Online LDR

[nickbknl]

Hey everyone,

I'm Nick, I'm 14 (and a half ) years old and I live in the Netherlands. I have a pretty long story, but I'd really appreiciate it if there's anyone that could help me.

I felt like I needed some support so here I am. So does it always feel as a relief when I'm able to tell someone what I'm stuck with.

So it may be kinda silly, but over 3 years ago, around september 2012 (I was 11 years old by then), I was one of those kids that was like addicted to the game Minecraft. So for that I downloaded like a forum app, made especially for that game.

After being on that forum for a month or two, I met this really nice girl named Amy. She lives in North Carolina, USA. Since we met we talked almost every day. A lot. We became really good friends.

I've always been a kinda different guy (you see I'm kind of a nerd and stuff, not tough at all), and it felt so amazing to have a friend that really likes you the way you are, and that cares about you. Since then she has always been my best buddy.

I always felt she wasn't just an ordinary person to me. I know, we never met in person (I really want to tho...), but she started to me more than a friend. We've always had this special unbreakable connection.

In summer 2015, we talked a bit less than normal. Both of us were really busy and we almost didn't have time to talk. Untill at one point, she was gone... We didn't talk for almost 2 months (I also wént to the USA for 3 weeks in that period, not to NC tho), and I started to realize I actually love(d) her. I know the feeling of love very well, and it was so clear to me. She's my everything.

Then, when summer holiday was almost over, I got a text from her. She was back. I won't go into details, but let's just say she apparently had a very dark time in which her parents also took her phone from her, cause they thought that it was the cause of her depression.

We switched to iMessage really fast (gosh finally, I didn't even play Minecraft anymore) and my feelings for her got like two times as much.

Then, at october 17th, she told me she loved me. It was one of the greatest moments of my life. Ofc I told hermy story, and that I did too, and since then we call ourselves a couple. We talk every day, we always make sure the other one is doing fine, we're basically a great couple (we've had some ups and downs tho). We're together since almost half a year now.

But pretty soon after that moment, the feeling of missing her came up. I'm 3 years away from my final exams, so let's say that the first time we could actually meet in real life will be in almost 4 years away from now.

We both really want to go for it, and so have I thought about this a whole lot, but I know what I want. Her. Our connection is so special that I never want to let her go.

But I'm scared...scared that people, including my parents will think I got a relationship with a pedo or something. That they think it's not real... But Í know it is.

I hope you guys have some tips for me, and then I don't mean tips like 'you just gotta let her go' cause that's exactly what brought me here, I feel like you people can actually be a help I really want.

A few questions I'd like to point out are:
-Is this a bad idea? Is this weird? Can I become old with her?
-When and what is the best way to tell my parents about my ldr?
-How can I deal with missing her?
-What is the best way to make sure, that even if something ever goes wrong, I won't regret this choice I made?

If there's someone out there that has some tips, please tell me them. I'd really really appreiciate it.

Thanks,
Nick

[Chris516]

Nick, I am almost 50yrs.-old. So I am 3x your age.

While your parents' could be right about the 'girl' being a pedo.

I did have one 'situation', back in 2001. Where the 'person' wasn't a pedo. But they lived in the former USSR, in the city of Vladivostok. After a while I started to get suspicious. Because, 'She' kept asking me for $ so she could fly to the U.S.. My suspicions grew when I noticed the same exact picture on several different profiles. Then researching(at this point, just for curiosity, not a relationship anymore) it further. I found out that some guy by the name of Boris was posting the picture all over to make suckers out of men looking for love.

You are only freshman in high school. You didn't mention her (supposed) age. You have no definitive proof of her age, and location. If you want to find out the 'general' location she is in. Look at her IP address. So, You will have to learn how to read an IP address.

Now, If there is to be any physical meeting. Your parents' should go with you. Because, Considering the distance, I am sure that her parents', would want to meet your parents'.

[sasad]

Hi Nick,
I am over 50, although I am not sure why that's important..
I have to admit, that you are a very well spoken and articulate young man. And you express yourself and are thinking things through clearly.

I know you have been texting her, but have you both Skyped or spoken on the phone? That would be my next step if you haven't. As a mother of an 11 year old boy, I would be open to my son having monitored conversations. Let them meet her and talk to her.
If it's meant to be, and you both continue to grow together, then yes you could grow old. That has happened to couples before, and could happen to you.
Be open with your parents. Don't hide or sneak. It's hard to be in a ldr. It will be harder for you as you are so much younger.
Keep busy, go hang with your friends, continue to do well in school.
Hope that helps a little.

[Astysuphos]

Hi Nick! I'm from holland aswell~ yayy! im 16 y.o if that would matter or something.. xD I met my bf online aswell and i was very scared to tell my family. Did you guys ever skype or do a call? Because if you have skyped then that would ascertain you that she is real because there are a lot of fake people. I dont think its weird, when i met my bf i was first super scared about him being a catfish but, since there is internet more n more people are meeting eachother online. I dont think itd bad either. Altough i must admid that you are kinda young. As you're still in school you probably wont make very much money either and meeting up would be kinda difficult. The problrm with missinh her can be via skype or maybe sending letters? About how to tell your parents, what i did was wait till we skyped so i myself was 100% sure he was real so my parents couldnt think he was a pedo. A LDR is hard, especially if you are young because opportunitys to meet is super small. If you want to talk about it or anything feel free to send me a msg greets from Holland ;D