Cheating Boyfriend :(

[hmrambling]

So my point or questions are for those who have been cheated on especially in a LDR.
Do you think it's worth it to save the relationship? It depends on the relationship. At some point, I decided I was worth more than to stick around with a partner who would cheat on me.
Will it ever get better? What I allow, I condone. What I condone will continue. When it continues, it will get progressively worse.
Will there feelings of sadness and anger go away? If I focus on myself and my own recovery from the relationship, it will certainly go away.
Can you really completely forgive and forget? How? While I have forgiven past indiscretions with my ex, I still have not forgotten even though it has been years since I've been cheated on.

[Chris516]

I am confused by this?
She never thought she was alone... there are so many songs about cheating. Look at all the Country Western stuff..

I was offering some sympathy. You don't know what I meant by saying she was no longer alone.

[sasad]

I was offering some sympathy. You don't know what I meant by saying she was no longer alone.

I guess. Offering sympathy by using a song that's over 30 years old about pain and hurt.. Never thought of that..

[Chris516]

I guess. Offering sympathy by using a song that's over 30 years old about pain and hurt.. Never thought of that..

I was also referring to members(not specific members) on LFAD who have been through a situation similar to the OP. Because, We all individually need support once in a while. When a relationship goes south, for one reason or another.

[sasad]

I was also referring to members(not specific members) on LFAD who have been through a situation similar to the OP. Because, We all individually need support once in a while. When a relationship goes south, for one reason or another.

We all may need support yes, just the same support for different situations is not always going to work. Posting a way old Journey song in multiple places fos situations that don't have anything to do with the topic, or kinda rubbing it in.
But it's not with another comment. So we are done.

[HeartIsInNY]

Well I'm going to give you 2 different pieces of advice as I went through the lying, the smooth talk, and was devastated. But I also took him back after a break and he's been committed and honest since, and I believe that.

1. Tell him to get lost. You caught him red handed. If he is finding ways to cover it up, making excuses, etc, it will be hard for you to trust him ever again. It took me 4 months after I got back with my boyfriend to trust him, and while that part of our relationship is much better, those were hard 4 months for both of us. The anxiety I had is something I would never wish on anyone else. If he really wanted to be with you, and only you, he would not entertain any other female.

2. Feel it out. There is no need to rush right away with a decision. You are in a LDR, so it's harder to judge how someone is when you are not there. If you continue to suspect something, then move on. If he is making the right moves to ensure you have trust in him and know that you are the only women he wants to be with, give him a fair shot to make it right. But don't give him more than one more chance.

[Chris516]

Well I'm going to give you 2 different pieces of advice as I went through the lying, the smooth talk, and was devastated. But I also took him back after a break and he's been committed and honest since, and I believe that.

1. Tell him to get lost. You caught him red handed. If he is finding ways to cover it up, making excuses, etc, it will be hard for you to trust him ever again. It took me 4 months after I got back with my boyfriend to trust him, and while that part of our relationship is much better, those were hard 4 months for both of us. The anxiety I had is something I would never wish on anyone else. If he really wanted to be with you, and only you, he would not entertain any other female.

2. Feel it out. There is no need to rush right away with a decision. You are in a LDR, so it's harder to judge how someone is when you are not there. If you continue to suspect something, then move on. If he is making the right moves to ensure you have trust in him and know that you are the only women he wants to be with, give him a fair shot to make it right. But don't give him more than one more chance.

Excellent advice. Because you gave perspectives to both sides of the equation. Kudos' to you!!!

[whatruckus]

I feel like she already gave him another chance, and he was right back at it. Immediately. How many more chances is she supposed to give? That's 2 right there. He messed up once, and then he did it again. And got caught. Twice.

Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me.

[sasad]

I feel like she already gave him another chance, and he was right back at it. Immediately. How many more chances is she supposed to give? That's 2 right there. He messed up once, and then he did it again. And got caught. Twice.

Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me.

Agreed.

A bunch of us have been there. It's unusual for anyone to change after doing it twice.

[LDRSufferer]

I have been struggling for the past 7 months 15 days with the same question. How to forgive and forget? How to deal with the reality.
Let me know if you ever come up with the answer, please.

[Elizabeth123]

For me ....I would have to decide if the relationship was more important than what occurred. Cheating is a sign of disrespecting your SO and what you've built together. The reality is a trust has been broken. Is your partner able to reassure you and build that trust? Each person knows what they can or can't accept.

[HisLittleBear]

I would not be able to forgive them. He was consistently lying and then said he was done and lied again.