Announcement

Collapse
No announcement yet.

Slightly frustrated..

Collapse
X
Collapse
 
  • Page of 2
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts
Previous 1 2 template Next
    #1

    Slightly frustrated..

    I haven't seen my SO since January. He said he would come visit me in July (and I want to move to his place in September). He has asked for time off already and of course tickets are expensive now because he waited so long. So he's been looking for a ticket for roughly 2 weeks now. I know he is busy, I know it is not easy to find something cheap, but I also think it's not getting any cheaper the longer we wait. If it was just for me I'd say "okay I'll come over in September anyways, that's just 3 more months, we'll be fine.", however I already told my parents he would come and my mom is already suspicious of him, because we only met 3 times and she believes this can't be real love. So this visit now is very important to me to show my mom I'm fine and he's a good guy. The longer the search takes, the more frustrated I get and he knows it is important to me. If money is so much of a problem, I'd even help him pay for the flight, even though I seriously don't have much to spare, because I'm a poor student and will need the money for the flight in september and he promised he'd get enough together for this trip. I'm not even mad, but a little frustrated and disappointed, when he says the ticket situation is "uncertain". What does that even mean? Would he seriously consider not coming because of 100€? Just wanted to get this off my chest. Any thoughts or advice?
    Tags: None
    #2
    Have your SO try priceline . com. I have used that site many, many times and its been a god sent for me as it has saved me a lot of money

    Comment

      #3
      Originally posted by Lost77 View Post
      Have your SO try priceline . com. I have used that site many, many times and its been a god sent for me as it has saved me a lot of money
      Thank you, I'll try that page

      Comment

        #4
        I get that you want to make a good impression on your sceptical family, but admittedly this is a lot of pressure to put on him, both financially and personally. It wasn't right of him to wait, but we're not talking about peanuts in terms of money, even if he books early. Could it be that he's stalling because he knows he messed up and is scared of admitting he can't do it? Also, have you directly offered him to help pay for it and that it's fine? I think you need two need to sit down and be honest with each other, and try to make the decision that's best for you two, not the decision that might or might not please the family the most.

        ~
        It'll take a lot more than words and guns
        A whole lot more than riches and muscle
        The hands of the many must join as one
        And together we'll cross the river

        Comment

          #5
          Originally posted by Miasmata View Post
          I get that you want to make a good impression on your sceptical family, but admittedly this is a lot of pressure to put on him, both financially and personally. It wasn't right of him to wait, but we're not talking about peanuts in terms of money, even if he books early. Could it be that he's stalling because he knows he messed up and is scared of admitting he can't do it? Also, have you directly offered him to help pay for it and that it's fine? I think you need two need to sit down and be honest with each other, and try to make the decision that's best for you two, not the decision that might or might not please the family the most.
          Yeah I get what you're saying. The thing is, he was the one to propose we go meet my family and made clear that it was important for him too to be accepted and only fair to see them. I said to him I'd be with him no matter if my parents approved or not, but he said that you can't let down the people who raised you and should try to convince them and he feels the need to go meet them in person to tell them he is serious. The financial pressure is real though. He has a low income, so I said anyways, that I'd help him out no matter what and he shouldn't worry too much about the expenses (e.g. food) here. Right now I can hardly cover my fixed costs though and everything extra is money I take from the few savings I have, savings I'll need for the move. But maybe you're right and I need to be more clear on this. It might also be the case that he feels the need to provide for me as a guy. He said he got his bonus, so I know he has the money for the flight. Thanks for the advice though, I gotta talk this through with him. We have this problem anyways, because once I have a job I'll probably earn more than him. I don't want him to be insecure about it, because it really doesn't matter for me what he earns, I love him anyways.

          Comment

            #6
            If he proposed it himself, then he's probably struggling just as much, if not more, with all this. Especially if he has taken time off already I doubt he'd just postpone the meeting.

            So try to trust the fact that he wants to see you as much and understands the importance of it all, and whatever the issue is, try to solve it together~
            Good luck :3

            Comment

              #7
              Originally posted by C.C. View Post
              If he proposed it himself, then he's probably struggling just as much, if not more, with all this. Especially if he has taken time off already I doubt he'd just postpone the meeting.

              So try to trust the fact that he wants to see you as much and understands the importance of it all, and whatever the issue is, try to solve it together~
              Good luck :3
              Thank you I'm sure he is coming and I trust him, it's just vey frustrating for me that we don't have dates yet. I just talked to him and he said he'll definitely come and apologized for letting me wait. Apparently he has problems with the payment, because he doesn't have a credit card... So the delay is not really his fault.

              Comment

                #8
                A LDR is one situation where you can't leave things to the last minute. They require planning. I am lucky enough to live in the same country as my SO but when we've left a trip to the last minute before its cost us anywhere between $500-$700 just for the flights that's not even including accomodation or food. I do feel your pain as I've previously been through this before. Is there a way you can assist him, search for flights for him? Then when you find the right one, get him to book it?

                Comment

                  #9
                  Originally posted by Redheart14 View Post
                  A LDR is one situation where you can't leave things to the last minute. They require planning. I am lucky enough to live in the same country as my SO but when we've left a trip to the last minute before its cost us anywhere between $500-$700 just for the flights that's not even including accomodation or food. I do feel your pain as I've previously been through this before. Is there a way you can assist him, search for flights for him? Then when you find the right one, get him to book it?
                  I can't really say it's his fault to leave it to the last moment, because it's not easy for him to take time off from work, especially not far in advance. I've been searching and sending him flights. He also tried to book, but had trouble with the payment options because he doesn't have a credit card and apparently you need one. I even offered to use my credit card, but he said they'll do a check on whose card it is, so he couldn't use mine. Still, he said today that he'll definitely come and apologized for letting me wait and causing trouble. I just hope this is over soon and he'll find a ticket. We never argued before, but with this I feel a certain tension between us and I want to overcome this already and just look forward to the meeting.

                  Comment

                    #10
                    Originally posted by aoitori View Post
                    I can't really say it's his fault to leave it to the last moment, because it's not easy for him to take time off from work, especially not far in advance. I've been searching and sending him flights. He also tried to book, but had trouble with the payment options because he doesn't have a credit card and apparently you need one. I even offered to use my credit card, but he said they'll do a check on whose card it is, so he couldn't use mine. Still, he said today that he'll definitely come and apologized for letting me wait and causing trouble. I just hope this is over soon and he'll find a ticket. We never argued before, but with this I feel a certain tension between us and I want to overcome this already and just look forward to the meeting.
                    People can purchase tickets for others. For some airlines, you can even purchase gift cards that people can use to buy their tickets.
                    To those who dream, nothing is ever far away.

                    ​Distance is to love as wind is to fire. It blows out the little ones and fans the big ones.

                    Comment

                      #11
                      Originally posted by R&R View Post
                      People can purchase tickets for others. For some airlines, you can even purchase gift cards that people can use to buy their tickets.
                      I know, I also thought it was weird. I'm still positive he's gonna book soon.

                      Comment

                        #12
                        Just a quick update. It took him forever and I decided to just let him take his time and didn't ask anymore. He knew exactly how important it was to me and I just decided to wait and let him handle it, while I concentrate on my thesis and it paid off. He just texted me out of the blue that his flight is booked. I'm the happiest person in the world right now. Thanks everyone for your thoughts on this issue!

                        Comment

                          #13
                          wheee~
                          Congrats, you'll have a nice time together hopefully :3

                          Comment

                            #14
                            Glad to hear this! Hope you have a great time during this visit of his! Wishing all the best.

                            Comment

                              #15
                              Glad to hear it all worked out! Have a great time

                              ~
                              It'll take a lot more than words and guns
                              A whole lot more than riches and muscle
                              The hands of the many must join as one
                              And together we'll cross the river

                              Comment

                              Previous 1 2 template Next
                              Working...
                              X