Is it just me?

[Loveyoumore]

Does anyone else ever feel like thier past relationships cause them to feel insecure & doubt their current relationship?

I have been with my SO for 7 months on the 12th & I guess i'm just having some issues relaxing and letting go of things from past relationship mistakes. I just feel like the things from my past relationships creep into my mind and make me freak out go to worse case senario. I try hard to have faith in my relationship & partner, my past relationships just keeping getting the best of me it seems. My SO has'nt done anything for me to doubt him or not trust him period. How do you relax and just enjoy your relationship with out the past getting the best of you?

I would just really appreciate some advice. Thanks in Advance.

[R&R]

It's something you have to work on and learn to get beyond. A sure way to have a relationship end is to "punish" your current SO for the actions of people from your past.

Get a journal. When you start to feel these things, write it out. When you're done writing how you are feeling, read it again, pick it apart and write down why this has nothing to do with your current SO and why it is being irrational to feel this way. Sometimes having it black and white in front of you and being able to really think it through and figure it out will help you to start making it easier to brush of these feelings when they try to pop up.

[TheSteelAngel]

Yes, yes, and yes haha. Of course my past relationships cause some problems in our relationship. Actually in my case it's not necessarily past intimate relationships I've had, but relationships with best friends that are the source of my insecurities. I was a victim of bullying once upon a time, and my perpetrators were my own "best friends" at the time. They totally used me and betrayed me multiple times and these feeling of betrayal have never gone away. The worst thing they did to me though was ignoring me completely and they eventually got the whole class to do it too. It felt like I didn't exist, and I told my SO that this is the worst thing he could do to me. Yet he constantly ignores my texts which obviously causes fights between us.

Anyway the things I do to smooth things out is to just simply talking to him about it. He's getting better at answering me back now and I feel we've finally made some progress. Since your SO hasn't done anything to make you not trust him then I don't see why you shouldn't just trust him. If you ever feel like there's something bothering you in your relationship you should talk about it with your partner. That's what they're there for.

[Loveyoumore]

Thanks for y'alls help. I really appreciate it.
We talked about it and we both agree I just really need to try & relax as much as possible & just leave the past in the past. I feel relieved after talking with him. I just needed to know i'm not alone in my thinking amongst people here who understand. I guess some times the distance and the unknown can get the best of us all at times.

[staruletto]

All I've been doing is giving it time and watching him prove my negative thoughts wrong time and time again. I've never been so happy to be wrong.