He's so busy, I ended up feeling left behind..

[curlywave]

Hi all,

actually not my first time here, but I forgot my previous username and password, and failed to recover it. So just be it, a new account

Well, my BF is on his golden period on works. 29 years old, 3 different companies of his own, even one is abroad. Amazing huh.
But for sure, the effect is clear, he's so freaking busy.
Meanwhile, I'm on my worst state of life I guess. I'm just started my own small business, hopefully it will going well.
And I really need daily support to keep myself in a good mood and stuffs. But it just not going well lately.

He's so busy, as busy as texting me "good morning" when it's 6.30 pm my time, which is also not morning at his timezone. It's-only 5 hours difference.
Also he only will call when he can find a free 5 minutes of his whole day. I forgot the last time he spare 30 minutes only for me.
Our lasts video call always when he's doing his work as well. So it almost only me looking at the screen, while he's focusing on his paper or other windows.
Whenever I see him active on FB, it's not for texting me.

I feel so left behind, and miss some sweetness from him.
No, I don't want to give up. But I need some advice how to feel not sad and look pathetic the whole time, because sometimes I feel I'm the only one who want him so much, not the other way around.

Thank you!
xx

[Chris516]

Hi all,

actually not my first time here, but I forgot my previous username and password, and failed to recover it. So just be it, a new account

Well, my BF is on his golden period on works. 29 years old, 3 different companies of his own, even one is abroad. Amazing huh.
But for sure, the effect is clear, he's so freaking busy.
Meanwhile, I'm on my worst state of life I guess. I'm just started my own small business, hopefully it will going well.
And I really need daily support to keep myself in a good mood and stuffs. But it just not going well lately.

He's so busy, as busy as texting me "good morning" when it's 6.30 pm my time, which is also not morning at his timezone. It's-only 5 hours difference.
Also he only will call when he can find a free 5 minutes of his whole day. I forgot the last time he spare 30 minutes only for me.
Our lasts video call always when he's doing his work as well. So it almost only me looking at the screen, while he's focusing on his paper or other windows.
Whenever I see him active on FB, it's not for texting me.

I feel so left behind, and miss some sweetness from him.
No, I don't want to give up. But I need some advice how to feel not sad and look pathetic the whole time, because sometimes I feel I'm the only one who want him so much, not the other way around.

Thank you!
xx

Since he has time for FB. While running three companies. He certainly should make time for you.

[sasad]

Talk to him matter of fact. Since you are also starting up a small company, ask him for some advice suggestions over a "date". Maybe that will help him distress as well. He may have no one to really talk to either as he seems to be burning the candle at both ends.

Definitely need to have a conversation though. LDRs wont work with out 2 way communications. He may not know what he is doing or may think its ok if he is like that with you..

[hmrambling]

Have you asked him to make more time for you? If I were you, I would ask him what times are good for him. If he has no free time whatsoever, then I would be questioning if he has time for a relationship.

I generally make time for things that are a high priority to me. If it is not a high priority, then I don't always make time.

[curlywave]

Well, I think he's on FB to chat about his work as well. Not really browsing and posting.. But it doesn't stop me from feeling "forgotten" most of the time.
Sometime I feel maybe I'm reacting too much, like "Ow, he's online 3 mins ago after hours and not checking on me or reply my text?"
God, I'm the worst for this thing lol

[curlywave]

Since he has time for FB. While running three companies. He certainly should make time for you.

Well, I think he's on FB to chat about his work as well. Not really browsing and posting.. But it doesn't stop me from feeling "forgotten" most of the time.
Sometime I feel maybe I'm reacting too much, like "Ow, he's online 3 mins ago after hours and not checking on me or reply my text?"
God, I'm the worst for this thing lol

[curlywave]

Talk to him matter of fact. Since you are also starting up a small company, ask him for some advice suggestions over a "date". Maybe that will help him distress as well. He may have no one to really talk to either as he seems to be burning the candle at both ends.

Definitely need to have a conversation though. LDRs wont work with out 2 way communications. He may not know what he is doing or may think its ok if he is like that with you..

I do ask for his opinion, maybe a lot hihi but then it feels like he only response to it. Not asking like, and how's your day? How is it going?
Simple way to say this situation is more like, he's not emotionally available for me.

But yeah, since i get this silly anxiety, sometimes i feel bad for expecting too much from him.
But indeed, I do agree that communication is a must!
Thank you for your time!

[curlywave]

Have you asked him to make more time for you? If I were you, I would ask him what times are good for him. If he has no free time whatsoever, then I would be questioning if he has time for a relationship.

I generally make time for things that are a high priority to me. If it is not a high priority, then I don't always make time.

It's sad to say this, but currently, maybe until we close the distant it will be hard for him to make more time for me, as much as i want to.
So until now, I keep reminding him why I need some affection from him. Then for a couple of days he will be aware of it, until he reach the point he will be unaware again, I will remind him again.

It makes me sad sometime as well, knowing that currently I'm not on his high priority without me being so noisy first hehe
but then again, indeed he works for both of us as well.

But yeah, asking him is really the only way to let him know. He really can't read any of my signs even though it's crystal clear that I need more "romance". haha
Thank you!

[Honour]

Sometimes you just have to take the initiative, even if it isn't your natural response, and make yourself heard/be more assertive about certain things. I'm pretty sure you're both very busy people, but surely he could make an extra five minutes minimum somewhere? Have a talk with him, and see what he says.

[curlywave]

Sometimes you just have to take the initiative, even if it isn't your natural response, and make yourself heard/be more assertive about certain things. I'm pretty sure you're both very busy people, but surely he could make an extra five minutes minimum somewhere? Have a talk with him, and see what he says.

I just can hope and trying myself it will get better eventually.
And in search for some good destruction so I wont be too concern about it.

Thank you!

[Chris516]

Well, I think he's on FB to chat about his work as well. Not really browsing and posting.. But it doesn't stop me from feeling "forgotten" most of the time.
Sometime I feel maybe I'm reacting too much, like "Ow, he's online 3 mins ago after hours and not checking on me or reply my text?"
God, I'm the worst for this thing lol

You are not alone, feeling like that.

[Chris516]

Well, I think he's on FB to chat about his work as well. Not really browsing and posting.. But it doesn't stop me from feeling "forgotten" most of the time.
Sometime I feel maybe I'm reacting too much, like "Ow, he's online 3 mins ago after hours and not checking on me or reply my text?"
God, I'm the worst for this thing lol

You are not alone, feeling like that.

[curlywave]

You are not alone, feeling like that.

Somehow it's good to know that. lol
thank u!