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LDR: Feeling a possible vibe change

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    LDR: Feeling a possible vibe change

    Hello,
    So I've been talking with this girl for about almost 5 months now. She lives about 7 hours away. We went to the same high school, shared the same friends, etc. We've talked about doing the long distance thing before and discussed that down the road we would give it a try and put some effort into it to see how it would go.
    We constantly talk everyday through text, snapchat, FaceTime, and Twitter. Always sending good morning and goodnight texts and we keep great conversation throughout the day while giving constant reassurance. She is in a sorority and has a constant busy schedule and I, however, have more time than she does because I don't partake in a fraternity and my schedule isn't as busy so it's hard to plan something with her to meet up with each other. With her being part of sorority she attends many events and parties and is around other guys because of the fraternities.

    Very recently she went to a party and a picture was posted of her kissing another guy on the cheek and had a caption that made it mess with my feelings basically. Next morning, she apologized for posting it and asked if I wanted her to delete the photo. I told her no because I didn't want to seem controlling and what's done is done. I know LDR's are all about trust and that incident hindered my trust a bit. Plus I'm a jealous person so that doesn't help much.

    One last thing that bothered me was how she planned something with one of her former bestfriends (who lives in my state) since elementary school and that was to go to his formal for his fraternity. When I asked about it, she vented to me how she wasn't interested in rebuilding the friendship with him and how he really is a horrible friend. Next day, she tweets about how she was excited to be at the beach for this kids formal. So my thoughts right then was "ok so you just vented to me about how you didn't want to rebuild this friendship and how he really is a horrible friend, but now you're excited to see him in a month?" It bothered me because I've tried so many times to plan something and when it came to this it seemed like she immediately planned something with this person but struggles to do so with me. I even offered to visit her when she's there, whether it be for an hour or a day, whatever. I just want to see her. But she said there basically wouldn't be enough time since she'd only be there for two days.

    This shouldn't be a big deal, but we haven't sexted in a bit as well. It used to be an often thing and now when I try to be spontaneous, as I was before, the subject tends to change rather quickly..

    Am I overthinking this entire situation? Should I explain to her that I'm feeling a vibe change? Is there a vibe changing? I need help.

    Thank you

    #2
    Originally posted by Amartin3423 View Post
    Hello,
    So I've been talking with this girl for about almost 5 months now. She lives about 7 hours away. We went to the same high school, shared the same friends, etc. We've talked about doing the long distance thing before and discussed that down the road we would give it a try and put some effort into it to see how it would go.
    We constantly talk everyday through text, snapchat, FaceTime, and Twitter. Always sending good morning and goodnight texts and we keep great conversation throughout the day while giving constant reassurance. She is in a sorority and has a constant busy schedule and I, however, have more time than she does because I don't partake in a fraternity and my schedule isn't as busy so it's hard to plan something with her to meet up with each other. With her being part of sorority she attends many events and parties and is around other guys because of the fraternities.

    Very recently she went to a party and a picture was posted of her kissing another guy on the cheek and had a caption that made it mess with my feelings basically. Next morning, she apologized for posting it and asked if I wanted her to delete the photo. I told her no because I didn't want to seem controlling and what's done is done. I know LDR's are all about trust and that incident hindered my trust a bit. Plus I'm a jealous person so that doesn't help much.

    One last thing that bothered me was how she planned something with one of her former bestfriends (who lives in my state) since elementary school and that was to go to his formal for his fraternity. When I asked about it, she vented to me how she wasn't interested in rebuilding the friendship with him and how he really is a horrible friend. Next day, she tweets about how she was excited to be at the beach for this kids formal. So my thoughts right then was "ok so you just vented to me about how you didn't want to rebuild this friendship and how he really is a horrible friend, but now you're excited to see him in a month?" It bothered me because I've tried so many times to plan something and when it came to this it seemed like she immediately planned something with this person but struggles to do so with me. I even offered to visit her when she's there, whether it be for an hour or a day, whatever. I just want to see her. But she said there basically wouldn't be enough time since she'd only be there for two days.

    This shouldn't be a big deal, but we haven't sexted in a bit as well. It used to be an often thing and now when I try to be spontaneous, as I was before, the subject tends to change rather quickly..

    Am I overthinking this entire situation? Should I explain to her that I'm feeling a vibe change? Is there a vibe changing? I need help.

    Thank you
    I have to admit, I'm a little confused. You say that you have talked about having an LDR down the road but not right now. So are you currently just friends? If you are just friends, then she is free to do what she wants, see who she wants, kiss other guys, etc. She's not obligated to you in any way, so there is no trust to be broken.

    You need to communicate to her your concerns. Her actions seem to be showing that an exclusive relationship may not be what she is looking for right now. The fact that she is not sexting and changes the subject shows you that she is not in the same place anymore. Only she will be able to give you the real answers.
    To those who dream, nothing is ever far away.

    ​Distance is to love as wind is to fire. It blows out the little ones and fans the big ones.

    Comment


      #3
      You are right about the fact that we are not officially together. However we've always acted as if we were together. Until just recently with the incident i spoke about. Would it be my best interest to explain how I feel and the concerns I've seen? Or should I be patient, go about how we have been, and wait to see if there will be something planned for both of us to look forward to?

      Comment


        #4
        Unfortunately, acting like you are together and actually being a couple are two very different things. Everything she is doing is perfectly acceptable as she is a single woman.

        You can certainly talk to her about how you feel. It's probably better to get it out in the open now and get some definitive answers as to how she is currently regarding what the situation is between the two of you. Whatever she tells you, believe her. It's better to know than sit and wonder about something that may or may not happen.
        To those who dream, nothing is ever far away.

        ​Distance is to love as wind is to fire. It blows out the little ones and fans the big ones.

        Comment

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