Worried about us

[Americanooo]

My boyfriend and I have known each other for roughly 5 years now. He moved to a different country a few years ago and is moving back in 2 years. A few months ago we became really close; talking every single day and eventually became best friends. We started dating soon after (neither of us have been in an LDR before) and it literally has been the most perfect relationship I've ever had. We're always affectionate and telling each other we want to spend our lives together and that we're in love. We fit together so well, we tell each other everything and we're such a great team.

Sometimes I would tell him that I'm having doubts about if we will last because of the distance. He would always reassure me telling me to never think like that because we will work. That we will make it work. That it's worth the wait. So I stopped worrying and believed.

Recently, he's been so stressed about school and his health. And it's been getting a little worse each day. Despite the stress, we still were going amazingly well. I always helped and supported him. But a day ago he suddenly told me he just can't do the long distance anymore because it hurts. It hurts not being able to express his emotions properly. I was so surprised. I'm so confused and hurt because he was the one who believed in us with all his heart. How could it have changed so quickly? How could he go from planning out our future every other day to saying he can't do it anymore? We saw each other for the first time in years 15 days ago when I drove to the airport to catch him during his layover and it was absolutely amazing and full of affection. He couldn't stop talking about it. So how could this happen so quickly? I don't know what to do. I don't want to lose him. I want to be with him. I want him to realize that we won't be long distance forever and it's worth it. I need advice. What should I do?

[Redheart14]

I think you both need to sit down and talk this out. LDR's are hard and aren't for everyone. Have an open and honest conversation and address how you both are feeling. See if there are ways to combat this or if it's just too much. Communication is crucial. Best of luck.

[Honour]

Ill health makes an LDR all the harder. Without knowing specifics, has he been to the doctors? Has he got any medication for it? See if there's other ways, more natural means, to help him. Yoga, relaxation techniques, etc. Stress and ill health are probably making him feel like this, so stay supportive, don't let doubt cloud your mind, communicate with each other.

[R&R]

LDR's are not usually easy. It sounds like he has a lot of other things that he needs to focus on. You're only 16 - no need to worry now about being in a serious commitment or life decisions. Right now, you can be there as his friend. As you both grow and mature, maybe a relationship will be in your future; especially knowing he'll be moving back your way in a couple of years. Right now, he needs to be focusing on his health and school.

[Americanooo]

Thank you so much, I asked him if we could really talk this out and he said okay. Just going to try to show him I care for him and I love him and that I'm here for him.

[Americanooo]

Ill health makes an LDR all the harder. Without knowing specifics, has he been to the doctors? Has he got any medication for it? See if there's other ways, more natural means, to help him. Yoga, relaxation techniques, etc. Stress and ill health are probably making him feel like this, so stay supportive, don't let doubt cloud your mind, communicate with each other.

Thank you. Yes, he's been to the doctor and has told me he got a prescription. If he has an episode where his stress is unbearable I'll really try to urge him to do some relaxation techniques like you said. Yeah, I understand. I'm probably being so selfish but I can't help it. I just don't want to lose him.

[Americanooo]

LDR's are not usually easy. It sounds like he has a lot of other things that he needs to focus on. You're only 16 - no need to worry now about being in a serious commitment or life decisions. Right now, you can be there as his friend. As you both grow and mature, maybe a relationship will be in your future; especially knowing he'll be moving back your way in a couple of years. Right now, he needs to be focusing on his health and school.

Yes, I understand. I realize I am being very selfish. It's hard to help feeling this way when I'm so used to having the same kind of love and affection each day. I know I'm young, but I do feel like he is someone that I want in my life forever because of the connection we have. I'll try my best to be there for him at this time and put his needs before mine. Thank you for your advice!