When is the best time to give up?

[TGRone]

My boyfriend broke up with me yesterday. For the reason that we were having a lot of issues the past months.
I just need some advice cause he always involve his friends whenever we have personal problems in our relationship. I talked to him about this but he told me that I was controlling and manipulative for asking him to not talk to his friends about our problems cause all I wanted is just the two of us to solve our own problem.

Then he broke up with me. He is pushing me away. I don't understand which part I did wrong.

I wante to be back with him cause it's so painful that I've loved him so dearly and all our trips were amazing and then this all happened.

Should I give up?

[Bunrorth]

hmm.. I did the same with my SO... I always involve my friends whenever we have a personal problem that is because she doesn't know that she is controlling or manipulative. I tried to prove that she is but she denies it every time.. I even told her to ask her own friends and she say no and still denies it. I would not give up.. I would call him up and apologize but then that feels like you are begging him back.. I am sure he is waiting for you to call him or something. If you cared about him so much I would call him and ask to work it out. Some of us men don't want to apologize and we want to be called to feel we are loved, you know what I mean?

[sasad]

Oh you can ask him, but don't play the game. If he or she breaks up, do not push it. And men that can't apologize??? Seriously??? Grow up and become a man and learn how to apologize and stop the bs.

There is a point where talking to friends can be too much. There is also a point when asking friends for advice and help is really ok. Especially if you are dealing with someone with control issues or someone who won't listen and communicate, so, if he really was trying to talk to you and you blew him off, or he won't talk to you at all, then it may be hard to change his mind. Give him time and space. Don't be the annoying ex....

[Bunrorth]

Oh you can ask him, but don't play the game. If he or she breaks up, do not push it. And men that can't apologize??? Seriously??? Grow up and become a man and learn how to apologize and stop the bs.

There is a point where talking to friends can be too much. There is also a point when asking friends for advice and help is really ok. Especially if you are dealing with someone with control issues or someone who won't listen and communicate, so, if he really was trying to talk to you and you blew him off, or he won't talk to you at all, then it may be hard to change his mind. Give him time and space. Don't be the annoying ex....

Hmmp, I guess I word it wrong. As I read what you just said it seems like you got a bit angry. Sorry, about that.

[C.C.]

Depends how you asked about it.
If you demanded for him not to talk to his friends about your issues, than he's right, that's a bit too much. If you asked if he could do it and explained why, then that's another thing.
I am completely against involving friends or other people DIRECTLY into relationship, and I think me and my SO should give it our all before we involve others. But that's all individual. Some people handle it better themselves, some with others' advice. So no "right" or "wrong" there, it should have been about you two making a compromise of some sort.

As for the break up, maybe ask him if there is any chance for working out your issues, have some calm talk if you think you haven't gotten your answers and if you think he's made too rash of a decision.
But no matter the reasoning, if his decision is absolute and if he doesn't want to talk or reconsider anything, then there's nothing you can do. You'll have to respect it and move on.

hmm.. I did the same with my SO... I always involve my friends whenever we have a personal problem that is because she doesn't know that she is controlling or manipulative. I tried to prove that she is but she denies it every time.. I even told her to ask her own friends and she say no and still denies it.

Don't compare this to your own relationship. You yourself know how unhealthy it is and you basically don't have many choices and involving friends or not, you are still kind of victimised, I think.

I am sure he is waiting for you to call him or something. If you cared about him so much I would call him and ask to work it out. Some of us men don't want to apologize and we want to be called to feel we are loved, you know what I mean?

Not really? I think your wording is pretty clear. No, mature men want to apologise and don't wait to be called to feel they are loved. Those are just games. Gender role involving games which don't bring healthy relationships.
And no he is not waiting for her to make him feel loved. The only way to find out what he feels is to directly ask if he feels up for a conversation and a talk about what happened or not. If he doesn't and his decision is absolute, he's not waiting for anything, it means he's done.

[R&R]

My boyfriend broke up with me yesterday. For the reason that we were having a lot of issues the past months.
I just need some advice cause he always involve his friends whenever we have personal problems in our relationship. I talked to him about this but he told me that I was controlling and manipulative for asking him to not talk to his friends about our problems cause all I wanted is just the two of us to solve our own problem.

Then he broke up with me. He is pushing me away. I don't understand which part I did wrong.

I wante to be back with him cause it's so painful that I've loved him so dearly and all our trips were amazing and then this all happened.

Should I give up?

You've been having issues for about a month, so there had to have been more issues about the relationship than just him talking with his friends about problems. If he was just talking to friends and trying to figure out how to handle situations - I think a lot of people do that. Yes, the ultimate decisions woudl be between the two of you but sometimes you talk to a third party to help you sort out your feelings. Unless he was asking them to talk to you for him, I don't see what the big deal is.

He broke up with you. This means the relationship is over. Most relationships ending are not done mutually, but because one person ends it with the other. This leaves one person not in the same place because they still want the relationship; but a relationship takes two people to work. No matter how much you may want it, he no longer does and there's not much you can do about that. This isn't the movies where you go back and fight for it and everyone lives happily ever after. Back off and give him the space and respect his decision to break up. If he comes back and says he was wrong and wants to work it out, then I would suggest a serious discussion and comprosmises along with some guidelines that you BOTH agree on as to what is and isn't acceptable regarding your relationship and how you deal with issues. But let him come to you about it or you'll be that ex who doesn't go away and understand when the relationship is over.