Everythings Changed!

[Gracehopper]

it's been a week since he go back to his country. the separation anxiety is done! but what happen is, out of nowhere he changed, he's been cold, been irritated, before he takes the initiative of messaging me and now, i'm asking for a small time to talk about us, i try not put my ego up. because i know if we both get angry we will not accomplish something. but he has no time to talk and reason out that he need to settle everything from his work. but because i cannot take it, i message him how i really feel. for me i don't care if he will reply back or not. i feel very tired of giving a chance to bring back the same as we have before. i will stop for awhile, i decided to give him time. days and nights of crying wondering what's happening to us. it's been very tough for me because we are in a long distance relationship and make me stress. now i feel like surrendering! i told myself to accept things if we are going to be ok or not. i already did my part. i think is too much if i continue to swallow my pride but he's not going to do something for us, i guess that's it!

asking for your advice. am i doing the right thing?

i feel depressed.

[sasad]

Ok, you had issues with this type of situation before I think.
You just had a visit. It's not uncommon for one for both people to either argue or get really clingy before and after visits. Emotions run high, contact is great, then the visit is done and real life comes back into play.
My SO worked all day today to catch up with things he needed to because he left yesterday to go home. I am going to be working my ass off this week as its SOL time in schools. We both know it. We both understand time is gonna be limited for both of us. We work around it and will make time when we can, not always when we want.
I'm not sure if you are texting him in anger or demanding or what, but please don't continue that. That is never fair to another, and will end up pushing him away. Instead, try something like..." I know we have both been busy since the visit, can we plan a date for x night and just relax......
Both of you are in a long distance relationship. Both of you are dealing with separation. It's not a competition, it's about two people working together.
Some people are just not cut out for this....

[Phantomrose]

Seperation is just something that you have to get used to when being in an LDR. I know that my SO and I have our own ways of dealing with the initial separation after a long visit. We both have a bit of time to ourselves for a few days (we would still message each other, but not really skype until a few days have passed.) Give him some time to settle with work, and be patient. I agree with sasad, where she advises not to continue with demanding/angry texts (if you are doing so.) Demanding texts, or even angry ones will only push him away. Just give it time to settle back into real life again.

[Gracehopper]

Ok, you had issues with this type of situation before I think.
You just had a visit. It's not uncommon for one for both people to either argue or get really clingy before and after visits. Emotions run high, contact is great, then the visit is done and real life comes back into play.
My SO worked all day today to catch up with things he needed to because he left yesterday to go home. I am going to be working my ass off this week as its SOL time in schools. We both know it. We both understand time is gonna be limited for both of us. We work around it and will make time when we can, not always when we want.
I'm not sure if you are texting him in anger or demanding or what, but please don't continue that. That is never fair to another, and will end up pushing him away. Instead, try something like..." I know we have both been busy since the visit, can we plan a date for x night and just relax......
Both of you are in a long distance relationship. Both of you are dealing with separation. It's not a competition, it's about two people working together.
Some people are just not cut out for this....

thanks for the reply sasad, i told him if he is busy, i will understand i never force him to message me all the time. one day we are talking then suddenly he say he doesn't know if we continue.. so from that day onward, i stop talking. i just go with the flow. thanks sasad.

[Gracehopper]

Seperation is just something that you have to get used to when being in an LDR. I know that my SO and I have our own ways of dealing with the initial separation after a long visit. We both have a bit of time to ourselves for a few days (we would still message each other, but not really skype until a few days have passed.) Give him some time to settle with work, and be patient. I agree with sasad, where she advises not to continue with demanding/angry texts (if you are doing so.) Demanding texts, or even angry ones will only push him away. Just give it time to settle back into real life again.

i never did anything that make him cold. i always say that i will understand what he's been doing about his work. but whenever i gave him the time he need that's also the time he's been changing. so i just relax but of course i feel sad, i can't do anything but to wait. thanks you

[Chris516]

it's been a week since he go back to his country. the separation anxiety is done! but what happen is, out of nowhere he changed, he's been cold, been irritated, before he takes the initiative of messaging me and now, i'm asking for a small time to talk about us, i try not put my ego up. because i know if we both get angry we will not accomplish something. but he has no time to talk and reason out that he need to settle everything from his work. but because i cannot take it, i message him how i really feel. for me i don't care if he will reply back or not. i feel very tired of giving a chance to bring back the same as we have before. i will stop for awhile, i decided to give him time. days and nights of crying wondering what's happening to us. it's been very tough for me because we are in a long distance relationship and make me stress. now i feel like surrendering! i told myself to accept things if we are going to be ok or not. i already did my part. i think is too much if i continue to swallow my pride but he's not going to do something for us, i guess that's it!

asking for your advice. am i doing the right thing?

i feel depressed.

The separation could be the simple reason for the change in his behavior.

You have trying your best. To get him to open up, since the end of the visit. I commend you for that. You are putting forth effort. Communication is a must.

[Gracehopper]

The separation could be the simple reason for the change in his behavior.

You have trying your best. To get him to open up, since the end of the visit. I commend you for that. You are putting forth effort. Communication is a must.

i tried but he say,he is busy. so i don't know until when i should ask for his time. i just gave him what he needs. then if he will continue to act like that and still don't put the initiative to communicate with me, so i let him do what he needs to settle. thanks chris516

[sasad]

Again, it takes two. He needs to make an effort as well. He should not leave you hanging all the time. You both need to set a time for yourselves .

[Gracehopper]

Again, it takes two. He needs to make an effort as well. He should not leave you hanging all the time. You both need to set a time for yourselves .

i will just keep quiet and if he message me i will reply him back. i will keep holding on. what i do now is to make myself busy. so, my attention will divert to something instead of thinking about him. thanks sasad