He's liking/following other girls and it's hurting me

[chrelnka]

Problem solved, thank you all. I spoke with him about it and everything is good now

[Katy_G]

It is probably best you have a calm but earnest conversation with him about this topic. Don't let it fester; deal with it as soon as possible for your peace of mind.

However it would be best to be diplomatic. Perhaps you could ask him to tell you more about the people he follows on his online accounts, and then from there edge into how this behavior does not make you feel comfortable.

[R&R]

If it bothers you, then you can bring it up. However, be aware that this may not change his behavior or his decision on following their pages. It can be seen as controlling or insecure.

My SO has people he follows on FB that are very attractive. He also follows ones that aren't attractive. I follow some extremely handsome men on mine. Does it mean that either of us are going to pursue those people? Nope, not at all. Are we jealous that the other follows them? Nope. My SO owns his own company that has him in and out of people's houses all the time. If he was going to do something, there is a much bigger chance of it happening in that situation- but I trust him and this only pops into my mind when a topic like this comes up. In the end, you have to trust your partner.

[chrelnka]

It is probably best you have a calm but earnest conversation with him about this topic. Don't let it fester; deal with it as soon as possible for your peace of mind.

However it would be best to be diplomatic. Perhaps you could ask him to tell you more about the people he follows on his online accounts, and then from there edge into how this behavior does not make you feel comfortable.

Thank you - I think I will try to bring it up to him, I just feel really awkward about it :/

If it bothers you, then you can bring it up. However, be aware that this may not change his behavior or his decision on following their pages. It can be seen as controlling or insecure.

My SO has people he follows on FB that are very attractive. He also follows ones that aren't attractive. I follow some extremely handsome men on mine. Does it mean that either of us are going to pursue those people? Nope, not at all. Are we jealous that the other follows them? Nope. My SO owns his own company that has him in and out of people's houses all the time. If he was going to do something, there is a much bigger chance of it happening in that situation- but I trust him and this only pops into my mind when a topic like this comes up. In the end, you have to trust your partner.

I understand he's still going to find people attractive, it just hurts he feels the need to follow this particular girl on every form of social media and then like her photos :/ I trust him and that he wouldnt cheat on me, I just dont understand why he likes her photos when she has a few thousands followers and wouldn't notice him anyway and it serves no benefit to her whatsoever, just hurts me by him making a point of noticing the way she looks. Thank you for your response

[MissButterfly]

I understand he's still going to find people attractive, it just hurts he feels the need to follow this particular girl on every form of social media and then like her photos :/ I trust him and that he wouldnt cheat on me, I just dont understand why he likes her photos when she has a few thousands followers and wouldn't notice him anyway and it serves no benefit to her whatsoever, just hurts me by him making a point of noticing the way she looks. Thank you for your response

I think you need to chill out. Would you react the same if he followed some really hot movie stars? Singers? Other famous people? People can follow/watch/like hundreds of other people they do not know. You say you're both youtubers, you probably follow other people you don't know as well. Just because he likes her pictures doesn't mean it's some kind of way to deliberately hurt you. I think you're overreacting, but if it bothers you so much you need to bring it up. What would also be useful is some self-reflection on why this makes you feel so insecure. You say you trust him, so why does following this girl bother you so much? Are you afraid he thinks she's prettier than you? As you say, people with so many followers might never notice each individual one. So what's so scary about him following a random girl?

[chrelnka]

I think you need to chill out. Would you react the same if he followed some really hot movie stars? Singers? Other famous people? People can follow/watch/like hundreds of other people they do not know. You say you're both youtubers, you probably follow other people you don't know as well. Just because he likes her pictures doesn't mean it's some kind of way to deliberately hurt you. I think you're overreacting, but if it bothers you so much you need to bring it up. What would also be useful is some self-reflection on why this makes you feel so insecure. You say you trust him, so why does following this girl bother you so much? Are you afraid he thinks she's prettier than you? As you say, people with so many followers might never notice each individual one. So what's so scary about him following a random girl?

It's just the fact he went out of his way to follow her everywhere. Then like her photos. He didnt contact me yesterday but he was online doing that. No, he would never deliberately hurt me or cheat on me I know that much. I guess it's just out of feeling hurt that he would feel the need to like her photos - I never like selfies of good looking guys because I feel it would be disrespectful to him that I approve of the way they look. He already isnt overly self confident in himself. I'm not either, but I know he thinks the world of me. I rarely post selfies or pose for pictures because I dont want to come off as full of myself, but she is the total opposite and does just that. Do I think she is prettier than me? Yes, but I know that I'm a fairly attractive person - he goes out of his way to say that I'm beautiful. I still haven't mentioned it because it seems more silly than it did to me last night - even though it does bother me. He likes pictures of girls a lot but this is the first time ive noticed him actually go out of his way to follow them everywhere like he wants to see everything she does. There's 100% no chance he's interested in what she posts so it isnt that. Just the way she looks.

[CanadianGirl]

I think you should just let him know that it hurts you and why. He probably has no idea. If I was doing something that was inadvertently hurting my SO, there's a good chance I'd try to understand his point of view and be accommodating if it didn't place an undue burden on me. For what it's worth, my SO and I have had very similar conversations in the past and the outcome has only been good.

[chrelnka]

Thank you very much. I lightheartedly brought it up to him and he said that it was his friend that did it on his account because they thought how funny the ASMR stuff she was doing was. I dont believe it for a second, his friend never visits him in the week. I'm brushing it off because I dont want to get into it or for him to find me stupid (he wouldnt but agai i dont like confrontation), but he instantly said "I WILL UNFOLLOW HER RIGHT AWAY" and did so. I know he respects me and I guess he lied so as not to hurt my feelings but gah...it's my first relationship and I do love him I just dont know whats "normal" for me to feel or not lol

[CanadianGirl]

I definitely struggled with not knowing if I was "allowed" to feel a certain way about things in a relationship. Especially so when we first got together. Looking back, I was really doing myself (and our relationship) a disservice by beating up on myself like that. Maybe it feels dumb, but someone who loves you won't be so quick to think so little of you and your feelings!