Breakup for good or breakup for now?

[Anomalous1]

Hi everyone (sorry if it is long) ,
I am going to put it all out there and be honest. I feel that is the best way to get objective insight. For the last 3-4 months my gf and i have got into an ugly pattern. Like literally ugly. It's like we would be fine and communicating well one week, then the next week it'd be just arguements that turn to silent treatment. Throughout the good, the bad, and the ugly, we'd always make sure to stick it out. I know that despite the distance i couldn't ever replace the love and connection we have. She always reassured me she felt the same.
The arguements have mostly been about the distance. Like when will be finally be physically closer? How will it be done? Who is moving to who? It has been a battle. Then up recently I have noticed that my gf has been spending even more time than usual with her track team which is co-ed. Now at first i didn't jump the gun and accuse her because she doesn't really ever give me a reason to. So on her snapchats and pics I've noticed how happy she tends to look. I know this may sound crazy but I will admit it. There are guys on her team and when she takes group pictures on her phone, some would be in it. I began to have the mindset of why do these guys get to be around my gf more than I do?! Why should anyone get to be around her more than I can?! I know it sounds crazy but frankly that is what was going through my head. After all I have guy friends. I know generally how guys can be. ESPECIALLY males on a team with females. The females are typcially just easy access to getting some to the typical guy. They invite the girls to parties in hopes if scoring and what not. Essentially they try to make the females their groupies.

So I confronted my gf on this. Looking back I could have worded a lot of things better. She continued to cry and reassure me that they just happen to be on the same team. It's not like she's contacting any of them or giving them any real attention. At the time I didn't really listen. This situation combined with the frustrations of not knowing when we will close the distance was clouding my judgement on a lot. I was kinda blinded by rage. After a lot of heated back and forth she told me she was done. Usually when she says she is done we still stick it out. Usually when i say i am done i stick it out. We've both done that. However this time is different. She still follows me on twitter, has me on facebook, and follows me on instagram. So i peaked at her pictures and she deleted all of our picture😯! She blocked my phone number so I can't call her. I have been messaging her in Facebook but she keeps saying rude things. She keeps saying im bad news, she wants to start over without me, leave her alone, there is nothing to talk about etc. The last significant thing she said was maybe we'll talk in the future. Something this important cannot wait in my opinion. She just does not want to hear me out. Both of us are guilty of saying rude things when we are mad but she is taking it to another level!
Maybe I'm a little in denial but this isn't the girl I was with. It is like a sick nightmare. Her heart is completely cold. Is this the end for good? Did i get replaced by some other guy? She's not that type but anything is possible! Should i stop trying to contact her? Why not totally block me on all social networks if she truly stopped caring? Are there other parties influencing her to act this way? I don't want to bug her but i don't want her to forget about me! The hardest part is that if this is the end for good, she is literally robbing me of getting closure. It has really been making me sad. Never thought we would feel like enemies. Thoughts and advice?

[C.C.]

Now at first i didn't jump the gun and accuse her because she doesn't really ever give me a reason to. So on her snapchats and pics I've noticed how happy she tends to look. I know this may sound crazy but I will admit it. There are guys on her team and when she takes group pictures on her phone, some would be in it.

She didn't ever gave you reason to, right? Unless you consider that her happiness is indication of that?

I began to have the mindset of why do these guys get to be around my gf more than I do?! Why should anyone get to be around her more than I can?! I know it sounds crazy but frankly that is what was going through my head. After all I have guy friends. I know generally how guys can be. ESPECIALLY males on a team with females. The females are typcially just easy access to getting some to the typical guy. They invite the girls to parties in hopes if scoring and what not. Essentially they try to make the females their groupies.

Umm, so? So that some guys have that mindset? First of all, not all guys think the same, trust me I have enough guy close friends.
But, MAINLY. You didn't trust her own ability to handle it. You didn't trust that even if someone tried to hook up with her, she wouldn't be seduced and plain deny him. EVEN if those guys' intention was to "score" her, which might happen in ANY environment, you didn't trust her devotion. Period.
And you definitely had no reason given to you by her to do that till the end.

So I confronted my gf on this. Looking back I could have worded a lot of things better. She continued to cry and reassure me that they just happen to be on the same team. It's not like she's contacting any of them or giving them any real attention. At the time I didn't really listen. This situation combined with the frustrations of not knowing when we will close the distance was clouding my judgement on a lot. I was kinda blinded by rage. After a lot of heated back and forth she told me she was done.

And not only you just expressed that mistrust, you confronted her about it. You made her cry. And you were angry.

So now tell me, me after having unhealthy relationship, and on top of that after acting this way, being unhealthily jealous, why do you expect her to stick with you? Do you want to keep hurting both her and yourself much further?

[Anomalous1]

I can't justify my actions or words. All I know that is it's not something i normally do and it was a lapse in judgement. It was a mistake. And had the relationship been continued I'd prove to her that I learned from it and it wouldn't happen again.

[Ejoriah]

If I was with in a rocky relationship with someone who then turned around and accused me of cheating because I looked happy in social media pictures, I wouldn't want to talk to them anymore either.

I really think you need to respect her choices. Yeah, she's blocked you on all social media so clearly she doesn't want you contacting her. Your relationship was rocky and then you accused her on cheating based on pictures on social media, made her feel bad to the point where she was crying and pushed her to the point where she didn't want to deal with you anymore... what closure are you looking for exactly?

[Anomalous1]

Well it's weird in a way because she didn't block me on social media. She just blocked my number and me from messaging her on Facebook. Not that I want it to happen, but I'd expect for her to block me from everywhere but she did not. Idk I just feel we have bounced back from greater situations and did not think it was something that we couldn't solve after talking it out. You know? There have been similar situations where the roles were reversed and i did not want to talk her. However, i no matter how much i didn't want to talk i would listen to her side. Just expected that same thing. It is hard breaking up at all. It seems to hurt more with the distance. It was pretty abrupt. I am not trying to tell her she should take me back but someone like her is hard to let go. It seems like she is letting go super easy

[whatruckus]

Well, I'm going to be blunt, because it's what I'm known for on here:

You accused of her cheating. You are the one with the trust and jealousy problems. She never gave you a reason to doubt her, other than her taking pictures with her FRIENDS and TEAMMATES. You made it out to be more than what it was. She finally got fed up with the arguments and you not trusting her. She said she is done. Yes, she might still have you on some social media, but she blocked your number and then when you did contact her, she was mean to you because she's so mad at you. Can you really blame her? Give her her space. So what if she seems like she's "letting go super easy". She said it's done. That's typically what happens when you really want to end it with someone.

You betrayed her trust of her believing that you trusted her. Just because you would be willing to listen, doesn't mean that she is. She doesn't really owe that to you after you accused of things she wasn't doing. And, a big one here, you made her cry. One thing a girl likes to take pride in about her SO is that he will never break her hurt and make her cry intentionally. That he'll never hurt her. Hell, this goes both ways. You guys already said mean things to each other, and hurt each other.

There's not much here to talk about. You guys were constantly arguing and fighting, and then the whole immature silent treatment thing. Guess what? These are all signs and symptoms of a Toxic Relationship. Not a healthy one.

[R&R]

Walk away. You be the one to remove yourself from the friendship on FB, Instagram, etc. There are consequences or rewards for our actions. The consequence for your mistrust, insecurity and accusations is you are now single. Learn from it. Don't do it again in a future relationship.

In a past LDR, I was with a guy who would do this. He was frustrated with the distance and that I wouldn't move to him asap. He was jealous of any guy I spoke to or hung out with. I let him get away with the attitude, accusations and blowups twice. After the second time I told him, flat out - if you do this again, we're done. You tell me you can't handle it and it's over, it WILL be over. Guess what? Within a week, he was at it again. He told me it was over - and I knew withing an hour or two he'd be back trying. I deleted him off everything, took all our pictures down and changed my status to single. He went ballistic. I told him that if he said it again, I was holding him to it. I'm sure he thought I was letting go super easy too. No, sometimes you just have enough.

[Anomalous1]

Thag is it?

[Anomalous1]

That's it?*

[snow]

Just because she didn't delete you from everything does not mean she is not done. I am connected with my husband on 10-15 different things from social media to game related services, etc. etc. Some of these things I don't use a lot. There is email adresses that still have chat history from ex's and I never thought about deleting them from there, because I didn't need to - the most important ones were gone within minutes and that's all that matters.

Her voice is clearly saying: leave me be, so be a gentleman and respect her boundaries.

[R&R]

That's it?*

What more are you looking for? It's over. You may not get the closure on this that you want but that's how life works - where you don't always get what you want. I'm sure she didn't want to be accused of things that weren't true and made to cry. It's time for you to leave her alone and move forward with your life. Don't be "that" ex.....

[whatruckus]

That's it?*

It looks that way from her end. She's done. Give her her space, as I said before.

[Anomalous1]

Is that what you all would do?

[Anomalous1]

Just wondering because you guys make it sound like a piece of cake to get over someone. Not saying any of you are wrong btw.I just know it's never that easy and I am obviously struggling with that

[C.C.]

It's not piece of cake. But struggling shouldn't involve bothering the other side.
It's about respect and doing something that is better for her not easier. Same applies to you.

P.S. As a side note I never block or remove people from broken relationships or friendships. I do put them offline though, in chat.