After our first meeting

[Gracehopper]

Hello there! i'm a first timer here, but i want to share something and receive advice as well. Me & my boyfriend meet in one of the online dating site. during that time everything was fine, video calls, sweet messages, etc. after 2 months we decided to meet for the first time. he went to me and decided to have a short vacation in Vietnam. during our stay there, i feel loved, everything is great! like we are in one place that there's no other people except us. long and sweet conversation is there. holding hands wherever we go, hugs and kisses. those part are the best. after our vacation ends and he needs to go back to Poland, but before that i asked him if in somehow he changed mind and he say "nothings changed" maybe i was thinking too much, having a separation anxiety. i do love him. i do treasure everything, but in some point i'm afraid of something i didn't know. i don't event have any assurance, i don't know if is only saying that nothings changed because we're still together, but what if he go back to his country, are we still ok? or in somehow everything will change. he is working as an engineer and i do events. we both have a stressful job. we had a small fight before he leaves, what i told him maybe we can change something, both of us have this different attitude. he keeps on explaining and pushing that he is right, but me i don't talk too much, once he raised his voice i will not talk but he don't want that kind of attitude of me. sometimes if i feel very tired of explaining and he will never stop talking i will just quiet and cry. i don't know how to handle him in that scenario, but whatever happens i still love him deeply. i don't want to give up on him, but what if he already gave up? i don't know what will happen to me next. i'm tired of starting from the scratch. i don't know what's next for the both of us. a lot of things running into my mind, some are, should i visit him, should i look for another job next to him, etc.
the separation anxiety makes me sick!

i hope someone i can talk too.

Thank you,

Grace

[sasad]

What if one of you wakes up and gets hot by a truck??/ Not to sound harsh, but you are spending so much time wondering about the what ifs and not enjoying your relationship. So may people will tell you that if you nag and continually push and push, that something WILL give and it may not be what you expect.
If he says he is still in it, then you need to relax and believe him unless he says otherwise... You both need to TALK and you need to decide what it is you want.. Changing a job and life to make someone else happy?? Um no, you do stuff like that for yourself.. ( granted there are some jobs that can stress a relationship, like pole dancing etc) but you knew what he did and he knows what you do. Now, if he is truly yelling at you and telling you what to do and how to act, that is a different story. That is a relationship you do not want to have. Someone else controlling you and what you do is NOT healthy.
Its hard for me to understand if he is being a bully or you both just are not communicating clearly?

[Gracehopper]

Hello Sasad,
i appreciate what you say. maybe i just think too much and maybe i'm afraid that this relationship won't work like some long distance relationships.
maybe i'm afraid of starting from the scratch again. but i know, if we're both meant to be, it will be! no matter how far we are if it's for us, it will be for us. my friend told me we should put a goal. 2 people should do his/her part for this relationship to work.

Thank you

[Chris516]

Separation anxiety?

[Gracehopper]

for being together and suddenly we need to separate again, i hate sending him in the airport and will take too long again before i see him again