I told him I would start dating others? Did I do right?

[MehMehMeh2013]

My 1st LDR isn't going smoothly as I have posted in a couple posts earlier. I thought that the guy really cared about me and wanted that closeness w/me, that's why I agreed to the LDR. He asked me 2x to be his gf and the 2nd time I agreed. We have been skyping about once a week and I feel super happy and connected when we are on skype, but outside of that not really due to his lack of texting. Yesterday I pretty much exploded cause the day before I talked to him about how I felt and everything was just going the same way. I pretty much put it out there that I wanted to see my options (other guys) and re make my online dating profile. He then told me how much he cares for me, misses me, but doesn't know how to show me attention (the only thing I want from him). Did I do wrong by this? Are we doomed if I even had to stoop to that level? btw we have talked about visiting each other and hopefully soon we can arrange something.

[snow]

Like always, imagine the roles reversed. Did you do right?

If my partner told me that they were redoing their profile to see their options because I'm not giving them what they want, I'd be pretty upset and really hurt.

To me, it seems like you are done with him and should get out of this relationship in a respectful way instead of making him feel inferior. If he is not the right one and you are sure this is nothing he can work on, get out now before you invest too much time and effort in a one-sided relationship.
If you want to try this out with him, let him know what you expect out of this relationship in terms of exclusiveness, communication and affection and then work something out that works for the both of you. Every person is different and some people don't need as much verbal confirmation as others, some need a lot of attention, some are totally fine with a few words here and there through texts with a long call at night. You gotta figure your style out, try different things and see what works.

But honestly, telling him you're seeing your options is just rude in my opinion. It's like telling your mom that you'd rather go see what the restaurant has to offer if you don't like what she cooks.

[whatruckus]

Like always, imagine the roles reversed. Did you do right?

If my partner told me that they were redoing their profile to see their options because I'm not giving them what they want, I'd be pretty upset and really hurt.

To me, it seems like you are done with him and should get out of this relationship in a respectful way instead of making him feel inferior. If he is not the right one and you are sure this is nothing he can work on, get out now before you invest too much time and effort in a one-sided relationship.
If you want to try this out with him, let him know what you expect out of this relationship in terms of exclusiveness, communication and affection and then work something out that works for the both of you. Every person is different and some people don't need as much verbal confirmation as others, some need a lot of attention, some are totally fine with a few words here and there through texts with a long call at night. You gotta figure your style out, try different things and see what works.

But honestly, telling him you're seeing your options is just rude in my opinion. It's like telling your mom that you'd rather go see what the restaurant has to offer if you don't like what she cooks.

This. I was on the opposite end and it really sucked. It still sucks and it really hurt, and I don't feel good enough.

[TheSteelAngel]

If you really aren't getting anything out of this then maybe you should leave, but do it in a respectful way like the others have told you. I feel bad for this guy honestly. It really seems like he cares about you but doesn't know how to show it. This is still a new relationship so I think you should really think hard about your decision.

[MissingMyDutchLove]

I would just like to add that relationships are HARD. There isn't a single person one here that can say that their relationship has always been smooth sailing (and if they do, they are lying!) Especially in the beginning of relationships, it takes a lot to learn how to communicate and give each other what you need. You have to be willing to be patient and teach him what you want. If you can't or are not willing to do that, then you shouldn't be with him.

[MehMehMeh2013]

I am willing to commit, but not to someone who is hot an cold esp in a LDR. I did communicate what I was feeling and he didn't pick up on that, I was patient, I put up w/that for a couple weeks until I just about had it. I don't want to be led on and it is very hurtful for someone to start ghosting you after they wanted the serious relationship.

[Redheart14]

Just move on. Your posts keep repeating that he can't give you what you want. If you're telling him you are thinking of online dating then I guess you've decided. Resorting to saying things like dating others to get the answers you want from him isn't how it should work. Best of luck

[differentcountries]

Either you are in the relationship, and trying to make it work, or you are single and you are free to shop around.

Who knows if he is ghosting, not giving things you wish for etc. People are different and communication can be hard. I sometimes offended my SO, he does the same with me. İf he had ever told me he was redoing his dating profile because he was upset, I would tell him to simply get out of my life. To us, even mentioning the idea of not being together is what we refer to as "that time we almost broke up". We just dont do that or say that. İt scares us both so much we will almost (or literally) cry. Whatever might be wrong in the relationship, threaten to end it is not the way to get what you want. You come off as hot and cold yourself, and set the worst example.

If you are not happy, get out. But when you say "I tried for a few weeks" I am not that impressed by that, especially since he admitted he doesn't know how to fix things. You say you want texting or some sort of contact. So, explore with him. Does phone calls work better for him? Pics? Emoji?

[C.C.]

No.

You are not satisfied enough and what, you are expecting to get it with this behaviour? Or find out anything?
It's wrong. I agree with others, either you break it off altogether or try to improve everything and be committed to a relationship.

Even if someone doesn't love you and doesn't bring you whatever you require, doesn't mean they deserve this kind of treatment. Anyone can get hurt.
Relationship is not a game. And you are repaying disrespect with even more disrespect.

[R&R]

Either you are in the relationship, and trying to make it work, or you are single and you are free to shop around.

Who knows if he is ghosting, not giving things you wish for etc. People are different and communication can be hard. I sometimes offended my SO, he does the same with me. İf he had ever told me he was redoing his dating profile because he was upset, I would tell him to simply get out of my life. To us, even mentioning the idea of not being together is what we refer to as "that time we almost broke up". We just dont do that or say that. İt scares us both so much we will almost (or literally) cry. Whatever might be wrong in the relationship, threaten to end it is not the way to get what you want. You come off as hot and cold yourself, and set the worst example.

If you are not happy, get out. But when you say "I tried for a few weeks" I am not that impressed by that, especially since he admitted he doesn't know how to fix things. You say you want texting or some sort of contact. So, explore with him. Does phone calls work better for him? Pics? Emoji?

This pretty much sums up what I was going to say.

You've made it quite clear that you aren't happy and haven't been. It's time for you to cut your losses and find someone (and probably locally) that can give you the kind of attention you want.

In any relationship, you don't say something unless you mean it. You don't threaten to break up or put up your dating profile again to try to manipulate your SO into the type of behavior that you want. That's downright childish. And remember, other people aren't you and they aren't always going to behave how you want or you wish or you desire. We fall in love with someonefor who that person is, and when you try to change them, well then they aren't the person you fell in love with anymore, are they??

[Elizabeth123]

From the various threads you've posted...it's time for you to move on. Don't keep him as a back-up for your insecurities. You don't remake a dating profile when you are in a committed relationship (LD or CD).
LDR's take a lot of effort from BOTH partners. Only you can decide if this is the right or wrong decision in your relationship.

[snow]

If you are not happy with this guy and he cannot fulfill your needs, then move on. Let him know that unfortunately you two are not compatible - that happens, but don't expect us here to support disrespectful behavior. It's uncalled for and rude. If you don't like the way he communicates or gives you attention, then tell him and move on, but don't tell him to his face that you're looking for someone else because he's not good enough - that's just not right, no matter how much you think he deserves this. Hurting another person on purpose and then seeking confirmation is just gross.

[MehMehMeh2013]

He actually just let me know recently that he just wants to be alone and has made me a "friend". I feel as though I didn't approach it right, but otherwise he would have never told me the truth. The reason for the all the ghosting was the dear of intimacy.