Hi everyone, I'm pretty new to these forums. It's something I've decided to give a chance. I assume that there's no safer place to vent than here. We're all going through similar things.
My significant other lives in LA. Lately things have been pretty rocky. Petty arguments, disagreements, unhappy families etc. Things have never been worse honestly and I'm not proud to say that at all.
It took a turn for the worse around the holidays. My gf and I were planning for her to visit me but we didn't make any moves yet. It was a plan we were setting in motion. I know traveling is a big deal and her parents would want to know, so I told her to make sure she consults with her parents before making any visit official. She told me she did and we're all set. About a week later I get a text from her dad saying "looks like this holiday season is gonna be lousy."
Her dad and I continued to text because I wanted to know his perspective because after all she told me they were cool with the visit. Her dad clearly was not though. Later I find out neither is the mom. So at that point I'm pretty confused. A little later I end up finding out that her parents called my parents and told them that they found a letter buried in her trash. Apparently my gf was planning on sending me a gift with a romantic letter on the side. For whatever reason my gf thought it was wise to put EVERYTHING on the letter. Including the fact that we've had sex.
So her mom found it and clearly was unhappy because they're very old school and the thought of their daughter losing her V before marriage is unacceptable. I'm no parent but I can understand that won't make them happy. That turned out to be the main reason they didn't want her visiting.
The part that really angers/ saddens me is all the stuff they were saying about me. They began to tell her I'm probably cheating the whole time, I'm in it for sex, she can find a better boy, that they'd attack me if they saw me. Yes I get it. No parent can handle their baby growing up but you don't disrespect that way. I made sure to maintain a solid bond with them and they just spit on it cause of sex.
So after all this I began to feel stuck. I still do. They threatened her and told her if she stays with me they'll kick her out. I think they can be very vindictive and immature.
I didn't want my gf stuck in between but unfortunately it's to a point where she basically has to choose between her current situation or being physically closer to me because I can't take this. I felt like in her own way because she didn't put her foot down, that she's choosing them. She denies it. I know we're young and not ready to get a house together or anything but at the very least she should transfer to a university where we can be closer. She even agreed on that but always seems iffy.
I basically broke it off with her out of the madness of her parents. I'm still in love with her but I feel stuck. I don't want to be that bf hated by the family with dirt thrown on me especially from a distance like if we were closer it'd be way more worth the suffering , but I don't want to lose her. It's only been 3 days and I miss her terribly. Really can't picture life without her. Any advice on if and how we can have a successful fresh start? Sorry for the length.
My significant other lives in LA. Lately things have been pretty rocky. Petty arguments, disagreements, unhappy families etc. Things have never been worse honestly and I'm not proud to say that at all.
It took a turn for the worse around the holidays. My gf and I were planning for her to visit me but we didn't make any moves yet. It was a plan we were setting in motion. I know traveling is a big deal and her parents would want to know, so I told her to make sure she consults with her parents before making any visit official. She told me she did and we're all set. About a week later I get a text from her dad saying "looks like this holiday season is gonna be lousy."
Her dad and I continued to text because I wanted to know his perspective because after all she told me they were cool with the visit. Her dad clearly was not though. Later I find out neither is the mom. So at that point I'm pretty confused. A little later I end up finding out that her parents called my parents and told them that they found a letter buried in her trash. Apparently my gf was planning on sending me a gift with a romantic letter on the side. For whatever reason my gf thought it was wise to put EVERYTHING on the letter. Including the fact that we've had sex.
So her mom found it and clearly was unhappy because they're very old school and the thought of their daughter losing her V before marriage is unacceptable. I'm no parent but I can understand that won't make them happy. That turned out to be the main reason they didn't want her visiting.
The part that really angers/ saddens me is all the stuff they were saying about me. They began to tell her I'm probably cheating the whole time, I'm in it for sex, she can find a better boy, that they'd attack me if they saw me. Yes I get it. No parent can handle their baby growing up but you don't disrespect that way. I made sure to maintain a solid bond with them and they just spit on it cause of sex.
So after all this I began to feel stuck. I still do. They threatened her and told her if she stays with me they'll kick her out. I think they can be very vindictive and immature.
I didn't want my gf stuck in between but unfortunately it's to a point where she basically has to choose between her current situation or being physically closer to me because I can't take this. I felt like in her own way because she didn't put her foot down, that she's choosing them. She denies it. I know we're young and not ready to get a house together or anything but at the very least she should transfer to a university where we can be closer. She even agreed on that but always seems iffy.
I basically broke it off with her out of the madness of her parents. I'm still in love with her but I feel stuck. I don't want to be that bf hated by the family with dirt thrown on me especially from a distance like if we were closer it'd be way more worth the suffering , but I don't want to lose her. It's only been 3 days and I miss her terribly. Really can't picture life without her. Any advice on if and how we can have a successful fresh start? Sorry for the length.
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