Advice needing

[Gwonjas]

Well before I start my speech I hopes no one is bad mouthing/comment on me because I need just a good advice only. I will try to shorten my words as much as possible and make it clear.

I meet her in a mobile game. I fall in love with her so much. She was so amazing and beautiful that I just can't get my eyes off her. Both of us are living in different country too. Almost 4months that we are in this long distances relationship and haven't met up yet in real life but I'm planing to met up with her soon. I found myself changed a lot. I'm into a gamer and a multi tasker now because of her too. Almost all of my time is given to her except sleeping,lol. We talk , we play and we even make love inside game we both playing by now. Like 12-14hours everyday both of us are online on the mobile game. It seems very crazy this way but i feel so happy to doing so with her. She's the most perfect and some imperfection person I ever found. I accept her everything because I love her too much. There's a few times we both had argument because of game and then she take it personally and suggested wants to end up our relationship. I tried and keep on trying to maintain calmed and not to agree to the suggestion. I really don't wanna losing her in my life. I've chosen her to be my forever and future too. In my part I can delete the game for her cause I'm thinking we deserve more than just meeting up on the game right? But well since she is into a gamer from the start , I don't think she will delete the game and put us into a better/new life together. Gaming wont make our relationship goes any better. Let me be open for few things we ever had an argument before and please do give me some best solution and advice too.

1st. The game we played is a type of dancing app. Both of us are a couple in the game and real life too. There is some few hours everyday that she will be away from my sight to clear daily quest and I do believe her so much. What I don't understand is,is it daily quest is more important than her BF and then why have to leave me for so many hours? Well I do have daily quest as well but I put her to be more important than clearing my quest and not to leaving her to be alone so I rather not clearing my daily quest. Is it stupid this way?

2nd. Whenever a boy player trying to get her attention I do feel very jealous and upset too. I know her didn't and won't do anything that will betraying me. In the same way I won't betraying her at all. I do my best to keep myself away from every girls player for her to not letting her be jealous. But what did I get back? She did do talking with those boys player and what's making me feel really upset is she talking in her own country language rather using English that will make me understand to them right? And so I rather act being stupidly in front of them and don't ask to what they are talking.

3. I always know whatsoever she's doing she are in love with me too but sometimes love just ain't enough. The ways I know she is loving me is the way she show jealousy,she gets mad even just a small matter and she is coming back for me whenever I let her to go.

Ps. Tell me what can i do

[Stanislava]

Hey welcome to the forum.First i want to ask , have you talked on video call?i think thats an important part of long distance relationships.If you have you know she is a real person after all (i am not saying she isnt but safety first).
Second , you guys are two Separate individuals.You are whole on your own.You should have time for yourself and she is totally right for doing her daily quests and then talk to you.Love and relationships shouldnt be about sacrifice!Yes when you love somebody you want to spend all the time in the world with them but this builds dependency and unhappiness after a while.So give her the space she wants.And make time for yourself too!Do what you must and spend some alone time.Trust me this makes the relationship better in fact because you keep your lives interesting outside the relationship and have more to talk about for example.
Third , jealousy is annoying i know.Its okay for her to talk with other guys especially in a game.She is using her native language because perhaps its easier for her.You have the right to talk to other girls too - ingame or outside the game.If a person is loyal ,loving and caring you dont have to worry about that.
All of these things are normal for a new relationship tho so dont worry you arent the only one who is going/has gone through this!But you should understand that you are a separate person with separate passions, interests, hobbies,views,values and ways.You should work on your own life and develop yourself while being in a relationship.A relationship shouldnt make you selfless.It should help you grow and become the best you can be!i wish you all the best

[Gwonjas]

Thanks in advance at first.

I get your point.
Both of us are not even had a voice call yet so none video-call too. Her reason is she's shy. So I respect her and wait another time again. Btw I'm not complaining about she can't do anything that she wants to do but in fact she act so different compared from before till now. I can't tell it here cause for privacy reason.

[sasad]

Thanks in advance at first.

I get your point.
Both of us are not even had a voice call yet so none video-call too. Her reason is she's shy. So I respect her and wait another time again. Btw I'm not complaining about she can't do anything that she wants to do but in fact she act so different compared from before till now. I can't tell it here cause for privacy reason.

No voice call??? How do you know that its even a female???

[whatruckus]

Is there a reason you cross posted this? One thread is fine, most of us read the Activity Stream so every post that gets made shows up there.

I agree with the replies in both of your threads. How much communication do you guys have outside of the game? Whether she's shy or not, 4 months without a voice call seems odd to me.

I think you need to loosen up a little bit. Being in a relationship doesn't mean that you try to spend your time with your SO 24/7. Everyone needs a little "me" time.

And, if you trust her, then trust her. From what you've written, she hasn't given you any reason to doubt her...other than your own insecurities getting in the way.

[Stanislava]

I understand.For 4 months you really had to make atleast a voice call.I suggest you really talk to her about this.Ask her for a voice call and then maybe a video call.Personally i was very shy too at first when we made a voice/video call but i really wanted to hear/see the person i love so i did it no matter how shy i was.This is very important for your relationship!You cant keep a text based relationship!it wont meet your needs and you wont be happy for long.Im curious , how old are you both?

[Gwonjas]

There's a few times I do a test on her in none so obviously way to making sure she is a female. I do trust her that she is the actual person from all the selfie she had send to me. Odd right ? Hahaha

[Gwonjas]

First. Communicating with her outside the game seems like err once a week or maybe it goes up to twice a week but not really have long long chatting beside just chatting while online on the game.

Second. I do talk to her that gaming won't make our relationship goes further and she did agree to me too. But well ATM when she fall asleep I used to login her account to make her off at her part and so I off too. Then I take the time I had to keep her updated on what's I'm doing at and so on as she ever requested me to do so for her. Myself work night shift from 7pm-3am so everytime she will be sleeping already while I'm still working. That's why I agree to keep her updated so by the time she read my text she will don't have to worry about me. Then I do get her text by the time when I'm sleeping while she's already waking up but I never saw more than just Good Morning cause she will be on the game already. I really don't understand what's she really up to and wants from me. I feel I'm like a doll more than human for her,lol. I'm okay with that cause she is spending her "gaming" time only with me as I feel like she is right by my side although I'm still feel lonely inside.

Third. Personally I do take her for granted a bit but I still believe in her so much cos she makes me feel like we are not really in relationship in a relationship should be

[Gwonjas]

Since you've asked. I'm 25 and she is 19. Do you know why we can't even had a voice call at all? First Blame it on smartphone that can't multitasking app Second we don't chat much outside from game Third she reject by giving "I'm still shy" as reason. I had no idea what's she is up to on her mind really. Like I've said on first thread sometimes love just ain't enough.

[whatruckus]

Hm. Well, then I really think you should make it a point to have some sort of chat with her. Either Skype or Phone call, or Google Voice. Why do you only chat mostly in the game? Is it convenience? Seems strange to me that you consider yourselves to be a couple in and out of the game, yet most of your communication is solely through the game.

[Gwonjas]

In my case it is very rare. That's why I'm so headaching. There is no more than just one reason why do both of us are chatting in game more than out off gaming,it is because she will not off unless she is sleeping. Aside from chatting inside game we do chat on Line since myself don't have any other social apps that can connected to her. I do think of trying to want creating an account like Facebook/Skype and exactly but then I'm in my mind I'm thinking to what is the good of myself to create an account on such of social apps since we won't have the chance to use it to chat and stay connected,right? She is into open relationship as she will introducing myself as her LDR BF to her friends(in game). She ever explained to me that her parents is not allowing her to be in a relationship cos she is studying right now and at last year of college too so I don't think she will introducing me to her family. What I'm thinking is, did any of her friends(real life) do knowing me as like exactly the same what she did in game..I will try to found it in not so obvious way,lol.

[sasad]

Againn, have you ever heard her voice on the phone? How do you communicate outside the game? Just texts?

[Gwonjas]

She do sending me few times of voice messages.

[Astysuphos]

Hi!

First of all, welcome do LFAD!

Tbh, it seems kinda strange to me, i dont judge you for falling in love online, let that be clear i did that aswell, but having a relationship with someone you cant even be 10000% sure she excists seems a bit odd to me. Ofcourse i dont know anything much about your relationship but when i really fell in love with my bf after 5 months i first wanted to skype with cam to make sure i wasnt falling in love with a catfish. Especially because its a game and its so easy to change gender and pretend you are someone else. Please i would really advice you to make sure she is a 19 y/o female you think she is. Even though she says she is shy. Tbh i longed for a skype call 9 months ago even though i am super shy but i was just so in love i wanted to see him I think its really nice you are being so considerate to her but i dont think you can build up a lifetime relationship like this since you dont communicate outside of the game life. A relationship is supposed to be real life, even though you met ingame.

Second, in a relationship, sure its nice to be together and communicate lots but you still have your own life. Especiall in a LDR its important to have your own busy social life because you cant see eachother often at all and its super frustrating for yourself if u wanna keep track of your SO alltime

I wish you the best of luck and feel free to ask me for more advice about skyping or anything