I am need of some good advice on my 1 year and a half LDR relationship. This is my first LDR ever. A little background on my bf and I. We are both 28 and live 7 hours away from each other (Kind of). My boyfriend is currently working away from the town that I live in. Originally he is from the same town that I am from and his parents live not to far from me. When we met he was working 7 hours away and still living at his parents when he would come back home. At the beginning of our relationship he talked about wanting to buy a home eventually back in the same area where we are from and move his stuff and himself out of his parents. Fast forward to 1 1/2 year later and he is still working away, we see each other maybe 3 times a month and spend 3-4 days together each time. When he comes home we either spend time in my tiny apartment or at his parents. We have looked at some homes together but there doesn't seem to be much in the area, and we want to stay close to where I live.
I am at the point in our relationship where I want it to move forward. I know he will not be returning back to the area for at least another year or so. We have talked about where our relationship stands and we have both agreed that we are not wasting each others time and that we do want this to lead to marriage and kids one day. We have talked about getting engaged and he wants us to get a home first and then get engaged. I personally do not like this idea. I would really want a ring first before making a huge commitment of buying a home with someone (Ive had bad past experiences with exes where we jumped into getting things together too soon to then end up with no commitment and broken up). The problem is lately he doesn't seem to be "in a hurry" (his words) to buy a home now. He says something will come up eventually and that he isn't in a hurry to jump into a home that he wont be happy with (which I completely understand).
(Currently when he comes home, I am getting a little irritated of almost always having his parents around when we spend time together at their place, I feel like we should have our own place even if it means me living alone until he is done working away. He would have his own home to come back to on weekends, and we wouldn't have to have his parents around all the time)
My thought is what do I do? Do I keep waiting for him to decide when or what home to buy? Do I keep going with this relationship when (in my eyes) I feel like we aren't "moving forward"? I don't want to be selfish but I have been in previous relationships where I waited 4+ years, gave my everything to them, just to end up with no ring, no marriage, no nothing. Am I being selfish for wanting more of a commitment (a ring) to feel there is reason for me to wait? I feel like I have found the one for me, but at 28 I just feel like I don't want to waste anymore time. I want to have kids and I know my biological clock is ticking too! He has told me before very genuinely that if he didn't see himself marrying me or being the mother of his children he wouldn't be with me. So what is he waiting for! Help!
I am at the point in our relationship where I want it to move forward. I know he will not be returning back to the area for at least another year or so. We have talked about where our relationship stands and we have both agreed that we are not wasting each others time and that we do want this to lead to marriage and kids one day. We have talked about getting engaged and he wants us to get a home first and then get engaged. I personally do not like this idea. I would really want a ring first before making a huge commitment of buying a home with someone (Ive had bad past experiences with exes where we jumped into getting things together too soon to then end up with no commitment and broken up). The problem is lately he doesn't seem to be "in a hurry" (his words) to buy a home now. He says something will come up eventually and that he isn't in a hurry to jump into a home that he wont be happy with (which I completely understand).
(Currently when he comes home, I am getting a little irritated of almost always having his parents around when we spend time together at their place, I feel like we should have our own place even if it means me living alone until he is done working away. He would have his own home to come back to on weekends, and we wouldn't have to have his parents around all the time)
My thought is what do I do? Do I keep waiting for him to decide when or what home to buy? Do I keep going with this relationship when (in my eyes) I feel like we aren't "moving forward"? I don't want to be selfish but I have been in previous relationships where I waited 4+ years, gave my everything to them, just to end up with no ring, no marriage, no nothing. Am I being selfish for wanting more of a commitment (a ring) to feel there is reason for me to wait? I feel like I have found the one for me, but at 28 I just feel like I don't want to waste anymore time. I want to have kids and I know my biological clock is ticking too! He has told me before very genuinely that if he didn't see himself marrying me or being the mother of his children he wouldn't be with me. So what is he waiting for! Help!
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