Interracial Relationship

[almaa_25]

I'm a Mexican American and my boyfriend is Caucasion. Lately I have been thinking, I think, a bit too much about how we are part of different ethnic races. I feel soo self conscious... I feel like the fact that he has white skin and I have dark skin totally matters now for some strange reason! I have nothing against white people (obviously) and I think that white, blonde girls are so beautiful! I feel like he is better off with a White American girl than being with me I admire interracial couples and marriages and their children are so beautiful! But lately I don't know why I have been feeling like this... I hope I don't offend anyone who is in an interracial relationship because you rock.

[C.C.]

I am not in an interracial relationship,
but I think blonde white skinned girls are not more beautiful than anyone. Neither are the brunettes with dark skin nor anyone from any race.
Beautiful dark skinned girl is as beautiful as the blonde or, say, Asian beautiful girl.
I mean yes, you look different but that is not a measure of beauty, like at all. I don't know how much this makes any sense though. You should just be proud representative of your race or ethnicity and keep in mind that everyone has their own type of beauty.
P.s. My race is white but I am brunette and in comparison to northern paleness there is a difference. So one day I was showing a picture of a blonde pale girl to my SO and said how beautiful she was and he was like "nah he looks like a generic European". So there are times when guys are into more exotic looks and find it more beautiful because it's not what they see all of the time.

[WarwickGuy]

I'm sure your boyfriend doesn't see it like that. I'm sure he thinks you're very beautiful and he may even have no interest in those 'white, blonde girls' even if he was single. As a man I can say I wouldn't date a girl if I didn't find her attractive (and I'm sure it's the same for him).

As C.C. says everyone has their own idea of beauty. I know white, blonde girls (at least used to be) held as the ideal form of beauty in certain societies, but everyone has a different view. I know girls who wish they were blonde, others who wished their skin was tanned as if they were fresh from the beach (what they view as the race of Latin America), others who change their hair colour every few months to meet a certain trend. Likewise, I know guys who do only want white, blonde girls, but plenty of others who want to date girls with certain combinations of race, hair colour, eye colour, body type etc. Everyone's personal taste varies. Personally, I could date a girl of any race and it depends on a case by case scenario as to whether someone is beautiful in my eyes (I find my Asian girlfriend absolutely gorgeous and very cute).

It's fine if you feel insecure and recognise you are, it means you can overcome it. You may feel conscious and think he's 'better off' with others, but you have to recognise that you are lucky to have him, but also he's lucky to have you! You're lucky to find someone who likes you and cares for you and he's lucky to find someone he finds attractive and who likes him back and visa versa. I'm sure you feel a lot of pressures in terms of appearance and looking a certain way, but again, your bf obviously likes how you look and he obviously does not think he'd be better of with what you consider to be more beautiful.

P.S. No offence taken, because I understand what it's like to feel concious of racial differences while in an interracial relationship.

[Ejoriah]

I am in an interracial relationship... And I'm the first non-white girl my SO has dated. I used to feel as you do... What changed was that my SO never ever told me anything other than I am the most beautiful girl he knows... Not objectively true obviously, but true enough when you love someone so try and trust him. He's with you because he finds you attractive.

[R&R]

As you can see, I'm in an interracial relationship. His mother was Mexican and his father was Irish, but you can really only see the Mexican. I'm about as white as a person can get.

He was raised in a traditional Mexican family. It's very large and family oriented. He cooks all the foods. He's pretty much seen as the head of the family now even though he's the youngest. He's the one everyone comes to for help. Thanksgiving can see 70 people at the house and that's all family! I come from a very small family. He was raised in Texas and me in New Hampshire. Honesty, we didn't have a lot of the same experiences at all growing up. We are only 2 day apart in age (he's older) but though raised in the same generations, we are so very different. We love each other tremendously and none of those differences matter.

No one, either where I live or where he lives, have ever made snarky comments or looked at us funny because we are an inter-racial couple. I love when we are holding hands or laying in bed how my skin looks against his. He loves my white, porcelain skin and I love his darker skin. Each of had that particular attraction. Different can be very good, so try not to let it bother you. He is with you because he wants to be and he loves you for exactly who you are and I'm sure he thinks you are the most beautiful girl in the world.

[Elizabeth123]

We are only 2 day apart in age (he's older) but though raised in the same generations, we are so very different.

I agree with your post...I am laughing because my SO is two months older and I get to bug him about that!.....LOL

[Moon]

Whaaat?? Brown girls are equally as beautiful in every way as a white girl, you're being a little silly about it To a white woman like me, the beautiful thick, dark hair of many brown women makes me so jealous! All cultures have their distinct beauty elements, but we'e all the same when in comes to being gorgeous, so stop worrying about it, there is NOTHING less beautiful about you than any other woman.

[differentcountries]

I am in...2 interracial relationships actually. I have dated my husband for 12 years and have been married to him almost 7 years. He is rather dark skinned, probably more so than you. He was adopted from Java, Indonesia and raised by potato-eating Norwegians. He is very Norwegian... he even likes the horrible Norwegian food I don't like. But he is very dramatic, which I like. We have a saying; when we fold hands, or his arm touches mine, we say the name of a special cake that is brown and white. it can only be made double;it tastes wrong if you make it only brown or only white. So it is like; we are that cake. I plan to make it for our aniversery. He always liked white girls. I used to date very white women, then I changed. I love to take showers with my husband or swim with him, to see the way his skin becomes even darker in water. He doesn't really know his origin, but he thinks he is biracial; his eyes are very wide for someone decending from Indonesia, and he is very hairy as well, so we half believe the roumour story that his father is from Italy.

I have dated my SO almost 2,5 years. I think he is simply beautiful. He has a wonderful, playful personality combined with a very serious, stingy farmer's boy realism. He is darker than most Turks because he is also an Arab, his whole village used to belong to Syria. He has a very Arabic nose, which I like. Both my guys are smaller than me, I am a rather tall white girl and they are small, about the same size. A lot of people think that is a bit funny that I am the taller one, especially if I wear high heals, but I think they are the perfect size. I can be a bit self concious when I am with SO in Turkey outside a tourist area, I know we stand out, especially if I don't try to dress Turkish. When we visit his home town I don't see a single white person usually, and people come up to me and try to speak German to me. In Norway SO was once accused of stealing in a store, pure racism, which made me very upset, I know we will probably have to deal with stuff like that if he moves here. There are cultural differences. I struggled in the beginning to get a hang of the collective social life, and how nothing is planned but very spontanious, I feel I am starting to get it now. His family is enormous, he has 58 cousins. I have different expectations for different countries. I have started to know many Turkish-Norwegian couples, maily white women with medium-to dark-skinned guys. My aunt is in a common-law-marriage with a Kurd from Irak, his skin is about as dark as SOs. Their oldest kid is a teen now, she looks beautiful with those deep, Middle East brown eyes. My youngest sister is married to a guy adopted from Colombia, he is dark and small too. My cousin started to date an Irakian girl last year, her colours are about the same as for SO. Love is love.

I know my guys think my whiteness is sexy to them. Their darkness is sexy to me. Differences are hot.

[snow_girl]

I feel like people are getting interracial and intercultural mixed up.

[whatruckus]

I've only ever been in interracial relationships. My former SO made me feel the best about it. He thought I was beautiful, and never let anyone talk about me. I was also the first Asian girl he'd ever been with.

I also agree that some people find "exotic" girls more beautiful, but it's all about preference. Also, if your SO is happy with you, then there should be no question.

For a very long time growing up, I wished I was white and blonde. Why? Because I thought that's all guys wanted. When I got older, I realized that guys will pretty much date any girl that they're interested in. As long as they're interested in them. So, don't worry about it.

[Chris516]

I'm a Mexican American and my boyfriend is Caucasion. Lately I have been thinking, I think, a bit too much about how we are part of different ethnic races. I feel soo self conscious... I feel like the fact that he has white skin and I have dark skin totally matters now for some strange reason! I have nothing against white people (obviously) and I think that white, blonde girls are so beautiful! I feel like he is better off with a White American girl than being with me I admire interracial couples and marriages and their children are so beautiful! But lately I don't know why I have been feeling like this... I hope I don't offend anyone who is in an interracial relationship because you rock.

Nope!!! Interracial couples are the perfect slap in the face. Towards racial bigots

[Miasmata]

Nope!!! Interracial couples are the perfect slap in the face. Towards racial bigots

This has to be the first time I fully agree with you, but here we are.

[emsimes]

I agree with everyone else- you shouldn't be self conscious. I'm sure you are very beautiful, and I'm sure your SO thinks you are very beautiful, too!
Also, speaking as a white woman with natural blonde hair, I'll tell you that I have met many men who are not interested in me. Yes, it's true that a lot of guys are into blonde women, but I've met many who are more attracted to 'exotic' women with darker skin and brown hair. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder

[honeybunny]

I'm half white, half Arab and my boyfriend is white. I'm not very dark skinned, kinda beige lol but obviously when we are together you can tell we are completely different in terms of race. I honestly think it helps that I was born and raised in England, and so was he. It means we both have a British mentality which helps so much. For a long time I was expected by my Arab father to marry an Arab man and I'd look at my dad and think, I don't want anyone who thinks the way you do. It's just not on my level. Then there's the looks. My boyfriend is blonde with green eyes and it's just adorable. In turn, he loves my dark brown curly hair and dark eyes. I am the first mixed race girl he has dated. I won't say non white as I said I am half white myself. I wouldn't worry about what anyone else thinks. I don't know, maybe I don't care about that kind of stuff because I am used to my parents being in an inter racial marriage.

[Malaga]

Your boyfriend chose to date you though, and you should trust that he knows what he wants. There is no reason you should feel inferior to white girls in any way, but I understand how the media and society can make you feel that way. Interracial relationships can be more or less complicated, depending on how your family and friends react to you dating, but plenty of couples make it work and are happy together so you shouldn't feel discouraged just by that.