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Why does 'goodbye' hurt so much?

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    Why does 'goodbye' hurt so much?

    Hello everyone! This is my first post, so, please. Do not smite me.

    I want to give you a bit of back-story between myself and my partner, we are both under eight-teen, obviously; though. We've equally progressed maturely and I've accelerated with my high-school diploma. I'm sure we are both very young in comparison to some other couples active, and perhaps those with greater hardships. Do not let that dissuade you.

    We have been together for roughly seven months, a bit over; it feels like forever. We had no idea time would fly this fast, but. It did. Oh boy. It did. I had visited her for the first time in December of 2015, December 19th to be exact. It was only a six day trip, and I had earned the seventh day because of flight delays. It was the best time of my life, and I didn't want it any other way. It was so painful heading towards my concourse on that fateful day, I was filled with doubt of parting ways till our next meet. - She had spoken deeply about the sadness that recoiled when she alone entered just a room in her home, or did anything. We became so addicted, it was love-drunken bliss. Why does time blur when everything is going so perfectly? We had planned a second trip nearly eighty days later; that trip would've been two weeks long. She was coming here this time, and that was excitable. We had thought there wasn't a near chance, not with her dads prior protest and dismay. . . We made it happen, we bought her ticket sometime in early February of this year, and it was certain. She was coming for twelve days.

    She landed on March the 9th, early that afternoon. We had been counting down the days for what seemed like forever. - Do you know the inner-warmth that blooms whenever you see your partner after months apart? It was the second time for that matter, that alone made me want to explode with joy. - I'll fast-forward and reach the true discussion of this post. We had made a million memories and declared a million emotions. She had departed this early morning; it was a mess of tears and sadness creating a pit of depression within each others arms. I had to find the strength deep within to pull away, it would've been worse if she had missed her flight. We both knew that we couldn't delay the fateful morning. We couldn't.

    I had returned home that afternoon, and I couldn't even step into my home without feeling the toss and turns of my stomach. She hadn't been at my side, when she was at my side twelve days before. It felt like forever. I went to lay in bed, and cry helplessly. It isn't fair, it wasn't fair. Love is so mysterious. I pleaded into the silent room, as if it'd comfort me in my desperation. I couldn't even bring myself to any other room, as it'd only sadden me further. Appetite and thirst have decayed and I've become numb. I am certain it'll last only a few days, maybe a week at most. We did it once before, and we have some idea of future trips with summer just nine weeks away. We'd get through it, we were strong.

    I'm asking; How do you cope with the pain that lingers in the room that flashes memories? What do you do to ease the suffering?

    (Thank you so much for reading, and I appreciate all responses. Anything and everything will help a lot! - It felt great just expressing, so; that is that.)

    #2
    Expressing your feelings like you did was a great start!
    We all go through this, some for years and years... Does it get easier? Not necessarily, but you learn to deal with the pain a little bit better. Your relationship is new. You are in the honeymoon stage, as some call it. It's ok to feel sad. It is not ok to stop living.

    Give your self a time limit...48 hours or so, not more than a week, to feel sad. Then stop, see friends and live life. Remember the good.. just remember you have to be yourself as well.

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      #3
      Thank you so much! - I will definitely try this!

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        #4
        I just remember the time we had together.

        First Visit: September 2016
        Second Visit: January 2017 (Her birthday)
        Third Visit: June 2018 (medical conference near her home)

        John 3:16
        For God so loved the world. That he gave his only begotten son. For whosoever believeth in him. Shall not perish but have eternal life
        John 4:12
        I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.

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          #5
          Originally posted by MunkaTwo View Post
          Thank you so much! - I will definitely try this!
          Hi need to practice what I preach. He left today after being with me since March 1. Coming home to an empty house is absolutely horrible. Sigh...

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            #6
            I didn't realize how hard goodbye was going to be. The first time we met and spent the weekend together it was hard him leaving on Sunday morning, but this past week we had our second visit and leaving him was SOOOO much harder. I'm grateful that we are only about 300 miles apart and we get to see each other about every other week right now. Does it ever get any easier? I cried for the first 2 hours of my drive home and off and on all day. My house seems so lonely without him being there. Anyone have any tips to make it easier?

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              #7
              You have to put a positive spin on it. My SO has been to my house, my work, in my car, to my favorite spots in the state, etc. The only place I think I can go that we haven't been together is the grocery store! It is pretty much inescapable to go someplace we haven't been. So, I have a choice. I can be in the places and be miserable because he's not here or I can be in these places and be happy with the memories we have created so far. A lot of it is perspective and how you choose to react.
              To those who dream, nothing is ever far away.

              ​Distance is to love as wind is to fire. It blows out the little ones and fans the big ones.

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                #8
                My SO and I are together everynfriday through Monday......technically he LIVES here, but still works 900 miles away. We vacation at least once a month together (just got back from the Caribbean and Disney with the family), yet every Monday is thenHARDEST DAY FOR ME. I STILL count down the hours before he has to leave...and count the hours until he comes back. We are going on almost four years...... His "stuff" is all over this house, and I spray his cologne on the pillows every night....nut I miss him every single minute and can't wait for him to be here for good. Does it get easier....yes. Is it still hard. YES! But I know he loves me and I wouldn't feel this way if he wasn't my soulmate, so we keep on keeping on. It's better than the alternative!
                sigpic

                I love him. Forever. And every day after that.

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