Want to become intimate ut im christian..

[Astysuphos]

Hello everyone atm im having a thing im pondering over and i cant find the answer. Im raised in a fairy religious family and i do believe in God. Ive been in my ldr for about 7 months now and we want to take our intimacy to the next step. The problem is, according to the bible you cant have sex before marriage.

The pro's of having sex would be,
- i would really like to try with him because i love him so much and i think having sex would be awesome with him just to share our feelings and be one.

the cons are
- i would violate the bible
- i would dissapoint my family/trust which would make me feel guilty.

its just that i really dont want to dissapoint my family or violate god or anything idk... but i also wanna follow what i want so i just dont know and i cant make a descision either. As far as i know there is nowhere in the bible saying specifically no sex before marriage but it does say between husband and wife or having sex with someone you want to be with your whole life. Ofc i wanna be with him forever but when im realistic there are a lot of people breaking up after years of a lovely relationship and i dont know what will happen in the future.

Do you have any advice?

[snow_girl]

My advice is do what you want, religious ideologies are outdated and as long as you love everyone and are a good person , then following some 2000 year old rule is silly

[R&R]

Hello everyone atm im having a thing im pondering over and i cant find the answer. Im raised in a fairy religious family and i do believe in God. Ive been in my ldr for about 7 months now and we want to take our intimacy to the next step. The problem is, according to the bible you cant have sex before marriage.

The pro's of having sex would be,
- i would really like to try with him because i love him so much and i think having sex would be awesome with him just to share our feelings and be one.

the cons are
- i would violate the bible
- i would dissapoint my family/trust which would make me feel guilty.

its just that i really dont want to dissapoint my family or violate god or anything idk... but i also wanna follow what i want so i just dont know and i cant make a descision either. As far as i know there is nowhere in the bible saying specifically no sex before marriage but it does say between husband and wife or having sex with someone you want to be with your whole life. Ofc i wanna be with him forever but when im realistic there are a lot of people breaking up after years of a lovely relationship and i dont know what will happen in the future.

Do you have any advice?

Wait until you are ready and can make a decision based on what you feel is right for you and what you believe. There is no rush to make this decision. I grew up in Baptist/Christian household. Yes, I had sex prior to marriage. Many of my friends waited until they were married. Don't let someone discount your beliefs just because they don't believe the same - you aren't harming anyone if you choose to wait.

[Cup]

Hello Astysuphos!

I grew up in a strict religious family. Yes i did have sex before marriage and still am. I am not going to tell you what is right or wrong, specially according to your religion. I will , however, tell you to have sex when you are 100% ready. I did. I had sex when i was 19-20 and never regretted it at all. I hear stories about how friends of mine had sex just because other friends were already having it or because the other person were forcing them, or because they were afraid they were going to lose him.

Have sex when you are ready. You will know cause everything inside you will "click". You will know when it is the right time for you, i can't explain it any better , i apologize.

Sex is very personal and it is your body to do whatever you like with it. Whenever you decide to share this moment with another human being, educate yourself first. As i said it is your body and you have to protect it too.

Take your time to figure this out, there is no rush!!

Take care!

[Astysuphos]

Wait until you are ready and can make a decision based on what you feel is right for you and what you believe. There is no rush to make this decision. I grew up in Baptist/Christian household. Yes, I had sex prior to marriage. Many of my friends waited until they were married. Don't let someone discount your beliefs just because they don't believe the same - you aren't harming anyone if you choose to wait.

Its not that i feel pressured. I know he wants to wait for me till im ready. Its more that im afraid to dissapoint my parents

Hello Astysuphos!

I grew up in a strict religious family. Yes i did have sex before marriage and still am. I am not going to tell you what is right or wrong, specially according to your religion. I will , however, tell you to have sex when you are 100% ready. I did. I had sex when i was 19-20 and never regretted it at all. I hear stories about how friends of mine had sex just because other friends were already having it or because the other person were forcing them, or because they were afraid they were going to lose him.

Have sex when you are ready. You will know cause everything inside you will "click". You will know when it is the right time for you, i can't explain it any better , i apologize.

Sex is very personal and it is your body to do whatever you like with it. Whenever you decide to share this moment with another human being, educate yourself first. As i said it is your body and you have to protect it too.

Take your time to figure this out, there is no rush!!

Take care!

Thank you very much did you feel guilty towards your religion or family? My parents just talked about it and i had to lie about it which made me feel really guilty. Its funny how that contradicts my feelings i felt when my bf was here 2 days ago. When he was here i felt all ready and tbh if he had condoms it actually might have happened. The biggest problem might just be the guilt.. :I

[Chris516]

Hello everyone atm im having a thing im pondering over and i cant find the answer. Im raised in a fairy religious family and i do believe in God. Ive been in my ldr for about 7 months now and we want to take our intimacy to the next step. The problem is, according to the bible you cant have sex before marriage.

The pro's of having sex would be,
- i would really like to try with him because i love him so much and i think having sex would be awesome with him just to share our feelings and be one.

the cons are
- i would violate the bible
- i would dissapoint my family/trust which would make me feel guilty.

its just that i really dont want to disappoint my family or violate god or anything idk... but i also wanna follow what i want so i just don't know and i can't make a decision either. As far as i know there is nowhere in the Bible saying specifically no sex before marriage but it does say between husband and wife or having sex with someone you want to be with your whole life. Ofc i wanna be with him forever but when im realistic there are a lot of people breaking up after years of a lovely relationship and i don't know what will happen in the future.

Do you have any advice?

You said you are a Christian. So stick to the Bible. You don't need to have sex, to take your relationship to the next level.

[Astysuphos]

Its not that i wanna take it to the next lvl desperately xd i just want to make love with him because i think thats a wonderful thing but i feel a bit of guilt

[Chris516]

Its not that i wanna take it to the next lvl desperately xd i just want to make love with him because i think thats a wonderful thing but i feel a bit of guilt

I know my answer may have seemed callous, and blunt.

I don't know what Christian denomination you are. I am Lutheran. Within the Lutheran church. There is the ELCA(Evangelical Lutheran Church of America), LCA(Lutheran Church of America), LCMS(Lutheran Church-Missouri Synod), and the WELS(Wisconsin Evangelical Lutheran Synod). I used to be a member of the very Liberal ELCA. When I divorced my (ex)wife, I switched to the LCMS. Because it is more conservative. But, My mentioning the 'differences', within the Lutheran Church. Was because the WELS is so conservative. That chaperones' are needed for dating. Sort of like the 1950's.

[Astysuphos]

I know my answer may have seemed callous, and blunt.

I don't know what Christian denomination you are. I am Lutheran. Within the Lutheran church. There is the ELCA(Evangelical Lutheran Church of America), LCA(Lutheran Church of America), LCMS(Lutheran Church-Missouri Synod), and the WELS(Wisconsin Evangelical Lutheran Synod). I used to be a member of the very Liberal ELCA. When I divorced my (ex)wife, I switched to the LCMS. Because it is more conservative. But, My mentioning the 'differences', within the Lutheran Church. Was because the WELS is so conservative. That chaperones' are needed for dating. Sort of like the 1950's.

Ahh ic im evangelical christian but my family is very religious. Atm im having a bit of trouble understanding the bible and God. Its very difficult for me. I do believe there is a God but if i read in the bible God seems very ruthless aswell. So its hard for me to get through thats why i might be so indescisive whether i want to 'violate' the rules in the bible. On one hand i think the bible is a guideline but it feels like a law sometimes aswell and i dont want to regret anything later in life..

[Chris516]

Ahh ic im evangelical christian but my family is very religious. Atm im having a bit of trouble understanding the bible and God. Its very difficult for me. I do believe there is a God but if i read in the bible God seems very ruthless as well. So it's hard for me to get through thats why i might be so indescisive whether i want to 'violate' the rules in the bible. On one hand i think the bible is a guideline but it feels like a law sometimes as well and i don't want to regret anything later in life..

Would you like to discuss this outside of the forum? Just between you and me? I promise I won't 'rake you over the coals'. I am offering that, one Christian to another. So we can straighten any Biblical confusion you may have.

[snow]

Ahh ic im evangelical christian but my family is very religious. Atm im having a bit of trouble understanding the bible and God. Its very difficult for me. I do believe there is a God but if i read in the bible God seems very ruthless aswell. So its hard for me to get through thats why i might be so indescisive whether i want to 'violate' the rules in the bible. On one hand i think the bible is a guideline but it feels like a law sometimes aswell and i dont want to regret anything later in life..

In the end, the only one who will judge you on what you did or didn't do is God himself, so really, giving you advice on if you should follow the bible or not is not on us, it's on you. Everyone has to make their own decision and I will neither tell you to do it nor not to, because it's something you will have to live with, not me.

I recommend reading the bible and making your own decision. Yes, in some parts God seems ruthless, but imagine how you'd feel if you'd ask your children to do something and they do the complete opposite, it'd be frustrating, right?

[differentcountries]

I wondered many of these same questions when I was your age. I wonder, what is your contact with youth in your church or others you know who are religious? Is this something you want to discuss with others? There are probably Bible studies classes you can take, or you can do self studies.

You are legally old enough to have sex. I assume you have acess to and knowledge of birth control and protection against sexually transmitted deseases. If you chose to have sex, it should happen when you are sober and sound. It would also be good to discuss what this is supposed to mean to you. Are you on your way to be engaged? If you look at statistics, the majority of Christians actually have sex before marriage, it is just they usually have it with just very few people, typically their fiance before marriage.

The truth is that neigher of us know what God's message is, we can only guess. Usually, the Bible (and mostly, the New Testament) is taken as to have some historial sides (we no longer keep slaves, or are obliged to keep Hebrew diet laws) and some transhistorical messages. I have struggled with the usual interpretation of the Bible because I used to live as a lesbian in the past. I have also had sex and lived together before marriage, and now I practice polyamory. I am also very religions, being a minister's daughter I have always belived in God, I pray and I go to church. I belive that God has a plan for every person, and that a big part of that plan is to make sure we don't uneccesary hurt others and ourselves. You need to decide for yourself how to live your life in such a way that that goal can be acheived. And you don't need to tell your parents if you have sex. Your sex life or lack of a sex life is between you and the other person, and between you and God. I am not against saving yourself for marriage, if that is what you want to do, my parents did it, and my sister and her now husband did it and it worked out very well for them. There are many ways.

[Miasmata]

The bible is not a literal law book, and should never be seen as such. In the end, it's up to you to find the answers you seek, and find your path in your faith. Your faith is there to empower you, to make you the best version of yourself you can be, not to guilt you. If you feel it's truly right for you to make love, then as long as you do it safely, with the right person and with protection, you have nothing to feel guilty about. Ask yourself why you want this and if you feel it will be safe and right, and decide from there. God has given you the power of choice, and I think you should definitely use it. Whether you end up saying "I want to wait for marriage" or "I don't want to wait for marriage" doesn't matter in the sense that neither option makes you less good and honorable of a Christian. Decide for yourself and your wellbeing!

[Cup]

Thank you very much did you feel guilty towards your religion or family? My parents just talked about it and i had to lie about it which made me feel really guilty. Its funny how that contradicts my feelings i felt when my bf was here 2 days ago. When he was here i felt all ready and tbh if he had condoms it actually might have happened. The biggest problem might just be the guilt.. :I

I have to be honest, being raised in a strict religious family, well , mother mostly, turned me into a non-believer. I do respect though people who do believe. So by the time i was 19, i was ready even when it came to the religion i was brought up with. I mean, guilt is a factor in your decision, this means you are not ready yet, not because the bible says so, but because you need to dig deep down inside and find peace with what you believe in and why. I used to feel guilty just thinking of a boy. Guilty because of religion and my mother. I searched my soul and lets say i found my path. This doesn't mean you need to stop believing, but you can accept that sex before marriage and religion can go together. Just try not to make a decision that makes you uncomfortable in any way.

Hope it made sense!

[hmrambling]

I'm Christian, and I waited for sex in the relationship that I am in. However, I did not wait because the Bible told me to do so, I waited because I wanted to take the time to get to know my partner. I wanted to wait until the time was right for us to have sex. I wanted to know more about my partner and have a deeper relationship before having a physical relationship. Basically, I followed my conscience.

It's okay to wait until you can have sex in good conscience.