LDRs of a Different Sort: An LDF on the Rocks and Questions to Sustain LDFs
A long-distance relationship doesn't have to be romantic--what about a long-distance friendship? I was prompted to post this because, in my final year of a lot of university training, I was blessed with two very wonderful housemates (plus one psychopath), who really were some of the best (there are some others and many acquaintances, but very few like these girls) and most kindred friends I made at university (this came after a very hard year, where my best friend passed away unexpectedly, and the original ...what I thought was a solid group of friends I had had all shunned me because some of the girls were jealous of me and also because they didn't like that I finally worked up the courage to stand up against their cavalier treatment of others and myself...anyway, that is all a long story and is getting into some scar territory). When the end of the school year came, we parted ways--I graduated, one girl lives in a different part of the province and is taking her final year off because she is ill, and the other girl was on an exchange from Europe and had to very reluctantly return home to finish her degree. We had great vows that we would keep in contact--we exchanged mailing addresses, we all have each other on Facebook (and the girl from Europe even made a private group for just the three of us), I have the girl from Europe on Skype and the other girl on MSN (she doesn't have a webcam or mic for Skype).
I will be clear that I am not the most prolific penpal (I know, with the amount I can write on here, that seems bizarre), but I do eventually get about to at least posting in our Facebook group about some updates and questions, before a good deal of time has gone by. I have found that the posts and contact from everyone has become less and less (and, yes, I acknowledge that everyone is busy with their own concerns). What prompted me to make this thread was that I was the last to post a bunch of comments in the group after things had dwindled for awhile and no one has responded for awhile. The girl in Europe has posted in her status that she has moved in to a new apartment, which makes me wonder if the postcards I sent her went into purgatory. So, I posted very briefly on her wall and congratulated her about her new apartment and asked her if she could give me her new address and she couldn't be bothered to write back.
I know that she is likely the busiest of the three of us (it could be that the other girl can't respond because when she gets ill, she is unable to use the computer...though I have seen that she is playing games on there...it's just unusual from her, because she really doesn't have herds of friends and is often eager to talk), but I don't think it is unreasonable to expect that she could respond with a brief reply for her address (and it isn't like I have done anything to warrant being blacklisted and I know very well that she has an iPhone which she gets constant Facebook updates on). She has also gone back to posting a lot of the things on her wall in German (well, an Upper Austrian dialect), which excludes not only us two girls from understanding it, but all of the many friends she made in Canada (other exchange students, included) from understanding what she is saying. You might say that she is onto other things and that the friendship is over, but that makes me very sad and surprised, because of how much she wanted to stay in Canada, or raise funds to return to Canada (possibly permanently) and how very much she did not want to go home and was agonized over losing friends like us. Does anyone have any insight or suggestions for this situation? (I know that I may not necessarily be able to hold onto the these friends forever, but they are really important to me right now and I want to try and make things better).
Do you have any long-distance friends? How do you keep the bond going? (I think, in some ways, it may be even more difficult to keep the friendship up than in a long-distance romance, because there isn't that romantic or physical chemistry. Thus, "friend date" options and such may not be as expansive and there may not be that compulsion to visit and keep in contact as much as we might feel with someone we have romantic love for).
I will be clear that I am not the most prolific penpal (I know, with the amount I can write on here, that seems bizarre), but I do eventually get about to at least posting in our Facebook group about some updates and questions, before a good deal of time has gone by. I have found that the posts and contact from everyone has become less and less (and, yes, I acknowledge that everyone is busy with their own concerns). What prompted me to make this thread was that I was the last to post a bunch of comments in the group after things had dwindled for awhile and no one has responded for awhile. The girl in Europe has posted in her status that she has moved in to a new apartment, which makes me wonder if the postcards I sent her went into purgatory. So, I posted very briefly on her wall and congratulated her about her new apartment and asked her if she could give me her new address and she couldn't be bothered to write back.
I know that she is likely the busiest of the three of us (it could be that the other girl can't respond because when she gets ill, she is unable to use the computer...though I have seen that she is playing games on there...it's just unusual from her, because she really doesn't have herds of friends and is often eager to talk), but I don't think it is unreasonable to expect that she could respond with a brief reply for her address (and it isn't like I have done anything to warrant being blacklisted and I know very well that she has an iPhone which she gets constant Facebook updates on). She has also gone back to posting a lot of the things on her wall in German (well, an Upper Austrian dialect), which excludes not only us two girls from understanding it, but all of the many friends she made in Canada (other exchange students, included) from understanding what she is saying. You might say that she is onto other things and that the friendship is over, but that makes me very sad and surprised, because of how much she wanted to stay in Canada, or raise funds to return to Canada (possibly permanently) and how very much she did not want to go home and was agonized over losing friends like us. Does anyone have any insight or suggestions for this situation? (I know that I may not necessarily be able to hold onto the these friends forever, but they are really important to me right now and I want to try and make things better).Do you have any long-distance friends? How do you keep the bond going? (I think, in some ways, it may be even more difficult to keep the friendship up than in a long-distance romance, because there isn't that romantic or physical chemistry. Thus, "friend date" options and such may not be as expansive and there may not be that compulsion to visit and keep in contact as much as we might feel with someone we have romantic love for).
) since I met her on here and we have a lot in common too, although we only live some 30-40 minutes away from each other 
). So, I will try my best to give the one girl a call this weekend and pay a bit more attention to Skype to see if the other pops on.
haha
The Day we went long distance: 08.08.2010
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