Pregnancy...and the never ending baby fever

[fltoaz]

Probably posting in the wrong forum, but oh well...
Any who pregnancy is a topic that has come up many times in our relationship, so it's not totally new to us. Recently it's been on my mind a lot though because I really want to have kids with him. I don't know why I feel like he's the one, but I have this strong feeling and extreme baby fever whenever I see him and he knows that. I know now isn't the right time to raise a kid together because of the distance. I am on the pill to prevent it, but right now I have this gut feeling that I am, but I know i'm not for the fact that i'm on the the pill and aunt flo has come to visit lol. I still always have this feeling though that I want to have kids with him so bad...
How do I make this feeling go away? I'm sure a few of you have gone through this...

[hmrambling]

I'm not able to have a child. My SO is a teacher and I think she would be really good with kids. I've been thinking about asking her again if she would be interested in adopting or something. I'd love to see her be a mother. I don't think she wants to be a mother, though.

[fltoaz]

I think that would be cool! I know for a fact that he's capable of having kids...me on the other hand haven't tried yet, but no fertility issues in the family. The only thing stopping us is distance.

[differentcountries]

I would love to have a kid. I know actually several people who had children across the distance and where the kids became a very real reason close than distance. Also, I just turned 36 so I don't feel I can be very picky about the timing. I need to have kids within the next years or forget about it. I had baby fever before meeting SO, and - I cant believe how girly I am about this - I have thought about names, I would want to name a kid after his late sister or father.

SO loves kids but he is not sure he wants his own. But he has talked about how he would like to see me pregnant. We are in a bit of a special situation because we live poly and I live most of the time with my husband. he husband and I planned kids long time ago, our plans got postphoned due to my sick leave. We bought a bigger flat last year, with a baby in mind. And when I look to work more, one of the biggest reasons I do it is so there will money for a baby. I can choose either of them as the dad. But however we do it, SO will be involved. We will have to have a talk about it very soon.

I don't know how to make that feeling go away. I engage in other peoples' kids, I guess. And animals. SO and I keep cats and I toy with the idea of getting a dog with my husband. I work out. I focus on work and my friends and my mum's recovery and planning visits to SO. I wish that feeling could go away, sometimes I get almost sick from knowing that I prevent myself from getting pregnant. I was supposed to get hired steadily at work in the fall, we are waiting these days on some money answers which will hopefully make them hire me. Or I can get some other job. And as soon as I know I will not go bankrupt feeding the kid, I want to start. I already had the talk with husband and he is ready, and ready for SO to be a part of it. I dread talking to SO about it because he worries about money and the future. But my ovaries are not getting younger and SO and I already dated close to 2 1/2 years (and my husband and I 12 years).

[Honour]

My SO absolutely adores children. He's what I would honestly call "the ideal father," because he genuinely wants to have children, wants to care, nurture and protect, wants to experience all the wonders and dramas a family can bring. Despite his current job, if he had the chance (because he loves children so much) he would go into child protection services and work for them as a social worker!

Me, on the other hand... I really don't like children. I was bullied by children throughout my own childhood and early-mid teenage years. I'm a very quiet, private person who gets uncomfortable around kids in general. I really don't know how to handle/work with children. My mum says I'll be fine and that it's different when the child's your own, but I really don't know. My SO said he'd be willing to forgo children if I was adamant I didn't want children, but I told him I might warm up to the idea of it in the future. It's not a definite no, but it's not a certain yes either. The timing would have to be right, and I would have to feel 110% comfortable with it. I don't want my SO to resent me for if I said I didn't want kids. It's too early for either of us to do that yet, but it's a future prospect.

Compromise and communication is key on this delicate subject. Honesty, too.

[R&R]

Baby fever is an amazingly strong pull. I had always wanted kids and couldn't wait to be a mom but I also wanted to be responsible about it. I was 24 and 25 when my daughters were born. I was married, we had just bought a house and we each had really good jobs. We decided it was the right time in our lives to start a family as we had everything else in line and we wanted to have children earlier (rather than in our 30's) so we would still be "young" by the time they graduated high school.....and to be able to keep up with them LOL.

One of the surest ways to put a damper on the baby fever is to take care of friends children. I don't mean a couple hours here or there of for an afternoon. I mean, you tell them to take a weekend away and you have those kids from Friday night until Sunday night. I highly suggest toddlers or colicky young ones. My niece is a special needs kid (she will be 19 on Thursday) and she is still non-verbal, is pretty much fully potty trained and requires someone with her at all times. If you have someone with a special needs child like that, spend a full weekend with them, offering to take full care of the child but still having the parents around if you need help. I'm not trying to be discouraging, but to put a bit of reality out there for you. When you have kids, your life changes forever and it will never go back to what it was. It is an amazing and wonderful thing to have children and be a parent, but it is also a full-time position that you can't just put in a two-week notice and leave. You give up a good portion of your life for your kids.

You are only 20. Enjoy the here and now. You won't ever get it back. The time will come for kids but don't rush it. Make sure you are as prepared as you can be (no one is ever fully prepared for kids lol) before making such a life changing step for you and creating a life that you are responsible for.

[MissingMyDutchLove]

I know how it feels. I have baby fever too which only keeps getting worse as people I have grown up with begin to get pregnant (most of them accidentally at this point). I've always wanted to be a mother so bad, but more than that I want to be with my SO permanently and truly begin my life with him. So that's how I try to get past my baby fever. One day we will, but right now the focus is on closing the distance, marriage, and traveling. Eventually, it'll be babies babies babies for me though! I hope he's ready!

[kittyxuchiha11]

I always knew i wanted kids like I always said i would adopt because it's something good to do and you don't actually have to be pregnant and stuff, then when i was about 16 this thing just sort of happened where i really really wanted to have a baby. quite a lot of my friends have had children already which really doesn't help the matter, and i was told that what i'm feeling with the whole baby fever thing is just a phase and it will pass and it's all down to hormones while i'm growing up. I'm still crazy over kids to the point where i was watching the family i follow on youtube and i started crying at a video of their daughter making animal noises ha. i'm 19 now and the whole really wanting a kid and generally wanting to be pregnant won't go away and i'm sort of wishing it would >.< At least it's all good with my SO, she doesn't really care for having children but we've talked about it and she's fine with it and quite likes the idea of having a child as long as she doesn't have to actually carry it which is fair enough. she basically just said sure lets raise a kid together but you're birthing it i don't wanna do that nope lol.

[differentcountries]

One of the surest ways to put a damper on the baby fever is to take care of friends children. I don't mean a couple hours here or there of for an afternoon. I mean, you tell them to take a weekend away and you have those kids from Friday night until Sunday night. I highly suggest toddlers or colicky young ones.

I did that. It did not help, I was so sad to live that little rascel back to his parents even if he cried half the time.

[fltoaz]

Yes!!!!! I see so many people who may or may not be usually the latter getting pregnant or have kids and I just get soon jealous of them.

I know how it feels. I have baby fever too which only keeps getting worse as people I have grown up with begin to get pregnant (most of them accidentally at this point). I've always wanted to be a mother so bad, but more than that I want to be with my SO permanently and truly begin my life with him. So that's how I try to get past my baby fever. One day we will, but right now the focus is on closing the distance, marriage, and traveling. Eventually, it'll be babies babies babies for me though! I hope he's ready!

[snow]

My sister in law has a daughter and is currently pregnant with her second daughter. I'm not gonna lie, it makes me sad and envious, because I really, really would like to start trying to conceive, but babies are expensive and we need money. We're good at saving and I know at some point we'll decide to drop the pill and TTC, but right now, all I can do is stay positive and hope for a bunch of little ones later in life

I'm currently working with 2-year-olds and they are a handful.. so.much.work.so.much.crying... but at the same time, I learn a lot of things I hope not to do with my kids as I see a lot of spoiled little brats getting their way and never even hearing the word no, other than from me and my co-workers ..

[honeybunny]

I'm 28 and I'd love to have children, it's just too early on in the relationship and I would only do it once we close the distance. My boyfriend is 32 and also wants kids. When I was younger I assumed I'd have kids by this age. I really didn't want to start having kids too late in life, but it doesn't bother me too much now I have found someone I can possibly see myself spending the rest of my life with. I worried a lot more when I was single.

[abna1]

I'm also really excited about having kids with my SO in the future. My close friend has a one-year-old and every time I spend time with him, my ovaries are like: "LET'S DO THIS!". He's such a happy baby and loves to cuddle and give kisses, but he can throw some huge tantrums, too. I babysit him quite often and while I love doing it, I also know that I'm not ready to have one of my own just yet. We know we really want to have kids, but when we close the distance next year, knock on wood, we just want to spend time with each other first.

[Zandria]

When baby fever kicks in for me, it is usually around the time when I begin to ovulate. And the only way I know that is because I have an amazing app that lets me know, and then it all clicks as to why I want to have babies with my SO, so damn bad, lol. The both of us have talked about it constantly, and both consider each other to be amazing parents in the near-future with one another. I usually spend my time pinning baby stuff on my Pinterest account, it helps, lol, perhaps try that. (:

Although at the moment, I am not in the situation to probably think about having kids right now, since I am going through a lot of medical stuff...We concluded that if I were to get pregnant we would go with the flow.


Best,

Z

[honeybunny]

When baby fever kicks in for me, it is usually around the time when I begin to ovulate. And the only way I know that is because I have an amazing app that lets me know, and then it all clicks as to why I want to have babies with my SO, so damn bad, lol. The both of us have talked about it constantly, and both consider each other to be amazing parents in the near-future with one another. I usually spend my time pinning baby stuff on my Pinterest account, it helps, lol, perhaps try that. (:

Although at the moment, I am not in the situation to probably think about having kids right now, since I am going through a lot of medical stuff...We concluded that if I were to get pregnant we would go with the flow.


Best,

Z

I can FEEL ovulation lol. It swaps sides, but one ovary will ache for about a day. I'm told not all women feel this. It's not bad just a bit uncomfortable.