He hasn't texted me in like more than two weeks, why stop out of a sudden?

[Zap96]

I met this guy three years ago, madly in love with each other until the distance was to our disgrace our worst enemy. But thank god things have improved over the months. We would usually talk once or more a week, have good times, Skype once in a while. He works 10 hours a day. But sadly, the feelings we had for each other remained hidden since a lot of time. So now since we reunited, I thought focusing on just the friendship front would be good so hopefully someday we can finally meet. We are both in our 20s so it's hard.
What makes me sad most is that it's been two weeks, haven't heard from him, I've approached him the last three times, and we both were into it. So I was like, I'm going to wait and see if he would first but sadly to my surprise remained absent. Is that a sign that I actually haven't mattered to him all this time or time means nothing and I'm exaggerating.
Thanks for taking your time to read this. I'd be grateful for a response since I assume you know how it feels to not have someone in your arms when they're in your heart.

[Zandria]

I am a tad bit confused...

I understand that he had not texted you in two weeks, but when you mentioned you approached him, does that mean physically or by texting? I think "approached" is the wrong connotation, but I want to confirm to better assist!


Best,

Z

[Zap96]

Approach by text I meant

[Zap96]

I am a tad bit confused...
I understand that he had not texted you in two weeks, but when you mentioned you approached him, does that mean physically or by texting? I think "approached" is the wrong connotation, but I want to confirm to better assist!


Best,

Z

Approach by text

[R&R]

People put effort into what is a priority for them. When I felt like I was constantly the one initiating contact with my SO, I backed off to see if he would pick up the slack. He noticed and realized he needed to put in effort to being the one to initiate instead of just being responsive. He showed me that I was a priority and important.

I would suggest talking to him about it, even if it means that you make the first contact this time. "I've noticed that I seem to be the one to initiate contact and it makes me feel concerned that this may no longer be what you want. If you feel that this relationship isn't what you want or that you can't put the effort into it any longer, please be honest and let me know". Just make sure you are prepared for the answer.

[Zap96]

People put effort into what is a priority for them. When I felt like I was constantly the one initiating contact with my SO, I backed off to see if he would pick up the slack. He noticed and realized he needed to put in effort to being the one to initiate instead of just being responsive. He showed me that I was a priority and important.

I would suggest talking to him about it, even if it means that you make the first contact this time. "I've noticed that I seem to be the one to initiate contact and it makes me feel concerned that this may no longer be what you want. If you feel that this relationship isn't what you want or that you can't put the effort into it any longer, please be honest and let me know". Just make sure you are prepared for the answer.

It's not the first time that this has happened, he can't decide what to do with me. Sometimes would see no reason to talk and just stop for a while until comes back again. He's inconsistent and both him and I haven't had the guts to talk about this. Yes I'm planning on serious talk to him over Skype tomorrow because it's tiring receiving mixed signals way too often.

[R&R]

It's not the first time that this has happened, he can't decide what to do with me. Sometimes would see no reason to talk and just stop for a while until comes back again. He's inconsistent and both him and I haven't had the guts to talk about this. Yes I'm planning on serious talk to him over Skype tomorrow because it's tiring receiving mixed signals way too often.

Maybe you need to be the one to decide. Is this how you want a relationship? Is inconsistency and indecisiveness what you want in a relationship (with him or anyone else)? You aren't a toy to be taken down and played with when it's convenient and then put on a shelf until next time. That is not a relationship. Anyone being treated as such deserves better. I am glad you are going to talk to him about it.

[Zap96]

Maybe you need to be the one to decide. Is this how you want a relationship? Is inconsistency and indecisiveness what you want in a relationship (with him or anyone else)? You aren't a toy to be taken down and played with when it's convenient and then put on a shelf until next time. That is not a relationship. Anyone being treated as such deserves better. I am glad you are going to talk to him about it.

Yes, you're right. I thought everything was going in the right direction and then bam, I wanted to really like really be right about him being a good guy with a good heart and that he isn't that bad after all but then it seemed too good to be true and was forced to face the reality. The thing here is that, he doesn't even know what he wants, he has done some weird things, like for example saying that he'll delete the app we used to talk through and then say I'm not using it but I'll keep it, then later I find out that he has been messaging me from another account pretending to be a stranger and later doesn't want to admit it.

[R&R]

Yes, you're right. I thought everything was going in the right direction and then bam, I wanted to really like really be right about him being a good guy with a good heart and that he isn't that bad after all but then it seemed too good to be true and was forced to face the reality. The thing here is that, he doesn't even know what he wants, he has done some weird things, like for example saying that he'll delete the app we used to talk through and then say I'm not using it but I'll keep it, then later I find out that he has been messaging me from another account pretending to be a stranger and later doesn't want to admit it.

Playing games with someone's heart because you don't know what you want is immature and wrong. He needs to grow up. When he figures things out, if he contacts you and you are single and want to give it a try - that's one thing. However, I wouldn't put my life on hold for him.

[Zap96]

Playing games with someone's heart because you don't know what you want is immature and wrong. He needs to grow up. When he figures things out, if he contacts you and you are single and want to give it a try - that's one thing. However, I wouldn't put my life on hold for him.

I've decided from now on to not take things so personal because when you do get mixed signals you grasp each one of them as truths and later seeing the big picture you find out that they actually contradict each other. He's a good friend, I love being his friend, I guess just not a priority in his life at the moment. Maybe I'm living a dull life and need to focus on something else and thus everything would be more simple, our friendship more fond, more easy going, more fresh without overthinking everything at any time.

[Elizabeth123]

Zap96:he has done some weird things, like for example saying that he'll delete the app we used to talk through and then say I'm not using it but I'll keep it, then later I find out that he has been messaging me from another account pretending to be a stranger and later doesn't want to admit it.

There's a point you are missing....a friend or SO doesn't play games like that...they respect the person.
You deserve communication, respect and this is missing from what you share.
A question: Do your CD friends treat you this way? Do you think that's ok?

[Zap96]

There's a point you are missing....a friend or SO doesn't play games like that...they respect the person.
You deserve communication, respect and this is missing from what you share.
A question: Do your CD friends treat you this way? Do you think that's ok?

It's not okay. Maybe I'm a needy person when it comes to him, I'm never needy with my friends. I just need to control being needy.
He is a coward to me, ever since I hurt him bad he has changed into a coward when it comes to love, that's how I see it. He has hurt me too but we had a rest in between not talking for a while until we started again and for few months it was going good. It's a long story... As I said in my previous states, he seems to not know what he wants. This is how I see him in my mind. I do deserve communication, I'm okay texting once or twice a week to check up on each other and everything. But I don't deserve him pulling out a ghost on me and then come back like nothing happened, because for me it is not normal, for other people who don't care wouldn't notice his absence much but I would, because I feel something for him and I don't have the courage to tell him that, all I do and he does is just dropping hints here and there.

[Miasmata]

No, don't drop hints. Tell him! Really, do! You will be glad you worked up the courage. It's not okay he is playing games with you like that instead of adressing issues like an adult. Of course it's hard to be open, but playing around and being dishonest is not a valid alternative.