He just doesn't understand...

[fltoaz]

I've been dealing with a lot in my life a lot lately and so has he...
Tonight he said he would call me and then all of a sudden he says i'm being buggy and all that...seriously?!?! I've been giving him his space...
He just doesn't understand that he's the one that I need to talk to and no one else...I've talked to my friends and my mom briefly but no one will truly solve my problem unless I talk to him.

[differentcountries]

The only one that can solve your problems is you.

[Mims27]

I agree with differentcountries here. You shouldn't have to depend solely on your SO when it comes to solving your problems. You should be able to do that on your own. Yes, you can talk to him about it, but it sounds like you can't figure things out unless you talk to him. It's a lot/not fair to put that on him and it sounds kind of needy, if you ask me. Only you can help you. Good luck.

[whatruckus]

If you need to rely on someone else to "fix" your problems with you, then you have a bigger problem than the temporary one you're dealing with right now. It's one thing to lean on them when you need them, and have them offer up some advice or just be there to vent, it's another thing if you want them to completely solve everything for you.

I do believe there is more to this story than what you have said. He can't just "all of sudden" say that you're being "buggy". Were you messaging him to call you? Messaging him about your problem, before he could call you?

Look, I used to be like you. I didn't think my SO could solve my problems, but I did think he was the only one I could talk to about them. Guess what? He got annoyed and overwhelmed because I literally went to him every time I had a problem. It's too much sometimes. I ended up making an account here, and then I met a bunch of awesome people. Now, I either message one of them, or I post here, when I have a problem. I don't solely rely on him. I even reach out and message my IRL friends now. I thought I was alone and my SO was the only person.

Honestly, thinking about it, even I would probably get burnt out if someone came to me every single time they had any type of problem, and I'm a listener. I love helping people and giving advice (duh, or I wouldn't be here). There are some people that come to me only when they have certain problems because they know I'll understand, that's totally fine. But, every single problem you ever have, every day? That's wayyyyyyyyyyy too much.

Start reaching out to other people. Or, go to different people who have been in similar situations that you are currently in. I doubt your SO knows how to solve every single problem you throw at him.

Also, I'm not sure what kind of person he is (for example, I like to help people and "fix"), but he might get frustrated that he can't help you all the time. You shouldn't put that kind of pressure on him all the time. Regardless if he's a "fixer" or not.

You need to rely on yourself a little more, or start reaching out more. Hell, post what your problem is on here in the "Life" sub-forum. Someone here will help you. Everyone on here has experienced so many different things, you're bound to find someone who was in your situation, or someone who knows what you could do.

Here's a link to the Random Forum section (aka "RambleOn!"). You can post about literally anything on there not directly related to your relationship.

[whatruckus]

Also, remembering your other threads, you seem to rely a little too heavily on your SO to fill up your time. I remember you said that when you text him, and he doesn't respond after about an hour, you text him again.

Again, I used to be like that, then my SO told me how annoying that was and then I took a step back and realized...yeah, that is pretty annoying. So, I started finding other things to do to fill up my time and, again, I joined here. Now, I'm used to not talking to my SO for hours and I'm used to not depending on him for everything. It actually feels pretty good.

[Unicorn26]

You said in another thread that if he doesn't reply to you, them your anxiety kicks in and you "blow up his phone"

I cannot see how you think that is giving him space.

I understand how you feel, I have anxiety too and at the minute it's really quite bad. I am avoiding too much contact with my SO at the moment, I've told him my anxiety is bad and i need a day or so to try and get it under control. Every time my SO says something nice to me or sends me a cute pic I burst into tears. I'm no fun to be around like that.

You need to get a grip of yourself here. You are pushing him away by being overbearing like this. You will lose him if you're not careful. Everyone has their limits. By all means speak to him and talk about your needs but try not to be too frantic all the time. Long distance is really tough, but you are in a fortunate position. Always remember that. Take a deep breath and focus your energy on something else.

[whatruckus]

You said in another thread that if he doesn't reply to you, them your anxiety kicks in and you "blow up his phone"

I cannot see how you think that is giving him space.

I understand how you feel, I have anxiety too and at the minute it's really quite bad. I am avoiding too much contact with my SO at the moment, I've told him my anxiety is bad and i need a day or so to try and get it under control. Every time my SO says something nice to me or sends me a cute pic I burst into tears. I'm no fun to be around like that.

You need to get a grip of yourself here. You are pushing him away by being overbearing like this. You will lose him if you're not careful. Everyone has their limits. By all means speak to him and talk about your needs but try not to be too frantic all the time. Long distance is really tough, but you are in a fortunate position. Always remember that. Take a deep breath and focus your energy on something else.

Right? I have really bad anxiety too, but I actually found it easier as time went on to not blow his phone up and annoy him. When I realized how annoying I was being, and how it bothered him, I cut back a lot. My SO even noticed it and appreciated it.

[Unicorn26]

I know I really need to talk to my SO. But, my anxiety is way too high at the minute. I will either scream at him or cry uncontrollably. It's so hard but I'm keeping a bit of distance for a day or so. It's subsiding a little now, but I'm still not there.

Hopefully in a day or so I will be able to think rationally and calmly again. Until then, I'm hanging around here and spending time with my kids and dogs.

[whatruckus]

I know I really need to talk to my SO. But, my anxiety is way too high at the minute. I will either scream at him or cry uncontrollably. It's so hard but I'm keeping a bit of distance for a day or so. It's subsiding a little now, but I'm still not there.

Hopefully in a day or so I will be able to think rationally and calmly again. Until then, I'm hanging around here and spending time with my kids and dogs.

That's really the best thing you can do until you're in the right state of mind. I know how that is.

[fltoaz]

I guess I shouldn't have said my problem, but more so our problems? We've been kinda meh lately because of everything going on and him not making time. He called me this morning and we've kinda worked things out for now. He did say that he would continue to be busy for a while with everything going on and that he will get better at talking to me and all that goodness. Once everything is settled down we will be back to normal lol...umm

[fltoaz]

Well yea blowing up his phone is obviously not a good idea. I have tried to keep it cool somewhat and not do it as much. I guess after our talk that we finally got to have! I have been giving him his space and allowing for him to text me back when he's available.