Can a year 'break' in a ldr work?

[Pinkxoxoxo]

I seem to attract not-so-great guys it looks.

whatruckus and C.C. Thanks for all the advice. I know this guy loves me and that if he wasn't leaving we would still be happily togehter. I think meeting his family reinforced this to me, and although he hasn't said as much, I think he just doesn't want us both to have a miserable year missing each other and trying to communicate and keep a relationship together from other sides of the world. Also I'm trying not to be selfish, I want him to have an amazing year abroad - otherwise what's the point in going! You're right, I have to treat this as a break up and what will be will be when he returns!!

[Pinkxoxoxo]

I went through something similar! So I'm going to give you advice based from what you have said and my own experiences with a very similar situation in my past...

The decision that was made seems, by the sounds of it, that it was largely laid down by him, due to the fact you went through all the effort of meeting his family in the hope he maybe would try long distance. If you're able to imagine a future with him and he is wanting to go on a break so he can enjoy Australia then it shows that the priorities individually are very different, so this year apart may be the best thing! You need to use this year to bond with your friends even more, enjoy life, enjoy uni and if a new guy just so happens to come along then give it a chance and see what happens. My main concern is that I don't want you getting even more hurt, so of course continue to talk to him if you want to but try not to rely on him to keep you happy, as it will only hold you back from meeting someone that may be better for you!

Use this year to grow and develop as a person, focus on yourself and do exactly what you want to do, don't think too hardly about your future romantically and it will fall into place, trust me on that!!

Thanks for your advice, it's nice to know that someone else has been through a similar thing!!! What did you do in your situation?

[differentcountries]

There are people on this forum who see each other less than twice a year, and they do not come to the conclution that the relationship has to end. When I visit my SO now, it will have been 4 months since we saw each other last. We dont have any special skills, we just want to be together in any shape and form. He on the other hand, introduce you to his family only to break up, and even claims to you that he does it "for the best". This is textbook ambivalent behaviour, telling you that he is a pretty confused man who decided to limit your influence in his life.

You ask if he will want to date who when he gets back. Who knows. And who knows if you want to date him yourself then. A lot can change in one year.

[MissingMyDutchLove]

I believe that breaks can work, but only in some situations. Say you two have been fighting every time you talk and neither of you can focus on your life and responsibilities because of the crushing anxiety of the next perpetual fight. I think it's perfectly okay in that situation to say that you're basically just pausing the conversation for a week for both of your mental health. In that situation, both people are still committed to one another and are committed to making it work, but they just need a break from the pressure. I think that's a good break. On the other hand, someone like others were talking about that uses a break as an excuse to bang anything that moves while still having the security of going back to the waiting partner at the end is a bad break.

With that being said, OP- I think the others were right to say that this is more of a breakup than a break. If the two of you are committed to getting back together and this is the only way you can get through the next year, then more power to you. I strongly agree that if two people love each other enough, distance can't break them. However, BOTH people need to want it more than anything. If your partner wants the next year relationship-stress free, then there really is nothing you can do other than move on with your life, have a kick ass year, and reevaluate your feelings when the time comes.