Good news and bad news

[Elykyle]

I have great news me and my boyfriend finally met after over 6 months of talking online we met April 27th and I stayed with him for three days and it was amazing and great waking up next to eachother every morning and spending the days together I also got to see the musical he's been working on. BUT ever since the visit ended we've been arguing like cats and dogs and then it just gets all silent and neither of us get in the mood to talk! But the visit was great why is this happening ? It's like I'm picking every little thing to argue about Ive been stuck in this attitude and idk why and I feel like I'm going to end up ruining our relationship I'm getting really sad but for some reason it just makes me feel weird when we're just in silence on the phone I know he's not the only one with a mouth I am too but I just don't know what to say

[JaneEmily]

Probably just post visit blues. Are either of you feeling any resentment towards not being together? If so... Communicate exactly how you're feeling with each other to get to the bottom of it and make sure you both keep busy, as individuals but to also make time for each other.

[spanglishjoe]

Sometimes I think the distance can get you down, it's hard being separated. For whatever reason, I think this can at times lead to arguments that might not happen in person.

You just have to communicate, help each other understand how to be patient, and look forward to that next visit.

[Chris516]

I have great news me and my boyfriend finally met after over 6 months of talking online we met April 27th and I stayed with him for three days and it was amazing and great waking up next to eachother every morning and spending the days together I also got to see the musical he's been working on. BUT ever since the visit ended we've been arguing like cats and dogs and then it just gets all silent and neither of us get in the mood to talk! But the visit was great why is this happening ? It's like I'm picking every little thing to argue about Ive been stuck in this attitude and idk why and I feel like I'm going to end up ruining our relationship I'm getting really sad but for some reason it just makes me feel weird when we're just in silence on the phone I know he's not the only one with a mouth I am too but I just don't know what to say

You are picking every little thing to argue about. But guess what, 'it takes two, to tango'. In your situation, the 'tango' is the arguing. So you aren't the only one nit-picking. He is doing it too.

It sounds like the arguing is because you miss each other so much.

[sasad]

I think it's the emotional letdown .... We are together enjoying everything , and then we're pulled apart so we get bitter. It's not really being angry at each other, but at our situation.
Many of us get angry right before visit as well... same type of concept.
It will even out eventually.....it is not abnormal.

[Lost77]

I just had the same issue. Part of mine was because of the separation but also because there was something bothering me that I didn't let him know about. We fought for two days straight. It was the worst two days because at the end of it he said "i think we should sit down and think about what we want" then he didn't answer any of my texts for 12 hrs 😞. When he finally did he apolized and said he just wanted me to have time to think. We went over the main issues and fixed everything and we both feel like we're good now.

[SailorRei]

I would say the best thing is to cool it down and wait until your negative emotions subdue. You don't want to argue or say bad things, but pretty sure after some time, you and your SO will get back to how it was and be great again.

[BaconGirl05]

I can understand how you feel. I think it just has to do with missing the other person and being apart. My SO and I were apart for about a year, and we started arguing a lot, over stupid things as well. Now that we're together, things are fine. I got annoyed at every little thing he did. I think it was just because we had been apart for so long and I missed him so much.

Fighting all the time can be exhausting. It may feel like the relationship is being torn apart, but you guys should sit down and talk about what's going on. Remember, it's alright to miss someone and it's normal to feel lonely in long distance, just be sure to communicate your feelings with each other.

[Nirose]

Hello-
I am new here but had a 3 week visit with my BF around the same time you had your visit. We were engaged 16 years ago and just got back together. We are only apart for just over 2 months before we will close the distance and had a similar experience. While we lived together previously, it was a lifetime ago. We fight because we miss each other. It sounds stupid but we love each other so much that being apart physically hurts. This can manifest after a visit; especially after a first meeting or a long time reunion. Try to recognize th behavior, acknowledge, and move past it. We do and it makes us stronger. Good luck to you.