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How to bring up communication?

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    #16
    Does he not say that he misses you on his own volition? If he does, believe him. He does miss you. He's a grown man, and doesn't need to be prompted by you if he already tells you that he misses you.

    What was your motive for asking him "or don't you miss me a little?"

    What answer were you expecting? That question is a set up.

    I had an ex that did that all the time, and she certainly was needy. She always prompted me to say how much I cared, if I was thinking about her, and that I missed her. She often said that I didn't care as much and didn't miss her as much. She went so far as to explain that she was a much more emotional and deep feeling person than I am, therefore I could not fathom all that she went through with the distance.

    She intentionally contacted me when she knew I was with friends and family, and did not respect my autonomy. She didn't like for me to hang out with friends or family. She was insecure. I felt like nothing I did would ever be enough, that there was no way that I could ever fill her gaping hole of neediness.

    In the end, it was too much. It was too emotionally draining. It felt like manipulation. And now she's an ex.
    Last edited by hmrambling; March 15, 2016, 05:46 PM.

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      #17
      He hasn't said it. I don't know why. This is the first time I've ever asked him anything of the sort before.

      I think he just takes everything very slowly but I don't know.

      I actually felt really good about our relationship today. He contacted me yesterday and we chatted over messages and on whether I should get instagram. I started it and he followed me right away. First person to like my profile pic. I don't know what happened between then and now.

      He did post sth on FB before I reactivayed mine on Sunday. It said:

      I like what's complicated
      I attract what's difficult
      I fall in love with thes impossible

      Which ,honestly, I actually liked and didn't think was a negative quote. Because they do seem a bit impossible sometimes, LDRs. But then my friend told me I had no future with him because of that. Even though we've discussed when we're we'll live if we make it through the LD and he's mentioned at what phase in a relationship he'd like to get married etc... I don't know how to feel anymore. My instinct tells me he cares and we can make it through but my insecurities and the outside world make me doubt.

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