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I really need help with this girl. Is she testing me like crazy or barely interested?

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    I really need help with this girl. Is she testing me like crazy or barely interested?

    I met this girl online almost 2 months ago. For the first 6 weeks it was going pretty well. We were talking an OK amount, I wanted to talk more but she said she could not because she was too busy with coursework and exams as she has a scholarship and is in Russia. She never wanted to do an Skype video chat or even a live voice chat but she sent me over 100 pictures of herself including a few that were very revealing but not nude and she revealed her sexual fantasy to me. Also we sent a few pre recorded voice messages to each other.

    I always asked her to be my gf she always said she was not yet ready and needed more time since all her previous 4 relationships ended in her bf/gf cheating on her and leaving her. He last bf was also long distance and she dated him for 2 months until he cheated on her. Thus she says she never believes peoples when they say they like or love her.

    She grew up in bad part of Russia and as a result doesnt like people or going out. She prefers to be at home.

    She very rarely used sweet or affectionate words for me when we talked but I always used a lot. Though we did flirt quite explicitly on certain occasions and when I got a bit ill she showed real concern for my health. Once I got her angry and tried to downplay it by joked about me getting into a car accident the next day on the way to work because I stayed up so late to talk to her and she got super enraged telling me to go sleep immediately and not speak of such things and she was worried until the next morning when I texted her I safety arrived at work.

    Things kinda went bad on the 6th week. She always said she though I was too weak it lead to an argument this time. I asked how many guys she was with i though it was 1 but after a lot of asking she revealed there was at least one more. I asked her a lot what the total number was initially she did not respond but finally she said 2 but I think she lied and she got super upset and said she was ashamed since men want virgins.

    The next day she ignored for the whole day until almost midnight. Finally when I told her I was fired from my job she responded but didnt seem very sorry for me, I guess she was still upset.

    The next two days I told her I loved her for the first time and wanted her to be my gf. The first day she said she was too busy and the next day the last thing she said to me was "she liked me but wasn't sure if it was the best decision"

    Then she dissapred for a whole week. I sent many desperate messages and tried to call her many times on whatsapps. Once it rang but she turned the call off and muted me after that. Eventually after 3 or 4 days I give up all hope and sent a final message saying "she didnt even have the courage to say goodbye" I found it particularly odd since in the 5th week she told me she would not just leave me since she knew the pain of being left.

    I gave up all hope and was heartbroken. Then exactly one week after she disappeared she messages me out of the blue saying she was in hospital and telling what illness she had and that the hospital had no internet so she could not respond and giving a lot of such excuses. I know she is lying 100% since I know of her twitter account and she was posting on it. She doesnt know I am aware of her twitter account. I told her how I was heart broken and could not even eat properly. She got angry again and said " she was sick of me and I was a weak boy" we talked for a tiny bit more and she left again.

    We didnt text each other for the next two days but on Monday i texted her and we talked a bit again. I explained to her how I was not weak and was in many fights and grew up in a tough neighborhood etc and she said she never said i was weak physically (even though she did on many occasion) She asked me if i found a new job and I told her I got an interview she said she was proud of me. I asked her to send me a few of the last pics of her and she did. I asked her again to be my gf and she said she was still afraid.

    The next day I texted but no reply.

    On Wednesday I noticed she changed her whataspp image without reading my previous texts. I texted her and she came on instantly. I told her another girl I knew was asking me out but that I didnt want this girl but only her. She said I should think about it as we were long away and she didnt believe in long distance because of her ex i was surprised since she never said this before. I said I only wanted her but she said she didnt believe me. I kept asking her for a chance to prove myself to her. But she went off again.

    Again i though it was over. The next day I message her that I got a new job but no reply.

    On Friday. I go to her twitter and notice she liked an anime gif of a crying girl saying "he only used me and never loved me and I was always alone" and another gif of "this is my endgame" I text her saying I sent the other girl off and my heart only belongs to her and she immediately responds "its so cute ^_^" she is on her way to her parents.

    I though I made it finally I sent her a message asking me if she will now finally be my gf? She doesnt respond and I sent her more messages through the day but she doesnt respond. I know she is at home though since there is some twitter activity again.

    Today i sent her two long texts about how she should stop this odd behavior and how the last week and me sending the other girl off is proof of my feelings being real for her. But still no response as yet.

    So what am I to make of her? I she testing me like crazy to see if my feelings are real for her? or is she barely interested but if she is barely interested why did she like that sad tweet? Can anyone offer me some advice of what to do?

    #2
    This is way too much drama for only knowing someone two months. Personally, I would discontinue the relationship. This isn't testing you - this is manipulation plain and simple.
    To those who dream, nothing is ever far away.

    ​Distance is to love as wind is to fire. It blows out the little ones and fans the big ones.

    Comment


      #3
      So, you have never ever skyped or talked to her... she has sent pictures.. and you can get pictures anywhere... and she lies to you. Manipulates you, uses you..
      Ummm... Why are you still with this person? You almost sound like you are being catfished to be honest.

      Comment


        #4
        I'm 100% sure i'm not being catfished since she has sent me over 100 pics and I have seen her other accounts and its definitely her. I have also asked for specific photos on the spot and she sent them to me.

        I just don't understand why she behaves this way. She even gave me the location of her university dormitory in the 5th week when I first (in the first week) asked she said she didnt know.

        Her behavior just seems odd since when I mentioned the other girl on Wednesday she didnt fight for me which made me think she doesnt care for me. but she liked the anime gif of a crying girl saying "he only used me and never loved me and I was always alone" and another gif of "this is my endgame" when I then texted her saying I sent the other girl off and my heart only belongs to her and she immediately responds "its so cute ^_^"

        But if I didnt know of her twitter account and she doesnt know I know her account I could have never guessed she felt this way.

        She responds one day and doesnt the other. Like a pattern and she dissapeared for exactly one week.

        I wanna stick it out for a few more weeks and she has been through a lot (said to me often doesn't believe when people tell her they love her cos they all cheated on her) but should I continue messages her daily telling her I love her or give her space?
        Because if its a crazy test and I dont show enough interest in her she might think i'm not too interested in her but I she thinks I chase too much then it just makes me look needy.

        Comment


          #5
          And so why wont she talk to you irl or Skype etc? And basing a relationship off an anime gif.... ????
          You see a pattern that is not healthy, and still you continue.
          You say she lies, so do you really believe she gave you her dorm info??
          You are over 21 and "testing" someone and playing games with them is not love.. You need to communicate and have REAL conversations about REAL stuff.
          We gave you advice, its your choice to continue on.
          Last edited by sasad; May 14, 2016, 08:16 PM.

          Comment


            #6
            I think she won't talk yet in irl and skype cos of attachment issues she doesnt want to be hurt maybe think I will leave her. The gif was clearly a reaction and the next day she was happy when i told her I chose her.

            She didnt give me the exact address but I found it on google maps and the uni site based on the info she gave me. I dont think she lied then I also have her full name. She is 20 years old.

            Anyway I guess I will give her another week or so to be like this and then issue and ultimatum.

            Comment


              #7
              It's been two months...if you are BOTH over 18 then she needs to speak with you irl on phone at very least. Ultimatums are not how you build a relationship. Move on and let this person go.

              Comment


                #8
                Does it matter her intentions? She acts immature. This is nothing to build a healthy relationship on.
                I made love to him only twice, she thought and looked at the man laying asleep beside her. And yet still it is as if we have been together forever, as if he has always known my life, my soul, my body, my light, my pain
                - Paulo Coelho, "Eleven minutes"



                "Bız yüzyılın aşkı vardır" - We have dated since Sept. 2013. To see our full story, click here https://members.lovingfromadistance....and-our-visits

                Comment


                  #9
                  Originally posted by Whitelight122 View Post
                  I think she won't talk yet in irl and skype cos of attachment issues she doesnt want to be hurt maybe think I will leave her. The gif was clearly a reaction and the next day she was happy when i told her I chose her.

                  She didnt give me the exact address but I found it on google maps and the uni site based on the info she gave me. I dont think she lied then I also have her full name. She is 20 years old.

                  Anyway I guess I will give her another week or so to be like this and then issue and ultimatum.
                  I think they both are a little bit tbh...one post says she gave him dorm info, and above post says he googled it.
                  Then she lies, he says she loves him based off an anime gif, they have never talked Irl.

                  I dunno..

                  Comment


                    #10
                    No matter what the reasons might be, it really doesn't sound like this is a healthy relationship, or that she's even ready for a relationship. From what you are giving us in terms of info, this sounds like a very shaky and uncomfortable deal. You deserve to be with someone who gives you confidence and trust, not who makes you constantly doubt yourself and them.

                    ~
                    It'll take a lot more than words and guns
                    A whole lot more than riches and muscle
                    The hands of the many must join as one
                    And together we'll cross the river

                    Comment


                      #11
                      Originally posted by sasad View Post
                      I think they both are a little bit tbh...one post says she gave him dorm info, and above post says he googled it.
                      Then she lies, he says she loves him based off an anime gif, they have never talked Irl.

                      I dunno..
                      She gave me her university name, the building number of where she studies and the building number of her dormitory. Using the uni site I found the exact address and a picture of her dorm and she confirmed it was correct.

                      Comment


                        #12
                        It's an immature and childish "relationship" all around. She's leading him around by the nose using all the tricks and he's falling for it hook, line, and sinker. She lies and he wants to give ultimatums. They've never even Skyped at this point or talked IRL. Neither of you are ready for any type of relationship at this point.
                        To those who dream, nothing is ever far away.

                        ​Distance is to love as wind is to fire. It blows out the little ones and fans the big ones.

                        Comment

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