The hardest is to say "Bye"

[BAW]

My Bf and I applied the past month for the visa to the Netherlands( where he lives) and it's been refused. So 10 days ago he came to help me and to support me for the new visa application.
The holidays were not how we expected, we were stressed nervous so finally we fought more than we loved.
We love each other with all our heart, but it is very very hard.
How long are we going to wait!? Are we fighting the right battle!? Are we not loosing our time and energy!? Is our love stronger than the distance!?
I know he is the one but I am confused and sad.

[Elizabeth123]

*hug*
That's a tough circumstance. You need to talk with your SO and take time to figure out what other options you both have. IMHO if you are both committed - it's worth the wait. Support each other and I'm sure someone will post with international experience and advice.
My LDR is in one country but we too are having trouble closing distance. I'm wishing the best for you.

[tim260]

Hi,

I'm from the Netherlands myself and my girlfriend lives in Canada, before our first visit last month we had fights too. All I can say to that is, fighting is normal in healthy relationships!

And if you think he is the one, it is definitely worth the wait! I won't ever let the distance not make me want to wait!

Just curious, are you applying for an Schengen visa?

[MissingMyDutchLove]

I am also curious about the visa you're applying for. I am going over on a partner visa and the requirements are pretty straight forward. If your partner meets the minimum income requirements it is very hard to be denied. Would you share what visa and what the reasons were for denial? That might be able to help us understand a little better.

I know the waiting game is tough, but hang in there. There are many of us on here that go years without closing the distance. It'll be three years for us and it was a complete shock that we were actually able to make it work because the plan was to wait a few more years. You two haven't been LD that long, so keep your spirits high and just take the time to grow as a couple and enjoy each other. Worrying about closing the distance now only puts pain and stress into your relationship.

[BAW]

I am appying for the Schengen Visa.

Documents required for all applicants:
-The passport should be valid for three months after departure from the territory of the Schengen countries and must have 2 blank visa page + photocopy;
-Your old passport + photo copy
-National ID card, birth certificate for minors, proof of residence;
-For applicants with a different nationality : residence permit for Morocco with a validity of at least three months after your scheduled return including its photocopy or proof of application for renewal;
-One application form completed in French, Dutch or English only and signed by the applicant (for minors both parents need to sign).
-Two recent and resembling passport sized (35 mm x 45 mm) color photographs, white background.
-Copy of all previous Schengen Visa taken in the last 5 years.
-Proof of civil status (marriage certificates or certificate of single status, divorce certificate, certificate of widowhood, family record book etc.),
-Travel medical insurance covering the entire period of the intended stay, valid for all Schengen States and covering any expenses which might arise in connection with repatriation for medical reasons, urgency medical attention, emergency hospital treatment or death during the stay. ---The minimum coverage must be 30.000 EUR in accordance with the art. 15.2 of the Visa Code, for applicants receiving visas for multiple entries, the insurance only needs to cover the first trip.
-Hotel reservation
-Proof of transport to the Netherlands : reservation of a return Air ticket to the Netherlands or bus ticket or ferry ticket to the Netherlands + vehicle registration certificate as applicable.

Students:

-If minor; authorization to leave the territory from legal representatives signed and certified;
-School attendance certificate/student card for the current year;
-Original of birth certificate or parents’ family record book;
-Undertaking to cover costs, signed and certified, with evidence of the parents’/legal representative(s)’ socio-professional status based on the categories above; and/or
-Other proof of assets or other means of subsistence, as applicable

but I apply from Morocco and I am Ivorian so it might be easier for you.

[BAW]

yes for the schengen visa.
Actually a few days before we make the request, one of our friends is lawer, he told us that with all that happens in the world it would be almost miracle to get the visa.
so we don't really expect something

[MissingMyDutchLove]

So I assume with the Schengen Visa that you two are not actually trying to close the distance yet but just have a visit in the Netherlands? I'm sorry that I misinterpreted your post. All I can say is to just keep plugging along. He can come to your country, which helps things. You two also can visit a third country. I know it's not ideal, but don't let something so silly ruin your relationship or make it stressful more than it has to be. You two still have a way to have visits and you will be able to visit the Netherlands some day.

[differentcountries]

It all depends why they rejected in the first place. İt should explain why in the rejection letter. We will get rejections for SO on his own (The Foreign Departement don't regard seasonal work as a steady job) which is why I am his garantist legally and financially. Our first rejection was very hard on us, but making the visa happen was very furfilling. I wish you luck!

[BAW]

Thank you for your message I sent it to my Bf too.
we plan to close the distance after my Bachelor in one year, so now we just wnat to spend as much time as possibe together.
He works so he doesn't have enough time and it is expensive when he comes to me or we travel together (we have to stay in the hotels and blabla.. ). if I can go to him, i will stay in his appartment so he could work and also be with me (at least for the summer) or when I have free days i could easily go to him and vice versa . But you know, things never work exacty how we want.
xx

[MissingMyDutchLove]

Hang in there. Only one more year of this and then you two can close the distance! I know it's not ideal, but as you said, things never work out the way we want. It sounds like you're staying positive about it and that's really really good! Best of luck to you two despite these setbacks!

[hrmionegrngr]

I relate to this so much! My bf was supposed to move back in two weeks, and it looks like we're now facing another year of distance.

I hope you have a strong support system to lean on right now. It helps to have family and friends to talk to, even if they sometimes say stupid things.

Really feeling for both of you. Hold on to hope!

[hrmionegrngr]

I relate to this so much! My bf was supposed to move back in two weeks, and it looks like we're now facing another year of distance.

I hope you have a strong support system to lean on right now. It helps to have family and friends to talk to, even if they sometimes say stupid things.

Really feeling for both of you. Hold on to hope!