This week has been tough!

[Teacherfairy]

I'm more looking for an outlet than for advice in this post, hope people don't mind!

The guy I'm seeing lives overseas. I've been off work this week, so had lots of time on my hands which I'm not used to! I'm usually so busy!

He fell ill last week. He's fine now luckily, but I've found it incredibly hard not being able to be there for him. We've not spoken as much either as he's had family visiting. We've had the occasional text conversation but he's been slow and distracted which I understand, but have found it all very frustrating. We snatched a 10 minute chat earlier today on his way home from work but im feeling really disconnected from him without our usual level of contact.

Had a lot of time to think this week and have realised he much I really do care about him - and that this is probably going to be harder than I thought it was!

Back to work tomorrow - hopefully a good distraction 😃

[Unicorn26]

I feel your pain!!!

I'm off work at the minute, I've been signed off with stress. This is all very new to me because I don't usually let things get to me but they have.

SO has had an awful lot of issues over the last few weeks. He's had no internet for almost a month (therefore no FaceTime or calls) and it's not going to be back until he end of next week. But, then he has 2 weeks of work lined up that involve travelling all over USA so I'm not going to be able to speak to him for at least another 3 weeks!!!

We usually chat on the phone at least once a day and this is TOUGH. I feel disconnected and I'm nervous about the next few weeks and how it's going to affect me. I hate communicating by text, it's crap!!!

I hope this week you feel better and hope it helps to know that you are not alone!!

[Teacherfairy]

Hi Unicorn!

Oh no I really hope you're ok. Being off work must be really tough as it is.

Will be still have no Internet when he's travelling? I hope you can stay positive - just think how nice it will be when you do finally speak to him again!

I have to confess, it was really nice to hear his voice today, even if it was only for a quick phone call. I've missed chatting to him and, if anything, it has made me appreciate how much I enjoy his company and our chats. I wouldn't have missed it otherwise - so I take that as a good sign I guess!

The only thing I'm worried about is that it doesn't seem to have bothered him as much. He seems very able to focus on whatever it is he's doing at the moment and is happy to just catch up when we both can. I'm much more of a planner and like to know when I'm going to speak to him etc. He's much more spontaneous and laid back and it worries me whether it could become a communication issue.

[Unicorn26]

I think that's just men in general lol!

I think it probably does bother him too, it's just he's been sick and busy whereas you've been well and had a lot of free time to think. It's always tough when your loved one is sick and you can't be there to look after them. That's a typical female nurturing instinct and it's totally normal. I'm a planner, my guy likes to wing it and is very relaxed about the whole thing so I totally understand how you feel.

Hopefully yes he will have internet when he's away, but last time he was working away he didn't and even the phone signal was iffy at best. He's going to be extremely busy, he will be spending a lot of time flying or on the road and when they do get to where they're going he's going to be flat out working. The time zone is against us too. I just have to focus on the fact that he will be paid well for this work and the more work he gets, the quicker we can plan a visit. I'm hoping that will keep me optimistic!

[Teacherfairy]

That's definitely the best way to look at it. It will be worth it when you can finally see him again! I hope it goes quickly for you and isn't too painful. I guess that's what this site is for?

It's been really hard not being able to look after him, especially as we didn't know if it was something serious at first. I would have gone out but his parents went to look after him in the end and we haven't had the chance to meet yet, so it could have been a bit awkward us all staying in his little one-bedroom apartment!

He did talk about taking a holiday soon and coming home for a bit so i guess part of him must be missing me. I just feel like I need some sort of a countdown to seeing him again now. But obviously haven't wanted to push it while he's been ill.

Likewise, the time difference is rubbish. He usually stays up late to chat but has been sleeping normal hours now the parents are about (which of course I want him to do as he needs to make sure he's better!).

It's so hard!!

[Miasmata]

Men are all different and feel different, too, but they tend to be discouraged from being open about how they feel. You know, stuff like "you gotta be a man" and "men don't show their feelings". So it's quite possible he's bothered, but tries to brush it off more.

Stay strong! Sometimes things just suck and that's okay, nothing you can do about that. But it doesn't mean things won't get easier again, either. All the best to you!

[Honour]

Men are all different and feel different, too, but they tend to be discouraged from being open about how they feel. You know, stuff like "you gotta be a man" and "men don't show their feelings". So it's quite possible he's bothered, but tries to brush it off more.

That macho attitude really pisses me off, because my SO does it all the time. The nature of his job demands it, but him separating that side of himself from the guy he is around me is so difficult at times. I understand it, but it's so frustrating!

[Teacherfairy]

That macho attitude really pisses me off, because my SO does it all the time. The nature of his job demands it, but him separating that side of himself from the guy he is around me is so difficult at times. I understand it, but it's so frustrating!

Yep me too. It's also difficult to have 'feelings' conversations via technology. Feel like I need a countdown to seeing him again.

I feel better after getting back into a routine again. Although does anybody else feel like they are just keeping busy and passing the time until they can see their other half again?

Don't get me wrong, I generally have a great social life and amazing friends. But I've felt a shift recently, in that all of them are settled and starting families. Which I am in nowhere near ready for, but I am missing that physical closeness of a partner. More than I thought I would.

But then again I don't want anybody else! Yet part of me needs to know he feels the same to know its all worthwhile.

[Chris516]

I'm more looking for an outlet than for advice in this post, hope people don't mind!

The guy I'm seeing lives overseas. I've been off work this week, so had lots of time on my hands which I'm not used to! I'm usually so busy!

He fell ill last week. He's fine now luckily, but I've found it incredibly hard not being able to be there for him. We've not spoken as much either as he's had family visiting. We've had the occasional text conversation but he's been slow and distracted which I understand, but have found it all very frustrating. We snatched a 10 minute chat earlier today on his way home from work but im feeling really disconnected from him without our usual level of contact.

Had a lot of time to think this week and have realised he much I really do care about him - and that this is probably going to be harder than I thought it was!

Back to work tomorrow - hopefully a good distraction ��

I am glad he is feeling better. Feeling disconnected without the usual level of contact. Is somewhat selfish. Because, It sounds like there is no give in understanding the potential inconsistency of schedules.

[Teacherfairy]

I am glad he is feeling better. Feeling disconnected without the usual level of contact. Is somewhat selfish. Because, It sounds like there is no give in understanding the potential inconsistency of schedules.

Not at all. There is plenty of give and I haven't given him a hard time or anything because I completely understand it. I'm just 'venting' on here because I miss him, that's all.