I'm in desperate need of some help please!

[JC2122]

I am 2 months shy of being single for a whole year, where I have been in bi weekly counseling and just spending time by myself and honestly I was content and happy being by myself, I just reached out and said hi to him after almost 2 years last month and this is how it all began...I don't know what is in my future or in his, all I know that I can't help to love this wonderful person, and I start to feel a bit empty without him.

[Chris516]

Keep us posted on what happens. You have my full support.

[Miasmata]

You do what you feel is best, but I gotta agree, when you say things like "I feel we are becoming dependent on each other" and "I'm worried it's just a game" and "I feel empty without him" so quickly about someone you yourself admitted might not be the man you need, I have to ask if this is really right for you. You seem to love very intensely very quickly, which isn't wrong by itself, but it has a high chance of getting you invested in things prematurely. It's not fun to look at the facts when feelings are this thrilling, but please be honest with yourself if this can really be a relationship. He's not even legally an adult yet, he has yet to finish high school, he got a lot of experiences still to make. You can love someone and still recognize that a relationship with them wouldn't be right for you or them for whatever reason. You keep saying "you don't intend for this to happen", so I can't help but wonder if you are fully on board with this being a relationship. You are not a slave to your feelings, you can still make decisions yourself. Please do your best to make the decision that's truly right for you, not just what you feel is about being so in love.

[JC2122]

I think I made a big mistake getting on thus forum again. I am so conflicted I really have no idea where to go or what to do. I'm very confused. When I think that I love this person and want to wait for him, I then think I don't want to wait again for someone as that takes a lot of effort when everyday I'm getting older. I'm not the immature girl I once was. I guess I still have a bunch of thinking to do regarding all of this.

[Miasmata]

Do all the thinking you need! That's perfectly fine. We are just here to provide you with our perspectives - How you take them into account is entirely in your power. You came here already conflicted, so I do believe thinking things through and taking it slow will be better for you.

[JC2122]

i came here because the past month has made me mentally exhausted because I have thought of things so incredibly much, and I needed help as I could not continue in that manner. I scheduled a session with my therapist just to talk about this person, and I left feeling good and happy but yet I continue to think about this situation constantly. I mean I am an adult I can't spend my time like this, I have to get things done! Yet it seems from the moment I wake up to the moment I go to sleep, this "relationship" is on my mind, It literally never stops. That is why I am here on this forum. I needed to talk, of course I have talked to him about all of this and he knows that I am on here and he doesn't like it but knows how much I think about things. I am just literally very exhausted. Has any of you had this happen to you? What did you do to get back to life before you met the person? Just how do you calm your thoughts?

[Chris516]

i came here because the past month has made me mentally exhausted because I have thought of things so incredibly much, and I needed help as I could not continue in that manner. I scheduled a session with my therapist just to talk about this person, and I left feeling good and happy but yet I continue to think about this situation constantly. I mean I am an adult I can't spend my time like this, I have to get things done! Yet it seems from the moment I wake up to the moment I go to sleep, this "relationship" is on my mind, It literally never stops. That is why I am here on this forum. I needed to talk, of course I have talked to him about all of this and he knows that I am on here and he doesn't like it but knows how much I think about things. I am just literally very exhausted. Has any of you had this happen to you? What did you do to get back to life before you met the person? Just how do you calm your thoughts?

My previous LDR was mentally exhausting at times. Because, I would sometimes go into my therapist's office, only talking about my (previous)SO and something she said, feeling proud that I didn't get upset with her about it. Coming out 50mins. later, feeling better. But I would start thinking again about she had said. Either, What she said, couldn't be fully discussed in a mere 50mins., or I was thinking about too much, and giving it far too much importance.

[JC2122]

My previous LDR was mentally exhausting at times. Because, I would sometimes go into my therapist's office, only talking about my (previous)SO and something she said, feeling proud that I didn't get upset with her about it. Coming out 50mins. later, feeling better. But I would start thinking again about she had said. Either, What she said, couldn't be fully discussed in a mere 50mins., or I was thinking about too much, and giving it far too much importance.

So what did you do?

[Chris516]

So what did you do?

I was thinking about her, and the situation, too much. I was worrying about her too much. I stopped letting it consume my thoughts.

[JC2122]

I was thinking about her, and the situation, too much. I was worrying about her too much. I stopped letting it consume my thoughts.

But did you just like busy yourself or like what did you do? I mean I've tried so many things.

[sasad]

I think that most of us here feel the same about the advise we are offering you after you asked.
We don't do it to be mean, or to confuse you. Most of us have been through this kind and of stuff, or have kids close to your age and your SOs age.
You do tend to fall quickly and then question stuff. Again, most of us here miss our partners, we don't question and accuse etc.

[Chris516]

But did you just like busy yourself or like what did you do? I mean I've tried so many things.

This, in a sense, is where the distance helped. Because it helped that I couldn't just get on my (road)racing bike, and bike over to her house. Also, I got rid of her phone number. She is on Yahoo Messenger. But, The message I received from her on Valentines Day. Was the first time, in almost a year. That there had been any 'communication'. I replied with a friendly message. But I am not pining for a response, like I did when we were an item.

With my (ex)wife. It wasn't as easy. Because, Even after she left me. I could easily go over to her apartment(it was during one of those visits that I made the decision to divorce her). Since we lived in the same county. Until I moved 1,000mi. out of state, two years later.

[JC2122]

This, in a sense, is where the distance helped. Because it helped that I couldn't just get on my (road)racing bike, and bike over to her house. Also, I got rid of her phone number. She is on Yahoo Messenger. But, The message I received from her on Valentines Day. Was the first time, in almost a year. That there had been any 'communication'. I replied with a friendly message. But I am not pining for a response, like I did when we were an item.

With my (ex)wife. It wasn't as easy. Because, Even after she left me. I could easily go over to her apartment(it was during one of those visits that I made the decision to divorce her). Since we lived in the same county. Until I moved 1,000mi. out of state, two years later.

Thank you

[Chris516]

Thank you

My pleasure.