Question for those who have closed the distance, especially US domestic relationships

[QueenD]

Hello all!

I been really excited to see so many people on this forum who have stuck with their relationships and closed the distance successfully or have a concrete plan to do so soon. My boyfriend and I just started our relationship recently, so we certainly don't need to rush any decisions, but I'm still curious how couples that might be in a similar situation have have handled things. In particular, I'm interested in how you have made the decision as to who would uproot their lives, why you chose what you did, and what were the most important factors in your decision.

My situation:
I am in the Kansas Cit area, my SO is in South Carolina
I am 41 and he is 47
Neither of us have kids, so no child custody requirements to deal with.
Both of us have good jobs in our cities, though I like mine more than he likes his.
Both of us have some family in the Midwest, some of which we are close to and some of which we aren't.
We both are pretty integrated into our communities - neither of us is a homebody or anything like that

I know a lot of you are international couples that has visa issues to consider, and that can make an enormous difference. We don't have those concerns.

Thanks!
D

[R&R]

We haven't closed the distance yet, but where we will be moving to has been decided. We actually will both be uprooting our lives (he in IN and me in NH) and moving to Texas. Texas is his home state but he hasn't lived there in over 20 years. We had been dating for 6 months and broke up. During our time apart, he had made the decision to move back to Texas. When we got back together, he let me know that he really wanted to move back.

He has family and friends there. He already owns land there as well. He owns his own business and would be able to start right up when he goes back. He can stay with his sister until he gets settled. I'll follow after and once I have secured a job. Our kids are all old enough that we don't have to worry about that aspect. My 21-year old plans on moving with me. We're all looking forward to the next step in our lives.

[Redheart14]

I moved to my SO but we realised it was far too expensive for us there. I had some family issues that have required me to be here. He's gone back to do a few things then he'll be relocating here. In the end we realised job opportunity and cost of living was better here. We didn't realise when I was moving job prospects would be so scarce there. It's a muck around and it'll take a bit of time now moving 2 lots of things, but we'll get there. Sometimes life happens and plans change but as long as you and your SO stick together in hard times, it'll work out.

Best of luck to you

[sasad]

Mine is in FL, I am in VA. I have a child so it makes it a bit harder.
He can work remote from anyplace that has high speed internet... So he is moving to me, and we are keeping the house in Florida for vacations and weekend getaways.

[Elizabeth123]

We met but had no plans at first....then it became clear for us...we talked and made a plan. All his family live near each other and he is successful in his job, etc.
I have only one parent and no other family, I can start a new career since I've already got a pension and no snow to shovel!
Almost and ideal life hahahaha!
Seriously, for us it makes sense that I move and we are excited to start this next chapter of our lives.

Also, welcome to LFAD

[lyonsgirl]

My SO initially moved to be with me - but since my job forced me to continue to move, I eventually found a different job that is allowing us to stay in one location. It was hard for him to leave his family, but when he initially moved we talked about it an ultimately wanted to end up near-ish to his family, since they are all in the same state, whereas mine is all over the west coast.

[Dwessie]

Hello all!

I been really excited to see so many people on this forum who have stuck with their relationships and closed the distance successfully or have a concrete plan to do so soon. My boyfriend and I just started our relationship recently, so we certainly don't need to rush any decisions, but I'm still curious how couples that might be in a similar situation have have handled things. In particular, I'm interested in how you have made the decision as to who would uproot their lives, why you chose what you did, and what were the most important factors in your decision.

My situation:
I am in the Kansas Cit area, my SO is in South Carolina
I am 41 and he is 47
Neither of us have kids, so no child custody requirements to deal with.
Both of us have good jobs in our cities, though I like mine more than he likes his.
Both of us have some family in the Midwest, some of which we are close to and some of which we aren't.
We both are pretty integrated into our communities - neither of us is a homebody or anything like that

I know a lot of you are international couples that has visa issues to consider, and that can make an enormous difference. We don't have those concerns.

Thanks!
D

Back when I still lived in Missouri my sister started her LDR, and so they were basically a Kansas City/South Carolina family.
It is so much easier when you don't have a separate country, isn't it? She just moved right over to him with their baby (Both lived with their parents, but our house didn't have room for their baby, and his parents' house had an extra guest room and two master bedrooms, so they took one master, and turned the guest room into a nursery)
It made sense to move the way they did, even if it messed up literally everything Sis had going, but my parents have high standards and didn't want her fiance living with us anymore.

Basically what I was trying to say before I went off on that tangent (whoops) was that either way, it's super easy to visit the other place! Sis is visiting in 9 days, and we're pretty excited! Planes get expensive, but everything is easier than international.

I don't know which decision is the right one, but it'll be okay whichever one you pick, because you DON'T have Visas, and you can visit more often.