Always feels like a countdown

[strawberries-and-cakes]

I spent the entire winter vacation with my boyfriend, and afterwards, he came to visit me in the States for three weeks, and knowing that he's leaving soon, I can't help but feel sad. Is it just me, or does everyone experience this feeling that even though you spend every single day you have with him with joy, you can't help but think that it's also a countdown till the day he leaves? For instance, I'd randomly get sad knowing that I have one day less of spending time with him, and knowing it's a countdown till he leaves gets me emotional again.
He's going to the military in Korea, and I'll be visiting him in a month or two only for a couple hours to send him off, and after that, we'll be spending the summer vacation together, but do you think this is normal? Also, during his training for five weeks, I wont be able to talk to him or contact me at all which really crushes me... How do I keep myself optimistic, and less sad when he actually leaves? And to stop myself from feeling sad from this countdown?

Thank you so much, love you all.

[MissingMyDutchLove]

I think the whole countdown mentality is normal because of the situation. I find myself counting down until we're together only to start the countdown for when we will have to leave again and back to the counting down until we're together. I have found that the more I focus on "300 more days until I see him" and marking each day makes it significantly harder to focus on my every day. My mind is always 300 days from not, not now. The biggest thing that being in a LDR has taught me was to live in the moment. I sure as hell am not good at it, but I continually remind myself to live in today and not 300 days from now when we'll be together. Likewise, when we are together I try my hardest to be in the moment of whatever it is we're doing and not to let my mind wander too much to that dark place of "he'll be leaving soon". To me, it's a little bit a "mind over matter" thing because you can either dwell on the countdown or you can pretend that it's not there.

[snow_girl]

I like countdowns it gives me something to look forward to

[SailorRei]

I feel like living in the moment is really hard- your mind is always ahead, making plans and scenarios about how amazing it will be to be together again. For me, when we started LDR I was so distracted I had hard time at Uni. Things got better, since I got used to the distance, but there is never ending countdown and planning- till we can see each other, till we might close the distance and so on.

Marking the dates is both awesome and terrible- terrible when you start off with 100day, and when you are at 25 days and know that there is nothing you can do to make it go faster. And awesome, since you can look back and see how quickly those 100days passed by...

And you are not alone OP, I got sad a lot when he was visiting me and I knew we have only week left..

[Honour]

That's the thing with LDRs... countdowns and patience (or if you're impatient like me then I found it's a case of grumbling to yourself and trying to be patient, but that's just my personal opinion :P).

[differentcountries]

It comes with the terretory... Your time together is limited and there is always the counting down to things sad or joyful. I have not had more than 80 days countdowns, it still sucks having to be apart and internationally having to fix the things with visas and what not. It sounds difficult to not be able to be in contact at all, but your know it is for a reason and for a limited time only, so as long as you have something to do it should be possible to get through it. Perhaps you can write him a journal that you will give to him when he can conact you, or send him an e-mail every day so that he get's a month of e-mails, or even just a one line message on the phone every day...it will give you something to do, and it will be sweet for him to come out of hard training seeing all the proof that you thought of him.

[TaraMarie]

Wes re together every weekend, from Friday night through Monday morning, and I STILL countdown. I can't sleep the last night because I am counting down the hours until he leaves. I went to NY this past weekend....even went s day early because of the snow, and got stuck an extra day because of the snow (yay), and I didn't sleep at all last night because I was counting the hours until I had to leave the morning. It's been years, and I am still doing it. Tonight I was counting the number of nights I have to sleep alone until he comes back home Friday. I HATE THIS! I feel like I am nuts sometimes. Glad I am not alone!

[R&R]

Wes re together every weekend, from Friday night through Monday morning, and I STILL countdown. I can't sleep the last night because I am counting down the hours until he leaves. I went to NY this past weekend....even went s day early because of the snow, and got stuck an extra day because of the snow (yay), and I didn't sleep at all last night because I was counting the hours until I had to leave the morning. It's been years, and I am still doing it. Tonight I was counting the number of nights I have to sleep alone until he comes back home Friday. I HATE THIS! I feel like I am nuts sometimes. Glad I am not alone!

See, to me, your relationship would be the ideal situation! I'd get to see him every weekend and the holidays but still plenty of time during the week for myself. I am so nervous to go back to the every day thing again. Luckily, he works a lot so it may seem like this even when we are living together.

To the OP, yes I do the countdown thing when I'm visiting him too. Usually it starts the last few days before I leave. I can't believe how fast the time has gone and then really just try to concentrate on our time together those last few days.

[Ella85]

It's got harder as time goes on. Although honestly in July just before I flew out for the summer there were a few weeks there I cried every day because being apart got all too much. I just needed him then not in 2 weeks. That last week I numbed it out and then it was time to go. The gap between Christmas wasn't as hard, I kept telling myself it was only 3 months. But this time I've been back nearly 3 weeks and I feel like crap. I can't sleep right and I just want to go back home to him. He is visiting in March and then we are closing the distance in July, but I wish I could do it sooner. I wasn't built for LDRs because I am a very emotional and physical person, but I love him so much and I do it because I know our love is strong enough. I am constantly counting down until I can see him again. The last week at Christmas I was better, I blocked it out mostly unless he couldn't and then it got hard. I just felt like 'I'm still here, I can't be sad because I am still here' and then at the end I just cried when he left the airport.

It feels like you are living in the future when your apart and constantly clinging to the present when you are together. I can't wait until I can just live my life day by day knowing I don't have to say good bye anymore.

[staruletto]

Posting to relate; I've been counting down to a 1st visit for 8 months about now and I still have 17 weeks to go and lately I just feel like I need something to break up the monotony of day to day life. I was thinking about flying to NYC to see my best friend but I should save that money for the trip ahead. My boyfriend linked a vsauce video to me called "our narrow slice"; it really puts things into perspective. It's his way of telling me these last few weeks are no time at all. At least, I think. I may be reading into it too much.