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    #1

    It was barely two weeks and it's over

    So it's over. It lasted not even two weeks. Suddenly out of the blue he can't do the distance. He needs affection and all that in real life. He hasn't had it in four years. Blah blah. It's my fault I am so far away.

    He doesn't even want to discuss it. Anything. He was busy trying to save the relationship of the people he lives with instead of ours. Shows how important I was. But he wants me to believe he cared! I mean, it shows. It shows how all day yesterday I fretted about us while he decided. It shows in how he wanted me to fret all day today while he decided.

    I can't do that. I can't wait around while I go to work and take care of my mom and dog while someone decides if they want to be with me or not.

    So back to being alone again.
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    #2
    I'm sorry. And maybe you don't want to hear this, but at least you found out the truth very early on, rather than being led further astray. I know it doesn't change the fact it happened, but you know a relationship is a two-way road, not a one-way street. Be kind to yourself

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      #3
      I'm sorry this happened, but I agree with Honour that at least you weren't even more invested. Unfortunately some people can't do long-distance.
      So, here you are
      too foreign for home
      too foreign for here.
      Never enough for both.
      Ijeoma Umebinyuo, Diaspora Blues

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        #4
        The purpose of dating is to figure out if someone is right for me or not. Two weeks is a fair amount of time to decide if I'm willing to navigate a relationship with someone, be it long distance or not. IMHO it's fair that he decided in two weeks, and important that he didn't take years of sitting on a fence deciding if this is a relationship that he wants to pursue.

        Maybe a quick autopsy is in order. I like to look at the part I played, how I contributed to the outcome, and work on a plan so that I don't repeat the past. I look to the future and move on. It's an opportunity for growth.

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          #5
          I agree with everyone else. While it sucks, and it hurts, and what a crappy thing to do... be glad that it was only for 2 weeks. Mine took 3 years, and a couple breaks, to finally decide that the distance (among other things) was too much and he couldn't wait for me.

          We're always here if you need us, whether you need advice about relationships, LD or not, or just general advice. We're a very loving, and friendly, community. Don't ever feel like you can't come back here just because you're not in a relationship any more. Some people still stay and post even though they're single, like me.
          Last edited by whatruckus; May 12, 2016, 10:00 AM.

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            #6
            I am sorry. We all need people who are in it for the long haul.
            I made love to him only twice, she thought and looked at the man laying asleep beside her. And yet still it is as if we have been together forever, as if he has always known my life, my soul, my body, my light, my pain
            - Paulo Coelho, "Eleven minutes"



            "Bız yüzyılın aşkı vardır" - We have dated since Sept. 2013. To see our full story, click here https://members.lovingfromadistance....and-our-visits

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              #7
              Yes, better now than later for sure... Plus you both had not even met up yet from what I read? So in some ways that has to make it a little easier for you I hope. xo

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                #8
                At least you know now I guess, take care of yourself.

                Comment

                  #9
                  Originally posted by HisLittleBear View Post
                  So it's over. It lasted not even two weeks. Suddenly out of the blue he can't do the distance. He needs affection and all that in real life. He hasn't had it in four years. Blah blah. It's my fault I am so far away.

                  He doesn't even want to discuss it. Anything. He was busy trying to save the relationship of the people he lives with instead of ours. Shows how important I was. But he wants me to believe he cared! I mean, it shows. It shows how all day yesterday I fretted about us while he decided. It shows in how he wanted me to fret all day today while he decided.

                  I can't do that. I can't wait around while I go to work and take care of my mom and dog while someone decides if they want to be with me or not.

                  So back to being alone again.
                  Where does come off saying it is your fault for the distance!!! It was one thing to care about friends. But to care about an SO LEAST OF ALL!!! Shows how much the twerp cares!!! Leave him by the side of the road!!!

                  First Visit: September 2016
                  Second Visit: January 2017 (Her birthday)
                  Third Visit: June 2018 (medical conference near her home)

                  John 3:16
                  For God so loved the world. That he gave his only begotten son. For whosoever believeth in him. Shall not perish but have eternal life
                  John 4:12
                  I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.

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                    #10
                    I'm so sorry this happened Things happen for a reason I suppose and like everyone said it's a good thing it was only 2 weeks and not years. You'll bounce back quickly soon enough and we are always here if you need help

                    Comment

                      #11
                      Originally posted by Chris516 View Post
                      Where does come off saying it is your fault for the distance!!! It was one thing to care about friends. But to care about an SO LEAST OF ALL!!! Shows how much the twerp cares!!! Leave him by the side of the road!!!
                      Some people can't handle a long distance relationship. It does not make them a bad person.
                      This relationship was 2weeks in. They haven't met Irl yet. He was honest enough to say something now. That does not make it ok for name calling. Being honest does not ever make you a twerp.
                      Last edited by sasad; May 13, 2016, 06:28 AM.

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                        #12
                        I'm sorry that it ended but as everyone has said, only two weeks was put into it. Some people just really can't handle the distance or need to have that physical touch all the time. It's better they are up front about it as soon as possible.

                        It's not a reflection on you as a person. It doesn't mean that he didn't care. It just means he wasn't prepared to handle it and he came clean with you about it.
                        To those who dream, nothing is ever far away.

                        ​Distance is to love as wind is to fire. It blows out the little ones and fans the big ones.

                        Comment

                          #13
                          Originally posted by R&R View Post
                          I'm sorry that it ended but as everyone has said, only two weeks was put into it. Some people just really can't handle the distance or need to have that physical touch all the time. It's better they are up front about it as soon as possible.

                          It's not a reflection on you as a person. It doesn't mean that he didn't care. It just means he wasn't prepared to handle it and he came clean with you about it.
                          Exactly. It was just more than he thought it was going to be. It happens. You never know until you try.

                          Comment

                            #14
                            I am so sorry to hear this HisLittleBear!

                            As much as it hurts, it is better now than months later. Distance is hard. It doesn't mean there was no feelings involved. Most people can not do LD and that does not mean that they feel less! People who can do LD have different needs and wanting your SO near you is not wrong. Too much romance has been set in LDRs and please not get me wrong everyone, i am not trying to lessen them, but just because some people can handle the distance does not mean that the love they share is stronger in any way, it just means that they feel better then others when the are apart from their SO. They don't like the distance, but they cope better.

                            I invested months in it and so did he, only to figure out we couldn't do it. Also, an LDR without an endpoint is pointless. You are way better off now, no bad feelings. It will all be a nice memory! If you need to vent, feel free to do so!

                            Comment

                              #15
                              Yeah, some people are just not cut out for LDRs. It doesn't mean they are bad, it just means they're not the right fit for that kind of relationship. It's a shame it didn't work out, but at least you were awarded honesty, and you know where things are at. I wish you all the best with finding someone who can commit to you and a potential LDR!

                              ~
                              It'll take a lot more than words and guns
                              A whole lot more than riches and muscle
                              The hands of the many must join as one
                              And together we'll cross the river

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