I dont know if i did the right thing

[TaylorL]

My bf and I've been struggling with the relationship for the past two or three weeks. We had been in a long distance relationship for the last four months. The thing is I was getting tired because I felt like he was not as involved as before and that he was no longer giving me the space I deserved in his life. He even blew me off to go to some bar with a friend when we had plans (skype and a movie) that day. It wasnt like any day. We were turning 6 months as bf and gf and it was a big deal for us... or so i thought. Either way, i broke up with him the next day (it's been two days from that). I was really mad at him for that and for something else we had argued about so i just texted him i thought we needed some time apart. He texted me back "okay". That was tough. "Okay". I then asked him if he was fine with us not being gf and bf anymore and he was. And that was it. Now I must admit our relationship wasnt a bad one. It was pretty good actually. He was supportive and caring and he was frequently telling me how much he cared. It's just that we were fighting so much lately and I'd started to realize we were somewhat different from each other. I also just started college and it's been somewhat stressful and it's hard because I'm here meeting all this new people and at the same time he's not making as much effort as before and... i dont know. At that time, it seemed like the right decision. I was just really hurt that he'd just blew me off like he did, even though i told that it was hurting me (he did acted like kind of a jerk that day and the day after). The thing is, now I'm missing him and I dont know if i rushed in my decision. I do feel like i could use this time apart, but I'm also really confused. I mean our break up was just so... unclear and quick. We didn't even talk about it. I dont know what to do

[Chris516]

My bf and I've been struggling with the relationship for the past two or three weeks. We had been in a long distance relationship for the last four months. The thing is I was getting tired because I felt like he was not as involved as before and that he was no longer giving me the space I deserved in his life. He even blew me off to go to some bar with a friend when we had plans (skype and a movie) that day. It wasnt like any day. We were turning 6 months as bf and gf and it was a big deal for us... or so i thought. Either way, i broke up with him the next day (it's been two days from that). I was really mad at him for that and for something else we had argued about so i just texted him i thought we needed some time apart. He texted me back "okay". That was tough. "Okay". I then asked him if he was fine with us not being gf and bf anymore and he was. And that was it. Now I must admit our relationship wasnt a bad one. It was pretty good actually. He was supportive and caring and he was frequently telling me how much he cared. It's just that we were fighting so much lately and I'd started to realize we were somewhat different from each other. I also just started college and it's been somewhat stressful and it's hard because I'm here meeting all this new people and at the same time he's not making as much effort as before and... i dont know. At that time, it seemed like the right decision. I was just really hurt that he'd just blew me off like he did, even though i told that it was hurting me (he did acted like kind of a jerk that day and the day after). The thing is, now I'm missing him and I don't know if i rushed in my decision. I do feel like i could use this time apart, but I'm also really confused. I mean our break up was just so... unclear and quick. We didn't even talk about it. I don't know what to do

It sounds like he was rather cavalier about everything. So, Talking to him may not have made a difference.

[SailorRei]

well.. if the only thing he wrote back was "okey" after a break-up text, I wouldn't get your hopes high.
You told him you want some time apart- that's pretty obvious things are not going well. If he did not react in any way like phone calls or text asking more about this and you, I'm afraid it might have been a good decision.

Of course you miss him and now question yourself but that's normal. He's making it clear that for him is over, responding "okey" and not seeking more contact with you. Staying in LDR when you start collage is really tough...

Sorry

[TaylorL]

You're probably right thank you i needed that

[hmrambling]

I was really mad at him for that and for something else we had argued about so i just texted him i thought we needed some time apart. He texted me back "okay". That was tough. "Okay". I then asked him if he was fine with us not being gf and bf anymore and he was. And that was it.

When people show me who they are, I have to believe them.

If I were in his shoes and you texted me that we needed some time apart, I would probably text back "okay" because I don't have serious conversations by text. I also don't argue via text. Nor do I break up with folks by texting.

It speaks volumes that these conversations are happening by text.

That being said, if my partner texted me that she wanted space, I'd believe her and that's why I'd respond with "okay." If she wanted space, I'd let her have space. I'd give her the space she needs. The problem here, so many times, is that we buy into songs and movies that tell us when someone asks for space that we should chase them. Most people actually want space when they ask for space, which contradicts what movies and music tells us to do. Did you want to be chased? Did you think that by telling him that you wanted space that he would change his ways? Look at your motivations and be honest with yourself. What did you really want to happen?

It sounds like you want to focus on college. I encourage you to focus on college. Set down your ground rules for relationships. Identify what is acceptable and unacceptable behavior. In the future, when you find unacceptable behavior and ground rules are broken, those are grounds for breakup. When everything is clear in the beginning, it's a lot clearer in the end why it's the end and you know for sure that your decisions are not in haste.

If

[TheSteelAngel]

I feel your pain OP. I am going through the exact same thing myself, and you are lucky you got a reply at all. My ex SO never even gave me a response back when I broke up with him. He refuses to speak to me and I guess I know now what kind of guy he is from doing that. What I've been doing is just trying to find myself again through all of this. Do things for yourself. Do things that you like and make you feel good. There's no point in feeling bad about it or that it was your fault. Just enjoy life and if he really does care about you he'll come back. But you're better than that. Never settle for less.