I'm in desperate need of some help please!

[JC2122]

I am currently in an online relationship of sorts. I really would like to talk about everything but have no idea where to even begin. It would be awesome if one of you kind people could kinda help me through this. Like I find myself sriously doubting things I don't know if that is totally uncalled for. I would like to type out about the relationship but I don't know where to begin.
I am a 23 yr old woman in America he is 6 yrs younger in the UK
I just need to talk with some one about this.
Any help would be greatly appreciated. I mean GREATLY!

[Harlequin]

You'd need to give us more details so we can help you properly. What's going on that you're doubting everything?

[JC2122]

I guess I'm wondering if whether or not a guy could have such serious feelings at such a young age. I'm trying to make sure that this isn't another game. We have put a lot of time into this relationship and I don't really know if it is 100% what he wants even though he does say that.

[JC2122]

My previous post I just opened again has all the details. Well not all of them as I have no idea how to include all the important parts and not have a book

[differentcountries]

I guess I'm wondering if whether or not a guy could have such serious feelings at such a young age. I'm trying to make sure that this isn't another game. We have put a lot of time into this relationship and I don't really know if it is 100% what he wants even though he does say that.

Even in a CD relationship, and at the same age, you never know if people are a 100 % serious.

What makes you think it might be a game to him?

[JC2122]

It's just mainly the age I think.

[R&R]

He's 17 and I'm guessing still in high school. What are his plans upon graduation? Is he planning on going to college?

I was engaged at 18 and he was 24. Was I serious? Yes, I was. As it turned out, for us, it was too much of a gap. I was fresh out of high school and starting to find out who I was. He was 24 and established. He had friends he wanted to hang out with and I couldn't go a lot of places because I was underage. There were too many disconnects. He ended up cheating on me with someone his age and we were living together at the time. IMHO, a 6-year age gap when you are 25 and 31 is a lot different than a 6 year age gap of 17 and 23.

[sasad]

Weren't you in a relationship with a 40 year old a while back?
Just curious as you seem to question your ldrs a lot from what I have read.
Maybe you need to step back and ask yourself what is it you want, what is it he can offer me and can we make it work.

[JC2122]

It's almost been 1+ years since that relationship and any relationship. I was alone for a while and was perfectly happy. I did not expect to meet him, but I love him so much and I do not want things to end. I really really would appreciate more help on the current guy in my life, as this is more different then anything that I have done and I have not felt this strongly for someone ever. Actually right now we are considering ourselves friends who love each other, but we do talk about relationship type things pretty often. He is becoming my best friend and I love him and I don't want either of us to get hurt

I wish I could forget about all the relationships prior to this one because as I feared they were totally "games" for lack of a better word.
Please please I need the help, I really just love this amazing person.

Basically when I said hi to him about a month ago, I never expected all of this to happen. It is very overwhelming

[Chris516]

I am currently in an online relationship of sorts. I really would like to talk about everything but have no idea where to even begin. It would be awesome if one of you kind people could kinda help me through this. Like I find myself sriously doubting things I don't know if that is totally uncalled for. I would like to type out about the relationship but I don't know where to begin.
I am a 23 yr old woman in America he is 6 yrs younger in the UK
I just need to talk with some one about this.
Any help would be greatly appreciated. I mean GREATLY!

I know what you mean about seriously doubting things. Because it comes two angles. Seriously doubting whether person is being truthful with you. Then seriously doubting whether you are worthy of the person. Since they want to be with you.

So, Spill the beans(uncooked they don't make a mess. But spilled milk always does, and smells).

Cook up a meal of more details about your situation.

He's 17 and I'm guessing still in high school. What are his plans upon graduation? Is he planning on going to college?

I was engaged at 18 and he was 24. Was I serious? Yes, I was. As it turned out, for us, it was too much of a gap. I was fresh out of high school and starting to find out who I was. He was 24 and established. He had friends he wanted to hang out with and I couldn't go a lot of places because I was underage. There were too many disconnects. He ended up cheating on me with someone his age and we were living together at the time. IMHO, a 6-year age gap when you are 25 and 31 is a lot different than a 6 year age gap of 17 and 23.

Age gap is sort of subjective. Because, At those ages, what you say can be true. To give two examples of what I am referring to.

Actor Alan Alda(Hawkeye on M*A*S*H) and his wife Arlene Alda, have been married 59yrs.. They weren't even 25 when they got married. They were both 21yrs.-old.
The second example(which also ended up becoming a big court case). Was the marriage of billionaire J. Howard Marshall, and (late)actress Anna Nicole Smith. After his death, his kids took her to court, claiming she was just after his money. He was in his 70's, and she was in her 30's. So, If the OP and the 17yr.-old can accept the age difference. Despite their individual aspirations, and support eachother's aspirations. Then I say 'more power to them'.

It's almost been 1+ years since that relationship and any relationship. I was alone for a while and was perfectly happy. I did not expect to meet him, but I love him so much and I do not want things to end. I really really would appreciate more help on the current guy in my life, as this is more different then anything that I have done and I have not felt this strongly for someone ever. Actually right now we are considering ourselves friends who love each other, but we do talk about relationship type things pretty often. He is becoming my best friend and I love him and I don't want either of us to get hurt

I wish I could forget about all the relationships prior to this one because as I feared they were totally "games" for lack of a better word.
Please please I need the help, I really just love this amazing person.

Basically when I said hi to him about a month ago, I never expected all of this to happen. It is very overwhelming

Ah, Being served the dinner plate of detail. You are not alone in your fear from previous relationships. I feel the same way.

The only thing I can add to my response to what the other poster said. Is that, EVERYONE(you, him, his parents') respects the individual vantage points, of EVERYONE, and always yearns for an understanding.

[Moon]

Honestly, he's too young for you, he's a kid. The difference between 17 and 23 is huge, and you should find someone a bit older and more mature than a high school boy. I don't even need the details others are asking for to tell you that. I'm sure he's mature for his age, age is just a number anyway, right? Not really, not that young. I know that isn't really what you're asking, or what you want to hear, and I'm sorry about that, but I think you need to hear it. Three or so years from now would make the situation completely different, but why would an independent 23 year old woman be pining away for a dependent, rule-bound, zero life-experienced, high school kid? Stay friends, you never know what the future holds in a few years, but I think getting into a romantic relationship with him now is a really bad idea. Good luck.

[R&R]

It's almost been 1+ years since that relationship and any relationship. I was alone for a while and was perfectly happy. I did not expect to meet him, but I love him so much and I do not want things to end. I really really would appreciate more help on the current guy in my life, as this is more different then anything that I have done and I have not felt this strongly for someone ever. Actually right now we are considering ourselves friends who love each other, but we do talk about relationship type things pretty often. He is becoming my best friend and I love him and I don't want either of us to get hurt

I wish I could forget about all the relationships prior to this one because as I feared they were totally "games" for lack of a better word.
Please please I need the help, I really just love this amazing person.

Basically when I said hi to him about a month ago, I never expected all of this to happen. It is very overwhelming

Honestly, slow down and take time to enjoy the friendship. You are focusing on the possibility of an ending before there really even is a beginning. Just take the friendship a day at a time. I would not be worrying about a relationship.

I know a lot of people don't like talking about ages but he is 17. An older woman is paying attention to him - that's a pretty good ego boost. As I stated in my earlier post, between 17 and 23, that's a pretty big gap. Think about how much you have learned, grown and changed since you were 17. He's going to go through all of that too. He's probably going to go to college/uni and have new experiences and meet new people who are experiencing the same things he is at the same time. He has more growing up and experiencing to do. You do as well but you are in different places as to what those experiences are.

[JC2122]

He is in college as they say in the uk, I don't believe he has plans of going to University as he will soon inherit a family business just for one more detail, also thank you so much guys for the opinions. Chris516 you had me laughing so much with your illustration thanks for that...

[hmrambling]

Strangers on the internet don't know his maturity level or if he's ready for a serious relationship. When I have uncertainties, I talk to my partner about them. It takes time for me to get to know a person and to know what their true intentions are. In time, people will show me who they really are.

[JC2122]

He sent me the most amazing text that said this is after I decided we shouldn't be together and we were having such a difficult time. "I accept that we love each other and I accept that it hurts not having me( as it hurts me not having you as well) and I really just wish that I could wake up one morning and find that I've been with you my whole life, but I also sadly accept that we are both at different points in our paths and hopefully our paths stay side by side for a while so that when I do catch up with you I can join you on your path." He said "I want us to be cute and loving to each other and reserving each other for one another so no one else will ever get to call me theirs other then you and no one will call you theirs except me." I mean how special is he? Wouldn't I be completely foolish to walk away from such a special sweet guy?
I'm not quite sure what I was asking, I guess I was more trying to just talk about everything. I love him so much.
I really don't want my relationship with him friendship or otherwise to be me being scared that this is a "game". I don't believe it is, I am just honestly terrified
I don't want to continue to question and doubt him, he doesn't deserve it. I guess that is where I am right now with my thoughts, because every single day I question him and I honestly do want to sit back and enjoy everything with him, but it's clouded with doubt and fear based on my past.
And everyday he calmly reassures me.