7 Months in LDR - Unfair scenarios often arise

[JDM]

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[Elizabeth123]

First..welcome to LFAD
Second.....it seems you are more comfortable sending pics...she is not...maybe respect that and let it end there.
Or you could visit and each take a picture for the other when in person

[R&R]

I have been in a ldr for 7 months. We have been getting progressively more comfortable even now. A week ago I was using snapchat to talk to her and I told her I was about to go in the shower. She replied with "take a selfie"
This didn't sound like her so i asked her if she was serious and she said "i am." I told her I'd do if she does it and she said she would so I sent a topless pic in my boxers and she replies with "OMG I WAS KIDDING I DIDNT THINK YOU DO IT" or something alone the lines of that. I felt stupid and she said she swore she didn't think I'd take it. Since we don't do nudes, I told her to take a pic of in leggings and She agreed. A few days passed without mentioning it and she started asking for the picture because she didn't have it. I told her no on many occasions but lightly joking. She asked me what she had to do for me to send it and I said I'd send it if she sent a pic of her booty in leggings tomorrow if I sent her the pic now. So I did and she did but I didnt get chance to screenshot it and i asked her to send it again so i could but she said I was "pushing it" and "forcing it" and repeatedly saying she was kidding even though it seemed she was serious. I asked her to do it yesterday and she did but it wasn't the same. She was sat down and covering it apposed to how it was before, stood and showing and I complained. She refused to take another and said she would tomorrow. I ask the next day, she replied "nope" and I said "dammit" to avoid awkwardness and she said "I sent one and that wasn't good enough for you" and I said "I didn't say that" and then she said "yeah yeah"

I can't get this one picture I was waiting for all this time. I didn't mention that she agreed to take it 4 times before when leggings came into the conversation.

I told her to delete the pic of me topless and she said "fine I won't send the legging picture" so i said "deal"

She also said "all I care about is her booty" and then said she was kidding.

How did I get this? Bearing in mind she has my picture saved, and I don't. Anyway I could use that to get it?

Any advice/ opinion is appreciated

Thanks

Welcome to LFAD.

Honestly, when I first read this, I thought I had hit the teen section. I was surprised to see that you are 35. It's a picture. She sent the picture and you didn't screenshot it - not her fault. She's obviously not comfortable taking and sending another one. If my SO got this upset over a picture not being resent, I'd tell him he needed to go get his head checked and get over it.

Is this really such a big issue that it's worth all this fighting, stress and drama? You need to ask yourself, is it really about the picture itself or is it because you aren't getting what you want? Is it because you feel she isn't keeping her word? What is REALLY bothering you about this?

[hmrambling]

How did I get this? Bearing in mind she has my picture saved, and I don't. Anyway I could use that to get it?

"Anyway I could use that to get it?" sounds like manipulation. Quid pro quo might not be the best way to go about getting photos. I wouldn't send any pictures at all if I felt pressured to do so, nor would I send pictures if I thought it was an expectation. My suggestion to you is that if she isn't comfortable with taking pictures to stop pressing for pictures. Pressuring me for photos would be a sure way to turn me off in a relationship. You guys are 3 hours away from each other. Do you visit each other in person?

It would probably be best if ya'll talked it out without either of you pressuring the other for pictures.

[JaneEmily]

Pretty much what everyone else said. If she's not comfortable with redoing the photos just leave it at that. It's not very mature to keep going on and on about it. I'd rather have a photograph of my SO's face than a kinky one tbh. If it was more about not knowing what she looks like then I would understand, but the fact that you're getting mad over her not sending a picture of her body when she might not be confident in it is completely different. Move on from it. It's not worth the hassle and like others have said, you're 3hrs away jump on a National Express or a train if you need to see her body THAT badly.

[Honour]

If this is what you call an "unfair" situation, I'd hate to see what you'd make of a real "unfair" situation.

[snow_girl]

Welcome to LFAD.

Honestly, when I first read this, I thought I had hit the teen section. I was surprised to see that you are 35.

My exact thoughts

[whatruckus]

So, let me get this straight. She jokingly asked you for a picture, so you did it. Then she wanted another one, but you wouldn't do it unless she sent you something. So, she did. Then, you didn't save it (your fault) and she refused at first. Then you keep asking her, so she finally takes another picture, but it's not the way you wanted it. So, you ask her again, and now she outright refuses. Am I correct?

So, basically you pressured her into sending you another picture, even though she didn't want to, and then it wasn't to your specifications, so now you keep bugging her about it. And, now you're trying to manipulate her into sending you one to your liking by using the fact that you sent her another picture as leverage.

She didn't really want to send you a picture to begin with, but you pressured her twice into doing it and she did. Now you're asking her a third time, and because you won't get your way, you're complaining about her?

You should be thankful she sent you any pictures at all. She's not under any obligation to send you a damn thing, just because you're in a relationship. Please get this into your head.

As unfair as it may seem, because you couldn't tell when she was serious or not, it still doesn't grant you the right to demand a picture from her if she doesn't want to send it. You chose to send yours on your free will, you shouldn't expect anything in return for that.

[JDM]

So, let me get this straight. She jokingly asked you for a picture, so you did it. Then she wanted another one, but you wouldn't do it unless she sent you something. So, she did. Then, you didn't save it (your fault) and she refused at first. Then you keep asking her, so she finally takes another picture, but it's not the way you wanted it. So, you ask her again, and now she outright refuses. Am I correct?

So, basically you pressured her into sending you another picture, even though she didn't want to, and then it wasn't to your specifications, so now you keep bugging her about it. And, now you're trying to manipulate her into sending you one to your liking by using the fact that you sent her another picture as leverage.

She didn't really want to send you a picture to begin with, but you pressured her twice into doing it and she did. Now you're asking her a third time, and because you won't get your way, you're complaining about her?

You should be thankful she sent you any pictures at all. She's not under any obligation to send you a damn thing, just because you're in a relationship. Please get this into your head.

That is correct mostly, I left out a few details that maybe made me look worse. After I sent this picture in the first place, she didn't save it. She did, however, ask me on many occasions for and refused. I didn't pressure her as such, just asked if she'd do it since she kept delaying it. I am gonna leave it as it is and forget it.

[whatruckus]

That is correct mostly, I left out a few details that maybe made me look worse. After I sent this picture in the first place, she didn't save it. She did, however, ask me on many occasions for and refused. I didn't pressure her as such, just asked if she'd do it since she kept delaying it. I am gonna leave it as it is and forget it.

Again, you sent the picture on your own will. She still doesn't owe you anything. You didn't have to send it either.