Just need to vent.

[lonelyandsad]

I've just come across this website so bear with me as I figure it out, but I am completely devastated right now.

My boyfriend lives a couple hours away in our home state, I had to move for work and he is still finishing college for another year. I never could have imagined how hard it would be for me and I don't think I would have taken the job if I had known. It's only been a month of distance so far, and we've been together 3 years. How do people do this??? How can couples live countries away from each other???

We just spent the most amazing weekend together, it was better than I could have dreamed. I love him so much and I am sure we are soulmates. But every time he leaves I go into the deepest depression. I lose my appetite and can barely eat. The hardest part is I don't know anyone here in my new town, I have no one to talk to and terrible social anxiety. I'm not sure if I'm making sense or just rambling with this, but I needed to vent and need people who understand and can offer support.

Please if anyone reads this, please respond. Please tell me it's going to be ok.

[sasad]

Its going to be ok if you and y our SO make it ok...
Lots of info on this site about what to do to help make things bearable..
First, its great you are less then 3 hours apart. That makes weekends doable.. Lots of us only see so once a month or less.. some once a year... so consider yourself lucky in that aspect!
That being said, everyone will tell you... give yourself a day or so to be sad. Then stop, Find other stuff. Make friends. join clubs..look at meetup.com. You cannot just sit and be upset about it all the time. It will end up wearing down your relationship.
Communicate with your SO. keep that open and keep that real. Plan dates online. Plan dates in real life. Look to the future and not wallow in the "now".
You are way to close in distance to not e able to meet up monthly

[MissingMyDutchLove]

A lot of LD is what you put into it. You have to change your outlook on it from something awful and lonely to a chance to grow as an individual and as a couple. Yes, it is hard being away from the person that you love, but you have an amazing chance to push yourself out of your comfort zone and make new friends and really make your current living situation home. I understand how hard that is as I have terrible anxiety when I first try to meet people too, but that is the only way you two will survive this. You need a way to distract yourself and many times that comes in the form of hobbies or friends. Long distance can be an extremely positive thing, but you have to let it be!

As far as how we survive being in two different countries, we do what we have to do. Many times, you just don't have a choice and if you love someone enough you'd rather have them in your life even if you only get to see them every so often than not have them in your life at all. As someone who has been doing this for three years, I can tell you this: IT WILL GET BETTER. The time after visits is always rough, but you will get into a routine and it will get easier both while you are apart and after a visit. After a while, you will be a LDR pro and it won't feel quite as impossible as it did in the beginning.

It is going to be okay. You two will survive this and you will have a stronger relationship for it, but you have to put in some work to have that happen. The only happy LDRs are ones that both people have fulfilling lives separate from each other. You have to be able to live without your SO and be perfectly happy. You don't NEED him to survive, but you still know that you two are better together and that you want him by your side even if you can stand without him there. You will get there eventually. Don't rush it, but also start working on you. That's the first step here. Best of luck to you!

[lonelyandsad]

Thank you both so much, you gave me a lot of hope. I just wish I knew how to make friends.

[sasad]

Try meetup.com. Past people you work with? Church?