Getting back together...

[paulawriteslove]

I'm glad to hear that you two are going to try it out one more time But I do think that you should two should have a little talk tomorrow Best of luck!

[Caitlin2009]

honestly you two were broken up and you had the right to date anyone you wanted so he has no reason not to trust you, he's just being very clingy and i wouldnt like that myself my ex was like that bleh.....as for taking him back well thats up to you, personaly in my opinion i think he's a little too clingy and you should find someone else but thats up to you

[uk_girl]

i rarely post on here, but i thought i should say something.
your guy seems clueless, who suggested the break in the first place?
i assume no one said "no dating during the break" and whatnot, so why is he complaining?
mayb its not entirely trust issues, mayb its just him being jealous. before you jump into being with him with both feet, make sure you guys don't have stuff like this lurking about.

good luck to you both

Hey there you should post more often...you make really good points

Nobody said to each other that we cannot see anyone else when we broke up. As I figured we'd broke up on the 5th Feb for good, I was coming to terms with the idea of him having another relationship and us perhaps drifting apart.

I'm quite a jealous person too admittedly which is from past issues...but I've several self-help books I plan on starting when I get chance so I can get better If I suggest he reads them too then he won't, as he's very stubborn. He won't talk to anyone about it either as he's very private.

He text me about 45mins ago saying he'd be on MSN for 9:30...he's not and he's not answering my question as to if he is even home yet. He's really not helping my insecurity issue lol!

I'm glad to hear that you two are going to try it out one more time But I do think that you should two should have a little talk tomorrow Best of luck!

Thanks Paula, I plan to say everything that is on my mind. Though 2 weeks ago when we did, we both broke down and just ended up cuddling for ages really upset Hopefully I will be able to get a grip this time!!!

[uk_girl]

honestly you two were broken up and you had the right to date anyone you wanted so he has no reason not to trust you, he's just being very clingy and i wouldnt like that myself my ex was like that bleh.....as for taking him back well thats up to you, personaly in my opinion i think he's a little too clingy and you should find someone else but thats up to you

I hear what you're saying there Caitlin

But surely if he was clingy then he'd be texting me all the time asking what I was doing, who I was with etc...he never ever does that?!

Confused! :s

[maielle]

Now it seems more like he is overly jealous of you. I mean, I guess you love him when you want to try the relationship again, but I have to say his behavior reminds me of these creepy men who won't let go of their ex wives... And then the women always return to them even if the man is controlling and manipulating them. I really hope your situation is far from that.

I mean, if you broke up, it's none of his business where you travel, who you date and what you do. Seriously. He can't blame you for that. He seems to want to control you even if you're not together. Maybe not texting is a way of controlling? Waiting for you to reply and getting angry if you don't.. Making you text again (to make sure you're not controlling him) and then getting angry if you ask for a text. Are you sure he's not narcissistic?

Sorry if I've offended you with these comments but I just want to make sure you've thought of that as well. I'm sure you're a smart girl and know how to make your own decisions. That just popped into my head. I am probably totally wrong, though.

[artfuldodger]

u think i should be a professional and start charging since my points are that good..LOL

well i think you shouldn't beat yourself up and stress out with reading self help books. i really don't think there's a need for that.
and be prepared for anything because if push comes to shove, you might need to make tough decisions.am sure you don't want to be playing up and down games if he cant make his mind up.

[Zephii]

It sounds like a case of "I don't want her, but I don't want anyone else having her either" which is just dumb. I think you need to tell him that if he wants you, he needs to say so or to let you go get on with your life. There's no point waiting for someone who might not even want to be with you.

[Čternity]

Hm maybe I'm wrong but you seem to be getting the blame for everything? From the nagging to not realising you weren't single even when he told you that you were single. I guess you need to get on the same page about stuff. Some clarity about where you both are at and how you are going to make this work. Without agreement, you get into misunderstandings and miscommunication and it will go down hill fast. Hope it goes well.

[LadyMarchHare]

Reading through this thread, I agree with Zephii and maielle. It seriously sounds like a case of possession/control where he may consider you his property, but he doesn't really want to put any effort into you or actually be with you.

Honestly, if I had to deal with a guy like that his happy behind would be getting road rash from me booting him down the street. No one needs those mind games, especially with the track record you guys seem to have.

[Karringtyn]

Hmmm. Hi! Nice to meet you. I also agree that the way he is treating you is very disrespectful. Shakes head....

I hope your time together tomorrow is nice...and I hope you two can open up.

And to answer your question...oh yeah...he sounds VERY insecure himself....

[MadMolly]

I know I'm just a stranger and everything and I probably have no place in saying this: but please don't get back together with him. He does not treat you right and I know, I have been involved with someone like this in the past, I know that there is no way to make them see rationally with their insecurities. You have done nothing wrong. You are not even with him officially and he still doesn't treat you right. This guy is bad news. I know that love doesn't let you choose very much but think about this long and hard and maybe look at how absolutely bizarre he seems from an outsider's perspective. I hope things go well for you when you go and see him and you end up making a decision based on your experiences and whether or not they are worth it.

I don't mean to cause offense or anything so if my post was out of line, I'm sorry. I thought about it for a while before I decided to post.

[Andy]

Hey it's nice to see you back

Unfortunately it seems like it's the same sort of problem

I really feel for you, you're not getting what you deserve at all. I hate to say it but I tend to agree with maielle, artfuldodger, LayMarchHare, Zephii and even Molly if I'm honest

You said this yourself:

People have said that it could be a case of he doesn't want me...but he doesn't want anyone else to have me either.

I think that's exactly what is is. This post hit the nail on the head in my opinion:

Reading through this thread, I agree with Zephii and maielle. It seriously sounds like a case of possession/control where he may consider you his property, but he doesn't really want to put any effort into you or actually be with you.

Honestly, if I had to deal with a guy like that his happy behind would be getting road rash from me booting him down the street. No one needs those mind games, especially with the track record you guys seem to have.

You've given him chance after chance and he still doesn't treat you right, not like you deserve to be treated. It sounds like he's messing you about and it's really not fair. Obviously you have very strong feelings for this guy, which makes it even harder to make this sort of post, but you're 21. You're young and you can most certainly do so much better than this guy. He doesn't deserve you. It's constantly you who's putting in the effort in this relationship.

I think the point about him thinking you cheated on him has been well covered but I have to just say - what the hell is he thinking? artfuldodger said all that needed to be said with regards to that, he's got a screw loose if he really believes that. He doesn't own you but it seems like he might think he does.

I hate to give this sort of advice to someone who has such strong feeling for someone but for your sake, let him go. He doesn't deserve the effort you're putting in, which clearly isn't being reciprocated. I'm sorry

But you won't be short of offers, I assure you that. Especially being such a huge football fan

I wish you all the best, I really do. *hugs*