I’m a guy here, 23 years old, an employee. I know that it is not usual for a guy to complain about this, but I do care about my relationship. I had a great relationship with a 22 year old woman. We have been together for 5 years, and we have just engaged for a month. We were great together. But the problem came when she began to move to another city (500 km away) 8 months ago to pursue her education as a doctor. In the first 3 months everything went well, but after that I’m beginning to tired of my fiancé’s attitude in our long distance relationship. It is just really one-sided.
I always the one who initiate the talk in our daily life, asking about her activities and our future, give her some support that she needs. However, she rarely asked about my life and our future. Whenever she called me, she would just inform me that she would go with some of her friends to some places, but she didn’t ask about anything about me that day. In addition, I always come to her city once a month although it took such an effort and money for me. We have already talked about this, and she promised that she going to change, but although she said that she has changed, in fact I don’t feel she had because I am the only one who could feel it.
Her attitude towards me has raised my insecurity to some level that I have never imagined. In truth, I really trust her, but because of her lack of time and interest for me, I doubted that there was another guy (she has some close guy friends that lives really near from her), even though there were no clear proofs that she cheated. Because of my insecurity, sometimes we fought hard and in a few times she lied to me that she hang out with some guys.
But in the end, we tried to overcome this and we want to change. We don’t want to control each other, however we both agreed that we have to know our limit (for ex it is good to have any opposite gender friends whoever we wants, as much as we wants, but it is not okay to really that close with only one or two of them). I wanted to be a positive guy that trust her and she promised to be a much more caring girl.
Then, after months of self-thinking and discussion with my and her family, I proposed to her when I came to her city a month ago. I was a little bit sad that she didn’t accept it right away because she said that it was too early for us. After an hour waiting, she came back to me and accepted my proposal. In other way, I felt being rejected because she was not as excited as I predicted.
Now, we have been engaged for a month. I hope that our engagement could be a trigger for us to have much more positive relationship than before, but in fact it is not. She began to be her old self. It really hurts me that she promised to change, but she didn’t. She only care for herself and her own happiness. She didn’t care about me and our future. She didn’t support me as she did before for 5 years. I believe that no one is really that busy, because there are priorities. In addition, she began to break promises and limit that we agreed before. Whenever I remind her, she will be get annoyed and angry, which I was confused because she has agreed before.
As a result, right now I try to hide my feeling (feel being abandoned, jealous, etc) from her because I sad that my feeling makes her to be angry and annoyed. I want her to be happy and I don’t want to risk this relationship. But, this feeling really killing me inside which I feel that she is the only one who can cure this. Right now, I begin to distant myself from her (text and call less often) although I really care about anything happened in her life.
I always the one who initiate the talk in our daily life, asking about her activities and our future, give her some support that she needs. However, she rarely asked about my life and our future. Whenever she called me, she would just inform me that she would go with some of her friends to some places, but she didn’t ask about anything about me that day. In addition, I always come to her city once a month although it took such an effort and money for me. We have already talked about this, and she promised that she going to change, but although she said that she has changed, in fact I don’t feel she had because I am the only one who could feel it.
Her attitude towards me has raised my insecurity to some level that I have never imagined. In truth, I really trust her, but because of her lack of time and interest for me, I doubted that there was another guy (she has some close guy friends that lives really near from her), even though there were no clear proofs that she cheated. Because of my insecurity, sometimes we fought hard and in a few times she lied to me that she hang out with some guys.
But in the end, we tried to overcome this and we want to change. We don’t want to control each other, however we both agreed that we have to know our limit (for ex it is good to have any opposite gender friends whoever we wants, as much as we wants, but it is not okay to really that close with only one or two of them). I wanted to be a positive guy that trust her and she promised to be a much more caring girl.
Then, after months of self-thinking and discussion with my and her family, I proposed to her when I came to her city a month ago. I was a little bit sad that she didn’t accept it right away because she said that it was too early for us. After an hour waiting, she came back to me and accepted my proposal. In other way, I felt being rejected because she was not as excited as I predicted.
Now, we have been engaged for a month. I hope that our engagement could be a trigger for us to have much more positive relationship than before, but in fact it is not. She began to be her old self. It really hurts me that she promised to change, but she didn’t. She only care for herself and her own happiness. She didn’t care about me and our future. She didn’t support me as she did before for 5 years. I believe that no one is really that busy, because there are priorities. In addition, she began to break promises and limit that we agreed before. Whenever I remind her, she will be get annoyed and angry, which I was confused because she has agreed before.
As a result, right now I try to hide my feeling (feel being abandoned, jealous, etc) from her because I sad that my feeling makes her to be angry and annoyed. I want her to be happy and I don’t want to risk this relationship. But, this feeling really killing me inside which I feel that she is the only one who can cure this. Right now, I begin to distant myself from her (text and call less often) although I really care about anything happened in her life.
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