Hi LFAD! It's been a while since I've been around, and I'm not sure if anyone would remember me, but I felt the urge to pop back in and contribute some advice of what I have learned in my LDR. First of all, I feel like I should give a little introduction about myself! I am a 19 year old college student living in Quebec, Canada, and my SO is 20 years old and has just recently joined the USAF. We started dating in December of 2012, went long distance in August of 2013, and have been together ever since!
Now that the intro is out of the way, here's what I have actually come here to say. I think this is more geared towards young couples who are newly long distance, but I'm sure others could take some advice from what I am saying as well. When my boyfriend and I first began out long distance journey, we were only about 17. Our thoughts were constantly filled with "When are we going to see each other again?" and "When is the soonest we can close the distance?" and "I miss you so much it hurts."
I realize that it is important in a LDR to know what the next step is, but I also know that it is important to not let all that consume you. Yes, you want to see each other again soon, Yes, you want to close the distance, and Yes, sometimes you miss your SO so much it feels like your heart might explode. If I've learned anything, I've learned it's important to still live your life in the in-between moments. If we had closed the distance at 17 like our crazy teenage dreams wanted, we would not be the people we are today. My SO would not have joined the Air Force and become the wonderful man that I am so incredibly proud of (seriously, I have to stop myself from showing EVERYONE pictures of him in his dress blues
). And I would not have taken the time to really get to know myself, nor would I have taken the step back to tell myself "Hey, there are some things you need to work on first."
There's a reason that our many attempts to close the distance before this never actually happened. There's a reason that the decision to wait 2 more years (at least!) to close the distance just feels like the best decision for us. Our time apart is not over, and that's because there is so much more of ourselves we need to discover individually before we close the distance. We have been through rough seasons just like anyone else, but today we are stronger than ever. Basically, what I am trying to say, is that when we stopped fighting against the distance between us, everything just started falling into place. The distance is what you make of it, and it's going to be a problem if you make it a problem.
I hope this was a helpful perspective. Best wishes to you all, and best of luck in your LDRs!
Now that the intro is out of the way, here's what I have actually come here to say. I think this is more geared towards young couples who are newly long distance, but I'm sure others could take some advice from what I am saying as well. When my boyfriend and I first began out long distance journey, we were only about 17. Our thoughts were constantly filled with "When are we going to see each other again?" and "When is the soonest we can close the distance?" and "I miss you so much it hurts."
I realize that it is important in a LDR to know what the next step is, but I also know that it is important to not let all that consume you. Yes, you want to see each other again soon, Yes, you want to close the distance, and Yes, sometimes you miss your SO so much it feels like your heart might explode. If I've learned anything, I've learned it's important to still live your life in the in-between moments. If we had closed the distance at 17 like our crazy teenage dreams wanted, we would not be the people we are today. My SO would not have joined the Air Force and become the wonderful man that I am so incredibly proud of (seriously, I have to stop myself from showing EVERYONE pictures of him in his dress blues
). And I would not have taken the time to really get to know myself, nor would I have taken the step back to tell myself "Hey, there are some things you need to work on first." There's a reason that our many attempts to close the distance before this never actually happened. There's a reason that the decision to wait 2 more years (at least!) to close the distance just feels like the best decision for us. Our time apart is not over, and that's because there is so much more of ourselves we need to discover individually before we close the distance. We have been through rough seasons just like anyone else, but today we are stronger than ever. Basically, what I am trying to say, is that when we stopped fighting against the distance between us, everything just started falling into place. The distance is what you make of it, and it's going to be a problem if you make it a problem.
I hope this was a helpful perspective. Best wishes to you all, and best of luck in your LDRs!
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