How to tell my parents

[allstar13579]

So me and my girlfriend met online and have been dating for coming up on a year now and we both are deeply in love with each other but I still haven't told my parents we're dating the only people who know are a few close friends. The main reason I haven't told my parents is because I come from a Christian family and my girlfriend isn't a Christian and my parents know that and I'm nervous that if I tell my parents they're not going lose some respect from my parents and wont let me see her. I've been stressing about this for the past year and I just haven't been able to tell them my true feelings for her, I don't know but I just feel like my parents just won't except the fact it's a long distant relationship and the fact she's not christian. So please give me any advice or your opinion I'll be very grateful for anything

[LivingInWonderland]

Honestly, just tell them. They might surprise you! My boyfriend comes from a Christian family, and I do not. My boyfriend avoided telling his parents about our relationship for a while too, because he thought they would be disappointed and/or upset. They ended up being very supportive and helped us finally meet in person. His mom doesn't like that I am not a Christian, but (now we don't have the best relationship due to other things that have happened over the past year) she was still pretty supportive about it.

I don't know your parents. But I think you should honestly just tell them. Even if they don't end up being supportive, it's okay! This is your relationship, and there is going to come a time in your life where you have to make your own decisions, and choices, regardless of how your parents feel about it. Now I'm not saying their opinions don't matter. Because they do. But they also shouldn't control what you do. Especially as you get older.

Just tell them how you feel. They just may end up surprising you.

Best of luck, whatever you end up doing!
-Ashley

[Kapwned]

The worst they could do is cut off all of your forms of contact from her. Would your parents do that? Would they have the resourcefulness to do it? Mine wouldn't have. They'd delete the internet explorer icon off of my desktop and think they cut me off of the internet.

But you might be surprised. I'd say talk to them individually... not at the same time so that one's response doesn't influence the other, and so if they disagree, you can focus on their concerns individually and you won't end up overwhelmed. Butter them up and let them know that one of the reasons you want to talk to them is so that they know you are safe and so they can be included. Their first concern will always be your safety. Is this person really who they are? Offer to let them talk to her over Skype or something. Or even offer to let her parents talk to them as well (especially if you want visits). My best friend in high school spent years acting utterly angsty and emo over the fact that she couldn't openly be with her boyfriend despite never even attempting to talk to her parents about it. Once she finally took the plunge and did it, they were totally cool about it and she wished she had done it sooner. All they required was a call with his parents before they arranged any visits.

Don't even bring up the religion thing. But I would advise that when visiting your home, that she just be very neutral about your family being religious. I know it can seem unfair to her but she is under their roof, and while she doesn't have to kiss their butt and agree with everything they say, it is not the time to bash their religion. My family is very religious and they still don't know that I'm not religious, so when family tries to discuss religion I just say that there are two topics I do not like to discuss: politics, and religion. Because everyone is entitled to their own belief, stance, and interpretation and it's utterly taboo to talk about it.