Sad

[SadinNY]

Hi. I am new to the site and community. My BF is working a state away (8 hrs away) and only comes home every 2 weeks for a day and a half. I have days/moments when I am okay and then feel the complete opposite to the point of not wanting to even talk to him. I think it's the idea that it's easier to pretend the situation doesn't exist, push him away...something to protect myself. There is no time frame as to when he may be back permanently. He says he wants to find a job locally but he's happy where he's at so I wonder if that will really happen. Advice? This has only been a month long situation and I don't know how to deal with it. I've gone to visit him already, send little things to him, cards, pictures via mail.... that's my attempt and it feels good for a short time. I'm happy to have a place to go where people understand. Thanks.

[differentcountries]

I find that the beginning is the hardest. We do different things, like use phone apps and Skype with each other. We don't know when we can start living in the same place, but at least if we have jobs where we live we can start to pay off debts/save up money and we will have more options that way.

[MissingMyDutchLove]

I feel like him coming home every two weeks is even harder than him being gone for months at a time. When they are gone for months you get used to them being gone, but when they're back so frequently you are just getting used to it and then the pain starts all over again. I don't have any advice for you other than the generic: stay busy and keep communicating. I get wanting to push your SO away to make it easier. It can't hurt if you make yourself numb to it. I don't recommend it, but unfortunately, that's kind of what happens after a while of being LD. You get numb to the whole thing minus a few random days of missing them like crazy. If you missed them the whole time you would go crazy.

[Chris516]

Hi. I am new to the site and community. My BF is working a state away (8 hrs away) and only comes home every 2 weeks for a day and a half. I have days/moments when I am okay and then feel the complete opposite to the point of not wanting to even talk to him. I think it's the idea that it's easier to pretend the situation doesn't exist, push him away...something to protect myself. There is no time frame as to when he may be back permanently. He says he wants to find a job locally but he's happy where he's at so I wonder if that will really happen. Advice? This has only been a month long situation and I don't know how to deal with it. I've gone to visit him already, send little things to him, cards, pictures via mail.... that's my attempt and it feels good for a short time. I'm happy to have a place to go where people understand. Thanks.

LDRs' are hard.

OTOH He could always be honest with you. While ATST, He could be lying through his teeth.

I too find it suspect for him to be saying that he is happy in his job. When he is eight hours away from you.