How to avoid from argue?

[Jovan]

Ever since she came back from outstations till today, we never stop argue and it's started with a small thing. Afterward she'll end with crying. Before she come back to her hometown, I had told her that I'll be attending a Wedding Party from Friday to Sunday and we were argue because of that. I'd explained that I'm helping the Bride (arranging) which is my friend but she did not agree. With reason, I will be meeting my Bad Friend (They are alcoholic). So to avoid the long arguments, I decided to not going and just stay at home with her in the weekend. I can hear she breath and feel relieve with my answer. This coming Tuesday is her Ex Staff's wedding. She had bought a ticket.( She told me.) She'd told me earlier and she wanted me to go with her. I agreed. Unfortunately I couldn't make it because my Director is coming to my office and I had to cancel it. She still going without me. And we had an big argue about this. She'd cried a lot. I was too much by saying to her, If she still going that Wedding Party, we re gonna have a big argument and a break up might happen. She felt that she been threaten. I know I'm being unfair to her. She told me today that she'll not going and she'll follow what I said to her. On top of that, she ask me to swear that I will not to my new office which is located around the city. She hates when I meet my friends. And the New office is inside the Shopping Mall. We make a deal. Yet I don't feel good about it now. She must be sad now because she has to cancel her trip.
I feel that I'm too Ego and Stubborn. We re just the same. What should i do to avoid argument?
How can I make her feel good? I care about her but I don't know how to show it. I had sent her an email for apologize. But every time we start a conversation over the phone, we will argue. I fear this may less our love feeling.....

[LadyMarchHare]

It sounds like you guys need to quit talking for a few days to calm down. Who is starting most of the fights? From the sounds of it, it's her and really I don't see why she needs to cry over silly arguments nor do I see why you passed up something you promised to get her to quit being a baby. If she's insecure, then she needs to work on trusting you as you can't be expected to bow to her every whim to avoid tears or a potential breakup.

If you want to avoid an argument, try walking away from the situation when you feel it getting tense. Tell her you feel an argument about to happen, that you love her, and either get off the phone or get off the computer for a while. When you feel you can handle the situation without sparking a fight, come back. If this upsets her, then there's no pleasing her. It basically sounds like you guys need to work on the issues that keep starting these fights. If you don't know what they are, figure them out. Best of luck.

[paulawriteslove]

I think you two need to take a little break from talking. I also think you two should tell each other how the fighting is making you feel. Also, I think that you should figure out another way how to communicate other than fighting, you should talk it out. Best of luck!

[Jovan]

Thanks for the advise > "LadyMarchHare & paulawriteslove" You two are always there for me and thanks for being supportive! *Thumbs Up*

We are okay right now. Sometimes, I start the arguments. Well, she did not attend the wedding which is today. So she went to visit her sister instead. I will try to work on our trust especially.

[Karringtyn]

While I am all for taking a break when things get heated...through my life I have realized walking away isn't always the best answer. Communicating....well if you are arguing on phone...can you switch to online and talk? Email? Whatever way you can talk it out...will heed the best results.

I wish you the best!

[Jovan]

I think we have all been there. Usually when this happens there are underlying issues that are causing the fights. I'm sure everything is just getting to her and she doesn't know how to handle it. Try talking to her and finding out what is bothering her.

Yes we were. Thanx amb85

[Jovan]

While I am all for taking a break when things get heated...through my life I have realized walking away isn't always the best answer. Communicating....well if you are arguing on phone...can you switch to online and talk? Email? Whatever way you can talk it out...will heed the best results.

I wish you the best!

Absolutely right Karringtyn ! We online all night long and talk bout it (Cos she did not attend the wedding) , yet we re still argue lol... but things get better afterward

Thanx so much!