Ok here is a brief over of our situation. I met my boyfriend we'll call him Tim online via a friend that we share mutually we'll call him Bob.
I am really jealous of the relationship that Tim and Bob have even though it's not romantic in any way they always talk about things that I don't understand (video games I haven't played, jokes I can't get about things I know nothing about, videos they've shared with each other and neglected to include me in when sharing) which leaves me feeling like a third wheel in my own relationship sometimes. When it's just Tim and I... I'm fine and when it's all 3 of us most of the time we laugh and joke about things all 3 of us understand while we play video games together. In my eyes Bob might as well be a female that's how intensely I feel jealousy towards him.
Before Tim and and I started getting close we all (Tim, Bob, and I) spent time together but now that we are dating and in love I want more us time.
In the 8 months we've been dating Tim has always gone to lay down with me except a few times in the 8 months we've been dating. The several times he didn't he basically chose to stay up with Bob instead of taking the hour of time with me before bed. That's him choosing Bob over me which he has done on several occasions/situations. He's been getting better sort of. The several times he has stayed up I've literally layed in bed and wondered how could he choose Bob over me? Is that crazy to think that way. Like to think I don't mean enough to him for him to walk away from Bob to give me an hour of his time before bed... Is that asking too much?
So we've (after several arguments/discussions) come to the agreement and compromise that we have us time in the morning before work, and at night before bed where we lay in bed together talking and then I usually go to sleep first. He agreed that wasn't too much to ask of him because....I'm not making him go to sleep before he's tired, I just want us to wind down together and have our online version of "pillow talk" which is important in a relationship and I've read several studies that say couples who go to bed together are happier and have more successful relationships.
I'm not trying to keep him from Bob or not let him have alone time with his guy friends. I love Bob's company I just feel like he's really causing a rift in my relationship.
He gets alone time with me on our mutual days off work and he gets time alone with Bob on his days that he's off and I work. I told him that after I go to sleep I don't mind if he stays up and watches YouTube videos or looks at stuff online I just dont want him to hang out with Bob because they have enough time together. I feel like a crazy person because in my mind it feels like Bob is his girlfriend and I'm the side chick or vice versa. He's always sketchy about stuff involving Bob. I get maybe 3-4hrs a day of alone time to talk to him without Bob there. So I feel like asking for the 1-2hrs in the morning and 1-2 at night isn't much.
So we had this big long blown out argument about how he would go to bed with me like we agreed and do whatever he wanted after I fell asleep as long as it wasn't getting back up to talk/play games with Bob for 3-4 more hours (which throws our schedule off as a couple even more and takes away from our morning time together)
Last night (a week after we had an argument about him not going to lay down with me) he willingly went to bed with me we laid there talking until I was too tired to go on. We hung up our skype call and I drifted off feeling great like finally this is working everyone is happy. Then 30-40 mins later I get up to pee and I see that there he is back online with Bob in a game. I called him and asked him why he decided to do the one thing I asked him not to because it hurts my feelings and makes me jealous. He said he didn't feel good (then why wouldn't you be in bed, bad excuse) and that he didn't think I would care over one game (he knows better, excuse.) After a while of arguing with him about how he basically spit in my face by doing something he KNEW would hurt me. (He later admitted he knew I'd be mad/hurt after I questioned him about it.) I asked him why he did it and all he said was that he's sorry and that he's dumb he doesn't know why he did it. He got off the game with Bob I was sobbing and pouring my heart out to him how I feel like he just shits on my feelings repeatedly. (This isn't the first time he's lied or done some suspect stuff!!) I told him I can't handle him lying to me which he's done several times. We finally got to the point where I told him I don't deserve to be hurting every other week when we had this argument a week ago and came to a compromise/resolution that benefited us both. I told him I'm so done with the lies.
We went to bed around 6:30am, he said he was going to sleep this time around because he was tired and didn't feel good. So I laid down to try and sleep but as a woman you know our minds are reeling all night.
So this morning I wake up for work having about 3.5 hrs sleep he wakes up 5hrs later than I do because he stayed up until 8:30am. He doesn't know that I know he stayed up so as a test I asked him what time he went to bed since he's waking up so late and he says same time as you babe... Even though I know for a 100% fact that he didn't I have proof of his lie so I told him I know you stayed up, that I don't care about its the fact that you blatantly lied to me AGAIN! Right to my face... I don't care if he stays up as long as he isn't with Bob or other women while I'm asleep. I care that he lied.
So this entire back story is basically me trying to understand am I dating a lying asshole that doesn't respect me and lies to me repeatedly or am I just a crazy controlling biatch? Please give me piece of mind. He keeps telling me that I'm over-reacting to all of this but I'm reacting as severely as it hurts me. I love deep and feel emotions and betrayal deeply. I'm to the point where I'm like should I ditch him and move on? The reason why I am hesitant to do that is because I love him... And I've already invested over 1,000 dollars on a vacation we're going on together in October.
I am really jealous of the relationship that Tim and Bob have even though it's not romantic in any way they always talk about things that I don't understand (video games I haven't played, jokes I can't get about things I know nothing about, videos they've shared with each other and neglected to include me in when sharing) which leaves me feeling like a third wheel in my own relationship sometimes. When it's just Tim and I... I'm fine and when it's all 3 of us most of the time we laugh and joke about things all 3 of us understand while we play video games together. In my eyes Bob might as well be a female that's how intensely I feel jealousy towards him.
Before Tim and and I started getting close we all (Tim, Bob, and I) spent time together but now that we are dating and in love I want more us time.
In the 8 months we've been dating Tim has always gone to lay down with me except a few times in the 8 months we've been dating. The several times he didn't he basically chose to stay up with Bob instead of taking the hour of time with me before bed. That's him choosing Bob over me which he has done on several occasions/situations. He's been getting better sort of. The several times he has stayed up I've literally layed in bed and wondered how could he choose Bob over me? Is that crazy to think that way. Like to think I don't mean enough to him for him to walk away from Bob to give me an hour of his time before bed... Is that asking too much?
So we've (after several arguments/discussions) come to the agreement and compromise that we have us time in the morning before work, and at night before bed where we lay in bed together talking and then I usually go to sleep first. He agreed that wasn't too much to ask of him because....I'm not making him go to sleep before he's tired, I just want us to wind down together and have our online version of "pillow talk" which is important in a relationship and I've read several studies that say couples who go to bed together are happier and have more successful relationships.
I'm not trying to keep him from Bob or not let him have alone time with his guy friends. I love Bob's company I just feel like he's really causing a rift in my relationship.
He gets alone time with me on our mutual days off work and he gets time alone with Bob on his days that he's off and I work. I told him that after I go to sleep I don't mind if he stays up and watches YouTube videos or looks at stuff online I just dont want him to hang out with Bob because they have enough time together. I feel like a crazy person because in my mind it feels like Bob is his girlfriend and I'm the side chick or vice versa. He's always sketchy about stuff involving Bob. I get maybe 3-4hrs a day of alone time to talk to him without Bob there. So I feel like asking for the 1-2hrs in the morning and 1-2 at night isn't much.
So we had this big long blown out argument about how he would go to bed with me like we agreed and do whatever he wanted after I fell asleep as long as it wasn't getting back up to talk/play games with Bob for 3-4 more hours (which throws our schedule off as a couple even more and takes away from our morning time together)
Last night (a week after we had an argument about him not going to lay down with me) he willingly went to bed with me we laid there talking until I was too tired to go on. We hung up our skype call and I drifted off feeling great like finally this is working everyone is happy. Then 30-40 mins later I get up to pee and I see that there he is back online with Bob in a game. I called him and asked him why he decided to do the one thing I asked him not to because it hurts my feelings and makes me jealous. He said he didn't feel good (then why wouldn't you be in bed, bad excuse) and that he didn't think I would care over one game (he knows better, excuse.) After a while of arguing with him about how he basically spit in my face by doing something he KNEW would hurt me. (He later admitted he knew I'd be mad/hurt after I questioned him about it.) I asked him why he did it and all he said was that he's sorry and that he's dumb he doesn't know why he did it. He got off the game with Bob I was sobbing and pouring my heart out to him how I feel like he just shits on my feelings repeatedly. (This isn't the first time he's lied or done some suspect stuff!!) I told him I can't handle him lying to me which he's done several times. We finally got to the point where I told him I don't deserve to be hurting every other week when we had this argument a week ago and came to a compromise/resolution that benefited us both. I told him I'm so done with the lies.
We went to bed around 6:30am, he said he was going to sleep this time around because he was tired and didn't feel good. So I laid down to try and sleep but as a woman you know our minds are reeling all night.
So this morning I wake up for work having about 3.5 hrs sleep he wakes up 5hrs later than I do because he stayed up until 8:30am. He doesn't know that I know he stayed up so as a test I asked him what time he went to bed since he's waking up so late and he says same time as you babe... Even though I know for a 100% fact that he didn't I have proof of his lie so I told him I know you stayed up, that I don't care about its the fact that you blatantly lied to me AGAIN! Right to my face... I don't care if he stays up as long as he isn't with Bob or other women while I'm asleep. I care that he lied.
So this entire back story is basically me trying to understand am I dating a lying asshole that doesn't respect me and lies to me repeatedly or am I just a crazy controlling biatch? Please give me piece of mind. He keeps telling me that I'm over-reacting to all of this but I'm reacting as severely as it hurts me. I love deep and feel emotions and betrayal deeply. I'm to the point where I'm like should I ditch him and move on? The reason why I am hesitant to do that is because I love him... And I've already invested over 1,000 dollars on a vacation we're going on together in October.
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