My So and I were talking last night and she "confessed" to me that speaking to me (at least during videochat) currently feels like a job. She's working a few days each week (she claims it's part-time work, but based on her hours I'd call it full-time without the full-time pay), which is tiring her a lot, combined with other personal issues, she has said that when she gets home she just wants to zone out and relax; she said she feels like she has to talk to me and recently she can sense my stress when we talk. I might add I don't force her to talk to me, I don't nag her to videochat, she's normally the one to ask me.
My stress that she senses is my Master's dissertation. It's due in 2 and a half months now, which is plenty of time, but I've faced set backs, such as having to change topic after a month's research and having to read 450 year old Italian (yay!). Also, my social life is almost non-existent. Whereas my SO has to deal with people all day, I'll be lucky if I speak to a housemate for 30 minutes a day or if I'm at the library I get to say "sorry" if I accidentally bump into someone. As for online communication, most friends are at work during the day and also want to relax during the evening; this unfortunately leaves my girlfriend as my main source of communication for most days. Even with or without communication with her, this whole situation has made me feel increasingly unhappy and low.
Now, I understand how my girlfriend feels and although it hurt a little to hear our talks compared to a job, I understand she wants to relax. What I'm hoping you fine persons might help me with is how to create a healthier situation. I know my own stress is having a negative impact on me and likewise her, but even more so, the fact we're both stressed means neither can support the other well. How can I give her the space she wants, while improving my situation, so if she does want to talk, I can support her well?
My stress that she senses is my Master's dissertation. It's due in 2 and a half months now, which is plenty of time, but I've faced set backs, such as having to change topic after a month's research and having to read 450 year old Italian (yay!). Also, my social life is almost non-existent. Whereas my SO has to deal with people all day, I'll be lucky if I speak to a housemate for 30 minutes a day or if I'm at the library I get to say "sorry" if I accidentally bump into someone. As for online communication, most friends are at work during the day and also want to relax during the evening; this unfortunately leaves my girlfriend as my main source of communication for most days. Even with or without communication with her, this whole situation has made me feel increasingly unhappy and low.
Now, I understand how my girlfriend feels and although it hurt a little to hear our talks compared to a job, I understand she wants to relax. What I'm hoping you fine persons might help me with is how to create a healthier situation. I know my own stress is having a negative impact on me and likewise her, but even more so, the fact we're both stressed means neither can support the other well. How can I give her the space she wants, while improving my situation, so if she does want to talk, I can support her well?
and all I can say is that it's gonna get worse before it gets better. When I started writing I told him that he needed to be strong for me because I would get weak as time passed. At times he understood, other times he didn't and I had to remind him that I was under a lot of stress with work and studies, other times I had to be patient and keep it to myself. You need to adjust your behaviour accordingly, talk about other things, maybe miss a day or two of video chatting. Show vulnerability, express your stress, your worries but try to keep it light. No person can handle all this, not even ourselves when we experience it 
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