital to see a hospital to see a specialist because they can't afford it (they live in Tanzania, there is no support from the state or anyone.)
All I can say is, I'm sorry, I hope she gets better, I'm sorry you are hurting.
He feels like he is useless because he's not able to help her by paying for her treatment, neither can his brothers. He is also working away from home and can't see her to support her physically. Going home to be with her would just take away any potential income which could end up paying for hospital, but that's a long way off, he's an apprentice at the moment and basically working for bed/board.
His sister is helping their mother, but she has just had a baby, so it seems to be more that his mother is supporting his sister.
I don't know how to support him. I can't help financially. I can't tell him to go and help his mother because that doesn't work. I can't tell him his mother will find out what's wrong and get it sorted because we don't know. I also don't want to ignore the issue because we can't solve it, I don't want to stop asking, it's important and it's hurting him. I say that I am there for him if he needs me, but that doesn't take away any of his problems except if he wants to talk. I'm sorry just doesn't seem like enough.
Does anyone have any ideas of how I can be there for him?
Thank you all, Asante Sana
I want to support my boyfriend better. His mother is sick, but unfortunately they don't have the money to take her to a specialist because no one seems to know what's wrong. His mother, who I have met, has been sick now since August. I always ask after his family as he does for me, but the only answer I get when I ask about his Mum is, yes she's still sick, yes he's spoken to her but no she still can't go to hospital to see a hospital to see a specialist because they can't afford it (they live in Tanzania, there is no support from the state or anyone.)
All I can say is, I'm sorry, I hope she gets better, I'm sorry you are hurting.
He feels like he is useless because he's not able to help her by paying for her treatment, neither can his brothers. He is also working away from home and can't see her to support her physically. Going home to be with her would just take away any potential income which could end up paying for hospital, but that's a long way off, he's an apprentice at the moment and basically working for bed/board.
His sister is helping their mother, but she has just had a baby, so it seems to be more that his mother is supporting his sister.
I don't know how to support him. I can't help financially. I can't tell him to go and help his mother because that doesn't work. I can't tell him his mother will find out what's wrong and get it sorted because we don't know. I also don't want to ignore the issue because we can't solve it, I don't want to stop asking, it's important and it's hurting him. I say that I am there for him if he needs me, but that doesn't take away any of his problems except if he wants to talk. I'm sorry just doesn't seem like enough.
Does anyone have any ideas of how I can be there for him?
Thank you all, Asante Sana