Not good at communicating

[leonina]

I've been reflecting over the weekend on the fact that Judsen and I are just not really good at being long distance. No, we won't break up because of it, but the distance is not something we are able to have fun with.

At the beginning of our CD relationship I hated talking on the phone with J and texting. He just isn't that kind of person. But when we are hanging out together it is so much fun and I've never had a better time with anyone else. Conversation flows, we're both laughing, and I know that he is perfect for me.

So, after three months of long distance I understand that we won't ever really be the fun and exciting distance couple I had hoped. Our phone conversations even with the aid of interesting questions just don't flow as smoothly as our conversations together. We don't laugh as much apart.

We both are very in tune with body language and facial expressions, so videochat has been the best form of communication for us so far. It's just really difficult to get together and do that all the time.

I feel guilty for wanting this distance to be over as soon as possible because we are terrible at communicating through electronics.

I guess I just want some kind of reassurance from the forum. Is this normal? Are there couples out there that are truly good at communicating when they are together, but just not good when it's on a phone?

[paulawriteslove]

Being in a long distance in extremely tough, especially figuring out how to communicate! You two can still do cute and adorable things though send pictures through your phones, send each other random things through the mail

[LadyMarchHare]

There are people who have trouble using technology to communicate, it's normal. Just as people (such as myself) have trouble talking without using text for whatever reason. You guys have a different way of communicating, there's nothing wrong with it, it simply means you have to work a bit harder to not fall into conversation 'depressions' or at least feel somewhat satisfied with what you have to work with right now.

[MoonWatcher]

I understand what you mean. It's a big adjustment, going from a CD to a LD relationship. In my opinion, it takes more hard work and effort to keep the love alive from far away then it does when you're in the same room (that's not a hard and fast rule, just something I've noticed).

With me and my bf, even though we hung out and talked very easily in person, when he left I found that I was more comfortable sending him emails and writing letters because I'm able to think more about what I want to say. In emails I can be witty and relaxed. I get butterflies when I talk to him on Skype though. Partly just because I get butterflies regardless whenever I get to talk to him But it works out okay.

As far as getting the laughs going again, maybe talk about past funny memories of when you were together? Lately when my bf and I reminisce, I've been writing down the little things we both remember that we didn't think about before, and it's been turning into quite a book. Perhaps getting both sides of how the relationship began, how you fell in love, etc. would be a fun thing to do, and it will remind you of why you're going the distance. Good luck!

[Karringtyn]

We met online and that is how we started our LD. So I think that has some to do with it...

But we too are MUCH better in person..and sometimes our calls are just "trying".. just keep working at it..you will fall into something that will ease the distance for now.....
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[Silviar]

We're well enough with communicating online, but nothing replaces being able to see, touch and feel the changes in the air when you're talking in person. We struggle with it sometimes too, and have to remember to be generous with our understanding sometimes.

Ugh it's hard.

[XX, Lexi]

I have to agree with the rest of the posts. Being LD and communicating over text and phone and such is harder than being able to actually see, touch and explore the mood of your SO. I have this problem with Luke sometimes, especially whenever we're fighting.
If you're able to, send him a few links on the computer to some funny videos or websites. Me and my SO do that whenever we have a long period of time to talk to each other. Maybe talk about something funny on the news that you saw. Good luck =]